Chapter 64 – Florida Man Jumps into Nuclear Reactor Pool While Filming New Jackass Knockoff Movie
In the workshop, Leo was frustrated. Because of his radiation, the mushroom grew faster than usual, and they started creeping to his legs, trying to devour him whole.
"Damn mushrooms. You dare to eat your creator? You're just livestock!"
Leo had enough. He stopped playing around and exerted 10% of his strength by gripping the biggest mushroom and pulling it.
SWUA
Half of the mushrooms in the building came off in one pull!
Leo didn't stop. His two hands pressed them and molded them like clay mud, turning the mushroom into a giant ball. Despite his attempt, the molded mushrooms extended their branches and released their spores. Little dust got in Leo's nose and mouth. Some of the spores latched onto his face.
"Tsk. I shouldn't have opened the mask to eat you. Anyway, big mistake, dude."
The spores in Leo's nose and mouth instantly died as the radiation was more concentrated than his outer skin. Still, it didn't stop the ball of mushroom from growing.
Getting desperate, Leo thought of the system. He recalled that it mentioned something about the cleaning feature, which Leo hadn't tried yet.
"System, where is the cleaning feature?"
As soon as Leo mentioned the feature, the mannequins stopped working and stared at him. Then, a new system window appeared, showing the shop domain map. On the map, there was a red radar-like highlighted area.
<Please designate the cleaning area.>
<Please noted. Activating the cleaning feature will instantly transfer all items in the designated zone to the recycling center. Half of the items will be lost as a penalty. You can only activate this feature once a day.>
"Err…"
Leo approved and disapproved of this feature. He liked how the system might be useful in this situation, but the system didn't tell him if the mushrooms would be contained after the transfer. He thought of the recycling center's shed, which was on the open field.
'If I use the system, won't the spores spread to the nearby area? There is no freaking wall over there!'
Hesitated and frustrated, Leo pulled back his fingers. Instead of using the feature to remove the mushroom in the building, he touched the wall and summoned the upgrade menu instead.
DING
.
Basic Alchemy Workshop Level 5
Production Quality Level – (4/5)
[Upgrade] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Research New Ingredient]
[Pill Making]
.
Instead of using the feature, Leo wanted to try something new first. He upgraded the workshop to level seven, and he put one upgrade point to the pill quality. As for another point, Leo went against his policy and picked an automaton alchemist.
DING
.
Basic Alchemy Workshop Level 7
Alchemist Automaton (1/5)
Production Quality Level – (5/5)
[Upgrade] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan
[Research New Ingredient]
[Pill Making]
.
A new wooden mannequin rose from the wooden floor. At the same time, the building space expanded and transformed.
From the outside, the workshop became a two-story building like the store. Externally, it remained the same size. However, the interior space of the workshop expanded, working the same way as the general store's dimensional space.
The quality of the walls, floor, and ceiling was also upgraded. The wooden floor changed into a cold concrete floor, and the interior walls were the same. The ceiling, however, was made from plaster tiles, supported by metal frames. There was no ventilation system other than the windows.
As the windows were still closed, Leo was relieved. He turned to the alchemist robot and pointed at the mushrooms.
"Do something about it! Make a pill out of them if you can! You can use the ingredients in the granary and the warehouse!"
The mannequin nodded and walked with a long stride. It raised its arm, and it transformed into a giant cleaver blade. Then, it karate-chopped the mushroom ball that Leo was holding.
SWUA
The mannequin cut the ball in half, but it didn't stop there. It swung its hand horizontally, cutting the ball again. The mushroom wall fell on the ground and was separated into four pieces.
TOK-TOK-TOK
As if the mannequin was cooking, it continued chopping, slicing the mushroom ball into smaller pieces. In addition, the chopped mushrooms stopped multiplying for an unknown reason.
"…"
Seeing how the mannequin had everything under control, Leo stopped idling around. He ordered the recycling workers to continue working and closed the cleaning feature menu. Then, he pulled another section of the mushrooms and compressed them into another big ball. As usual, he tossed it toward the alchemist worker.
The alchemist mannequin caught it and chopped it in half. As soon as the blade cut the mushroom ball, the fungi stopped regenerating.
"I should have done this long ago. Man, I got scared for a moment."
Leo proceeded to help the other workers collect the mushrooms and packed them in the Tupperware boxes. After the first box was full, two of the yellow-jacket mannequins began carrying the box to the recycling center.
Worrying about the outbreak, Leo escorted the mannequins. He closed the door behind him and came out of the building. As soon as Leo came out, Hua Jiashan and the crowd stared at the transparent box, which contained the fully grown mushrooms.
