Chapter 65 – Meth Making is Popular among Pharmacy Company, Said Florida Man Who Successfully Converted Famous Chemist into Meth Chef
After a quick bath, Leo came out of the blue pool. He made sure to wipe his body with a towel and put on his clothes before he returned to the workshop. However, as Leo got sidetracked by his pending silliness and craziness, things developed in the workshop.
The group of workers were on their way to the recycling workshop. However, none of them carried a box of mushrooms with them. Instead, they returned empty-handed.
"Huh?"
Leo gazed at the wood mannequins. He inspected their bodies if they were infected by the mushrooms, but they seemed unharmed.
"Where are the mushrooms? What happened?"
The mannequins couldn't answer. They simply stared at Leo's face, waiting for his next instructions.
Seeing their reactions, Leo scratched his head, "Fine. Go clear the forest weeds in the backyard for me. Throw everything in the junkyard, but don't toss them into the pool. I need to sort them out first. Can you do it?"
The mannequins flinched as they updated the new instructions. They turned around in unison and left the junkyard to the back.
Meanwhile, Leo rushed to the workshop. He needed to know what happened to the mushrooms as they were the finest ingredients for new pills. Upon reaching the front of the workshops, Leo glanced at the group of elders, who were nursing Hua Jiashan back to health.
"???"
Leo frowned and turned in another direction. Then, he saw the cause of the mess – Cat was there, scooping and eating mushrooms in glee. Some spores latched on her mouth and skin, but they couldn't grow for an unknown reason.
Cat also noticed Leo's arrival. When the humanoid head spotted him, she waved her hands at him.
"You…" Leo facepalmed. Cat was too innocent, and he couldn't get angry at her. "Cat. You're not supposed to eat that. The mushrooms are dangerous. It will turn you into a zombie. By the way, are you a zombie yet?"
"Meow?" Cat tilted her human head, unable to understand his words.
"What do you mean by a zombie? Well, a zombie is a walking corpse of a human or a monster. They smell bad, and they attack random people to spread their diseases. You can get really sick if you get bitten or infected."
"Meow!? Meow-Meow?!"
"Yes, you're eating zombie disease dust at the moment. The mushrooms are the disease spreader."
"MEOW!!"
Cat stopped eating. Her human part cried, but the chomper mouth continued chewing the mushrooms. After the mouth swallowed everything, the long tongue came out and licked his face.
Leo rolled his eyes. Cat's bad breath was stinker than Morbol from Final Fantasy Series, and he took 9,999 emotional damage from the odor.
While Cat licked him, Leo inspected her oral health. A thousand small fangs were yellowish, and pieces of rotten potatoes were still stuck between her teeth. Fortunately, there was no sign of a zombie mushroom growing in her mouth.
Leo was relieved. He patted the plant girl and entered the building to see the carnage.
Inside the building, most of the mushrooms were removed, leaving only a small portion that the alchemy mannequin had processed. However, the mannequin was not in the workshop.
Leo pursed his lips and collected the remaining small pieces of cut mushrooms in a container. He closed the Tupperware box and left it there for the time being. Then, he looked at the roof.
WIGGLE
A small portion of mushrooms remained in the corners of the building. However, the growth speed was drastically reduced as they lacked nutrition.
Leo walked closer to the mushrooms in one of the corners. As soon as he got close, the mushrooms were attracted to his radiation aura, and they moved toward him. They also grew faster.
"Yeah. Figured as much. I'm the cause."
Leo quietly peeled the mushrooms in the corners and put them in the same Tupperware box. Then, they stopped growing.
The crisis was over. Leo wiped his sweat and gazed at the mushrooms in the containers.
"I'll regrow you when I have a better building. For now, you guys need to go swimming. Hehehe."
Leo exited the building with the box. When he got out, Cat was still there, sobbing like a little baby.
A crying little girl benefited no one. Leo sighed and patted the giant plant girl, "Listen, you're not going to be infected or anything. You're immune to the disease."
"Meow?"
"Yes. Really!"
"Meow? Meow?"
"Really, really!"
"Meow <3"
Cat stopped crying. She kissed him by sucking half of his upper body into her mouth and repeatedly licked his face like a lollipop. After wetting his face and hair enough, Cat hummed and crawled back to the granary, which ended up as her house.
Leo blankly stared at the plant girl and shook his head. He no longer bothered wiping his face or hair as it would have ruined the cloth or the towel.
CREAK-CRACK
While Cat was crawling home, the alchemy mannequin returned. It came from the granary's direction, and it carried a bunch of potatoes in its arms. The doll arrived at the second alchemy cauldron and dropped 10 potato pieces in there along with a piece of sweet dream mushroom. Then, it looked at Leo.
Leo shrugged as he knew what the mannequin asked for. He spat at the fireplace of the cauldron, giving it some essence.
DING
<Refining Hope and Dream Pills…>
The lid was automatically closed as the cauldron started working. A timer menu, which only Leo could see, appeared in front of the cauldron.
<6 Days, 23 Hours, 59 Minutes, 58 Seconds…>
The process took as long as the immortal pills. Leo bitterly smiled as he wouldn't be able to use this workshop for a week.
CREAK-CRACK
The alchemy mannequin didn't stop working. it pressed its hands at the cauldron as if it was manually refining the pills. Then, something magical occurred.
The system informed Leo.
DING
<Alchemy Workshop's Automaton is helping you refine Hope and Dream Pills.>
<Tips: Workshop Automatons can raise the pill's quality and quantity by one tier. Having more than one automaton working on the project at once can decrease the refinement time.>
"Wow."
