Chapter 146 : A Graceful Lady, The Perfect Match For A Gentleman
Note: The title is from Guan Ju, the Book of Songs. Translated by Yang Xianyi and Gladys Yang: “Gentle and graceful is the girl, A fit wife for the gentlemen.”
Trigger Warning: suicidal ideation.
Jiang Ruan was completely unaware of what had transpired in the Ci Ning Palace. Nonetheless, everything in the world had its own destiny and coincidences were commonplace, and so someone else also had the same idea as Xiao Shao.
In the Commander-in-chief fu, Gu Yi sent a manservant away. He was about to sneak out of the fu himself, and had just reached the courtyard’s gate when he heard a familiar voice. “Yi’er, where are you going?”
Deflated, Gu Yi looked back sheepishly. Sure enough, Gu Furen was behind him. She took a few steps forward and reprimanded him, “Where do you expect to go now that things are so chaotic outside?”
Gu Yi rolled his eyes a few times and came up with an idea. “I…I want to go to the palace and see my biaojie[1].”
[1] 表姐 (biaojie) – older female cousin via female line.
Gu Yi’s biaojie was also a talented woman in the palace. The two cousins had previously been on good terms, but since she had entered the palace Gu Yi hadn’t seen her in a long time.
Gu Furen raised her brows, thinking that this reason was a little far-fetched. “Oh? Going to meet your biaojie? Aren’t you really trying to meet Hong’an Junzhu?”
“Mother…” Gu Yi was worried. “I, regardless of what happens, she and I are friends. I can’t overlook the fact that she’s now in a difficult situation. I am merely attempting to show concern for her.”
Gu Furen looked at him vexedly, hating iron for not becoming steel[2]. “Show your concern for her? We’re now at the height of the storm. Don’t court death. Even if you do, don’t implicate the whole fu. Jiang Xin Zhi’s situation is uncertain. Be cautious, don’t let others pull you into trouble. Our fu is innocent. We can’t get caught up in these things for no reason.”
[2] 恨铁不成钢 (hèntiěbùchénggāng) – lit. disappointed that iron does not turn into steel (idiom) / fig. frustrated with somebody who has failed to meet one’s expectations.
“All I want to do is comfort her. It’s not as complicated as you think.” Gu Yi said anxiously. “Mother, I can’t be a villain who sees which way the wind blows, and then changes course.”
Gu Furen let out a sigh and looked at her obstinate son, unsure whether to be happy or sad. Her son had matured and developed his own ideas, but Gu Furen was fully aware of Gu Yi’s thoughts- that he’d always had Jiang Ruan in his heart. She assumed it was just a passing fancy during childhood, but he still hadn’t given up on it after all these years, which may not be a good thing for Gu Yi.
Gu Yi was delighted to see Gu Furen‘s expression softening and immediately curried favour, “Mother, my aunt and I are going to deliver some items to my biaojie. I’ll be back soon.”
Gu Furen remained silent, indicating her tacit approval. Gu Yi hurriedly instructed the manservant to get the horse ready, then turned around and left the courtyard.
The momo next to Gu Furen asked, “Furen, are you going to let Young Master leave like this?”
“Hong’an Junzhu is a wise person,” Gu Furen said indifferently. “I let him go so that he can put an end to his thoughts.”
* * *
Meanwhile, at the Lord Mayor fu.
A maidservant brought a small goblet of stewed snow pear soup. The sweet soup was boiled to a thick consistency and looked appetizing when served in a glittering and translucent crystal goblet. The maidservant set aside the sweet soup and extended her hand to assist a figure curled up on the soft couch. “Miss, please get up and drink some sweet soup.”
Snow Pear Soup
“No.” With a strong nasal sound and a sob, a feeble voice sounded. The maidservant persuaded the young lady despite her discomfiture. “Miss, don’t worry too much; the situation hasn’t come to light yet, and it might not get much worse; why jeopardize your health?”
This remark seemed to remind the person curled up on the couch of her loss, and her shoulders shook as she cried even more. She sat up slowly after a while, revealing a haggard and pallid face. This young lady was Dong Yinger.
Dong Yinger was dressed in a bisque-coloured jacket, her hair was combed in a simple bun and the remainder of her hair draped messily at the back of her head. Her once agile and lovely beauty was no longer there; she was at the peak of her youth, but at present she appeared rather lifeless with an elderly demeanour. Her eyes were puffy from being soaked in tears for a long time, and the hair that had fallen on both cheeks was clumpy and damp with tears. And yet, her appearance did not make one feel any pity.
She licked her chapped lips and asked, “What time is it now?”
Outside, Dong Daren and Dong Furen were deeply worried. Dong Daren put his teacup on the table and sighed heavily.
“Yinger has no other choice now that it’s over.” Dong Furen’s gaze was unusually firm. “Yinger must have no connection at all with Jiang Xin Zhi. It would be great if Yinger could give up her idea now that this has occurred.”
“Furen,” Dong Daren shook his head. “Yinger appears gentle on the outside but she’s actually quite headstrong. I’m afraid she will do something stupid.”
“You don’t know our daughter as well as I do.” Dong Furen expressed her thoughts. “It’s better to suffer for a short time than having a prolonged agony. It’s better to suffer a broken heart than to spend one’s entire life pursuing the unachievable. Besides, you know best what’s going on in the fu. There is now only one path forward.” She took a firm stance, as though determined. “I’ll go in and persuade her.”
Dong Yinger sat on the couch like a lifeless clay doll. Dong Furen’s heart ached as she entered the room and saw this scene. She waved the maidservant away and sat on the couch, calling out gently. “Yinger.”