"T-Those blasphemous mushrooms! I-I…"
Hua Jiashan stuttered for a moment. As if his PTSD kicked in, he fainted, and the barrier dome was dispelled. Han Hao and Han Meng rushed in to support the sect master while Tiger Swordsman and others brought out random objects and used them as fans.
"…"
Leo felt a bit guilty. He purchased an inhalant stick from the online system and tossed it toward the group, "Use this! It helps."
Wu Buyi caught it and looked at the tube-like object. He flipped it around as he had never seen this material before.
"Lord Florida Man, sir. What's this?"
Leo didn't bother looking at Wu Buyi and others. He walked into an alley between the two workshops and shouted, "An inhaler stick! Open it and shove it into your elder's nose!"
"…"
Although confused, Wu Buyi flipped the inhalant stick around the object and managed to unscrew the cover. Then, he sniffed at it and caught a pleasant scent of ammonia.
"I see. Indeed, it's an inhalant. But will it work?"
Sometimes, Leo was inconsiderate with his words. Wu Buyi could also be innocently honest and stupidly naïve when he received orders from a senior. As a result, Wu Buyi took the advice word by word.
With his full force, Wu Buyi shoved the stick into Hua Jiashan's nose!
The Life Sword Sect's elders widened their eyes in shock as Wu Buyi's action caught them off guard. They yelled at him, "What the hell, Wu Buyi?! How dare you insult the sect master?!"
"B-But, Lord Florida Man asked me to…" Wu Buyi let go of the stick and took a step back.
The crowd glared at Wu Buyi while the latter sweated profusely. Fortunately, Hua Jiashan recovered fast. He pulled out the stick to look at it.
"I feel better now. Don't be too harsh on him."
"…"
The crowd stopped baring fangs at Wu Buyi. The latter was also relieved that the inhalant stick worked. Meanwhile, Hua Jiashan stared at it for a moment before he put it back into his nose and took a deep breath. Then, he closed his eyes, enjoying the pleasant scent.
The elders blankly stared at the elder in envy. They wondered if the inhalant stick was an exceptional medicine that Leo personally made.
RUMBLE
While the elders were preoccupied with the modern ammonia stick, Cat jumped down from the general store's rooftop and stood menacingly in front of the second alchemy workshop. She opened the door with her roots and inserted her vines into the building.
"Hmm?"
Hua Jiashan stood up in a panic. Although his subordinates had warned him about the monster, he was still stunned when he noticed Cat's constitution and hidden dao avatar.
"Does Daoist Florida Man raises this monster?!"
Han Hao and others found nothing wrong with it, "What about it, sect master?"
"It's exceptionally strong and weird. Wait a second. What is it doing?!"
It was too late for everybody to react. Cat already scooped pieces of mushroom that the alchemy mannequin had chopped, and she threw them into her chomper mouth. She chewed it in glee.
"NOOOO!!"
Hua Jiashan panicked and screamed. A moment later, he fainted again.
"SECT MASTER!"
The crowd was also panicked as the sect master's PTSD was so severe. Even Wu Buyi was helpless as he had no idea why a powerful expert fainted so easily.
.
Meanwhile, Leo observed how the mannequins dealt with the contained mushrooms. They brought the container to the cement pool, which was filled with strange blue water.
The mannequins climbed the edge. They opened the Tupperware's cover and poured the mushrooms into the blue water.
"Wait a minute."
Leo rushed to the pool and looked into the water. Then, he noticed how the water dissolved the mushrooms into dust.
"…"
Leo gulped. He wondered if the blue acid water might be harmful to him. To test things out, he took off his clothes, leaving him with only a naked butt. He then playfully coughed.
"This is Florida Man. Welcome to Jackass!"
Leo sometimes wished that he could have the theme jingle to accompany his actions. Still, as silly as he was, he jumped into the pool.
BOOM
Water splashed everywhere, but none of them hit the mannequins. It was slightly hot but refreshing. Leo felt like he was dipping in a hot spring.
Leo came up to the surface. He laughed and swam as if it was a normal swimming pool. As he hadn't taken a proper shower for almost a month, some dirt came out from the pores of his skin. The water around him changed into a rainbow color.
After a minute of swimming, Leo concluded that the acidic water couldn't do anything to his skin. Even though he accidentally swallowed a mouthful of water, it did nothing to his stomach.
"I guess I now have a personal swimming pool."
While Leo had fun, the drainage at the bottom of the pool sucked in dust and waste from Leo. New blue water also came out from the other bottom hole, refilling the lost water.
DING
Leo hadn't noticed the machine next to the cement pool. It started running, and a long line of belts moved. A few seconds later, blue marble orbs exited the machine, sitting on the running belt. The orb was carried to the end of the belt line and fell into a large empty pool.
DING-DING
The spirit stones rolled on the empty pool and glittered under the sunlight.