Leo smacked his forehead. He wished he knew about this feature sooner.
Still, the work here was finished. It was time to bring the mushrooms to the recycling center. Leo turned around to check on Hua Jiashan and the elders next.
"…"
The group of old men stared at the alchemy mannequin in a daze. Their faces and expressions seemed like they had seen a ghost.
"Umm, hello? Houston to Earth?"
Hua Jiashan came back to his senses, but the nasal inhaler stick was still stuck in his nose. He coughed and corrected his demeanor.
"D-Daoist Florida Man. What's with your alchemy techniques? Why are you using your golem to concoct a pill when it's better to do it yourself?"
It was common sense for alchemists to focus on one cauldron at a time as the pill refining and pill-making process required commitment and concentration - A slight distraction could ruin Qi flow in the cauldron, and the materials might be wasted.
However, Leo was like a hipster to this world's common sense. He remotely concocted a batch of pills in a cauldron, then he started another by using a golem. These actions baffled the crowd.
Wu Buyi smacked his chest a few times as his heart couldn't take it. His face flushed, and his blood pressure spiked. The alchemist elder's trembling hand pointed at the golem and the first workshop's cauldron.
"L-Lord Florida Man… Y-You are concocting two sets of pills at the same time?!"
"Oh," Leo shrugged. "What's wrong with that? Actually, in the near future, I might do three at once. Get used to it."
"…"
Wu Buyi stopped moving. A moment later, he stiffly fainted while he stood.
"ELDER WU!"
"ELDER WU BUYI! NOT YOU, TOO!!"
The elders panicked and rushed to Wu Buyi's aid. They fed him herbal pills, hoping to get him back to health.
Leo shook his head and purchased a dozen inhalant sticks. He tossed them to the crowd.
However, Hua Jiashan nimbly waved his hands and collected all of them. He opened one of the sticks and put it in his available nostril.
"…"
The elders and Leo blankly stared at Hua Jiashan. It seemed that the sect master had an addiction issue.
Fortunately, Hua Jiashan passed the rest of the inhalers to the others. Han Hao took one and proceeded to give it to Wu Buyi. The guy slowly came back to his senses and recovered.
Leo sighed and gave up on explaining to them. He minded his business and brought the mushrooms to the recycling center's pool.
.
An hour later, Leo finished taking another bath in the acid pool. He returned to check on the group.
When Leo arrived, he found the gang, staring at the cauldron in a daze. Their eyes shone as they could see through the black pot and inspected the pills inside.
Leo checked the timer.
"Oh, it's finished."
Leo nonchalantly opened the lid, and the pills floated out of the pot. They hovered over the cauldron, emitting a medical scent.
Wu Buyi sat in the middle of the crowd, looking stupid. His unaligned eyes looked like chameleon's eyes, and he drooled like an infant toddler.
"Am I dreaming? How is this possible?"
Han Hao, Han Meng, Tiger Swordsman, and Hua Jiashan were also speechless. They counted the pills to make sure.
One of the elders confirmed the result.
"30 pills. More than half are high grade. Two are superior grade, and 10 are medium grade…"
"Uwee…" Wu Buyi let out a weird noise. His mind was no longer on Earth. He muttered to himself, "60 years of practicing and training? What was the point? Why did I waste so much time on those lousy techniques while a better technique is right in front of me?"
Everybody stared at Wu Buyi. They came to a conclusion.
"I guess he's broken," Han Hao facepalmed as his friend lost it.
Hua Jiashan also coughed to hide his embarrassment, but the two inhalant sticks were still stuck in his nose. He cupped his fist and lowered his head.
"You have opened our eyes and broadened our horizons. Thank you for the lesson."
"Don't mention it," Leo stroked his beard and took the credit even though he didn't do anything.
"Say," Hua Jiashan widely grinned. He confirmed the deal with Leo. "Could I ask you to teach our disciples your concoction techniques?"
Leo had expected this. He shook his head, "Sorry. No."
"I see."
Hua Jiashan also understood why Leo refused. After all, accepting a disciple was a big thing in the cultivation world as it was related to their legacy and Daos. They had to make sure that no outsiders or evil cultivators learn and spread their techniques to the public. Otherwise, their sects, clans, or organizations would lose their purpose.
"But they can watch."
"Oh?" Hearing that Leo permitted the disciples to watch, Hua Jiashan was delighted. "The disciples will be very happy. I bet this idiot is happy, too. Right?"
Hearing Hua Jiashan's words, Wu Buyi came back to his senses. He looked back and forth and repeatedly nodded, "Yes, you're right! But what were you talking about again?"
Everybody: "…"
.
.
After the demonstration, the deal was finalized - The Life Sword Sect's elders returned home happy. Han Hao and Han Meng would be in charge of sending helpers to the store to work here for free. Hua Jiashan ended up paying 100 years of his lifespan to purchase 100 inhalant sticks from Leo. Tiger Swordsman got Leo's permission, and he would send commoners to sell Leo some vegetables and fruits in exchange for spirit stones or essence stones.
As for Wu Buyi, he didn't return home. He groveled in front of the store, begging Leo for something else. The elders didn't bother bringing him along as this guy already lost his mind.
Leo stared at Wu Buyi, who didn't stop kowtowing to Leo. The latter wailed.
"PLEASE TAKE ME AS YOUR DISCIPLE!! TEACH ME, MASTER!!"
"…"
Leo had a headache. He regretted revealing his secrets to Wu Buyi.