Dong Yinger responded after what seemed like an eternity. She turned towards Dong Furen, whose face was very close to hers, and gazed into her loving eyes. All kinds of emotions welled up in her heart at that time. She couldn’t talk after calling out”Mother,” so she leaned on Dong Furen and sobbed bitterly.
Who could have imagined the shock and anguish she felt when she learned that the border had been declared a state of emergency and Jiang Xin Zhi had been defeated and captured? If she wasn’t a boudoir daughter, she might take a trip to the border herself to see what it was like. Dong Yinger was in excruciating pain at the thought of such a brilliant and heroic Deputy General, a charming and handsome man, becoming a lump of yellow soil on the battlefield like countless other soldiers.
Pity the bones littering the banks of the Wu Ding River, they were the very people dreamt of in ladies’ bedchambers[3]. She had not shown her real feelings to him, and he was unaware of her affection, and now just like that they were separated forever. She suffered for Jiang Xin Zhi and was confined inside the fu, but it was all for nought! The saddest thing in the world was that it ended before it could begin.
[3] T/N: poem by Chen Tao, poet of the late Tang dynasty, translation link.
Dong Yinger was obsessed with Jiang Xin Zhi. Therefore, now that Jiang Xin Zhi had ended up like this, how could she not fall apart?
Dong Furen cradled Dong Yinger in her arms and soothed her in the same way she had before. “It’s not your fault; it’s just the will of heaven. Don’t jeopardize your health now that Deputy General Jiang has come to this end. Your elder brother, Mother, and Father all love you dearly. Mother will be upset if you are hurt. Seeing you in pain, Mother’s heart breaks.”
“Mother,” Dong Yinger sobbed, “My heart is in so much pain—”
“Mother understands your heartache.” Dong Furen held Dong Yinger tighter. “How can I not feel pain? You only know that Deputy General Jiang was defeated, but the imperial court’s forces are becoming increasingly complicated. Our family was meant to be impartial, but following Deputy General Jiang’s defeat, the way things were handled in public turned our family into chestnuts in the fire, with everyone wanting a piece. Now your father and elder brother can neither advance or retreat as one negligent step will cost us everything. Why is only our family being burnt in the fire?” She stroked Dong Yinger’s long hair. “If Deputy General Jiang died in battle, it was a well-deserved death, as Generals give their lives on the battlefields. What we’re most terrified about is that he died in a muddled manner.”
Dong Furen’s voice sounded tired and worried. Dong Yinger raised her head. She remained confined to the house these days, and she largely ignored Dong Daren and Dong Furen, as well as what was going on in the fu. How did it come to be that while she was oblivious to all things, the fu had fallen into such a perilous predicament?
She quickly turned to face Dong Furen. With this glance, she noticed something she hadn’t realized before: the previously plump Dong Furen had lost a lot of weight, her brows were filled with sadness, and she appeared haggard. “Mother, what has happened?” Dong Yinger inquired, surprised.
“It has nothing to do with you.” Dong Furen stroked her hair and smiled. “As long as you’re well, Mother will be content.”
Dong Yinger was not convinced. What Dong Furen had just said had sunk deep into her heart. She was originally in love with Jiang Xin Zhi, but whether Jiang Xin Zhi was captured or killed in the war, it was now impossible for her to be with him in this life. Furthermore, there was no going back now that her engagement with the Chang family had been broken off. In any case, there was nothing left to live for. She had believed that death was the only way to escape her heartache, but when she saw Dong Furen, she changed her mind.
The only people in the world who would always be there for her and treat her well was her own family. For Jiang Xin Zhi, she had disobeyed her parents. Given that she had no other desires in this life now, why not fulfill their wish?
“Mother, I will enter the palace,” she said, looking at Dong Furen.
“You…” Dong Furen was stunned for a moment before forcing a smile. “You should get some rest now. After everything that has happened, it is time to focus on getting well first and not thinking about anything else.”
“Mother.” Dong Yinger smiled softly. Something seemed to evaporate from her playful gaze in that single second, replaced with a hint of ice. “Since the fu is experiencing difficulties, Elder Brother and Father must get a foothold in the court; if they are not careful, mistakes will be purposefully discovered for punishment. When I enter the palace, I can seek His Majesty’s protection or at the very least change His Majesty’s attitude toward our Dong family.” She abruptly rose from her seat, knelt before Dong Furen, and humbly kowtowed three times. “Daughter has been disobedient. It was my fault for abandoning Dong fu for my selfish reasons. Please, Mother, allow me the opportunity to make amends. Please allow me to enter the palace.”
Her tone was adamant as if she no longer had a yearning for Jiang Xin Zhi, and even her grief quickly vanished as if she had never fallen in love with a Deputy General named Jiang Xin Zhi.
Dong Furen couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad when she looked at her. All her emotions turned into a long sigh.
Jiang Xin Zhi eventually transformed Dong Yinger into someone completely different and Dong Yinger’s life was rewritten. Her playful and unconstrained youth was now over. Dong Yinger would enter the deep palace and, in the cage entwined with intrigue and power, seek fleeting glory for herself and her family one step at a time.
Dong Daren approached Dong Furen as she was leaving Dong Yinger’s room and asked, “Furen, how’s it going?”
Dong Furen stood silently in front of the Guanyin statue in the hall, slowly closing her eyes. With her hands folded together, a tear quickly spilt out and fell into the incense ash stove.
She could only spend the rest of her life atoning for her sins. The only wish she had was for Dong Yinger to be safe and happy in this life, even if it was an unreasonable wish…
* * *
Jiang Ruan looked up and her gaze shifted to the young man in front of her, as they stood in the garden outside the Gongzhu Hall.
Gu Yi wore a long robe of aqua green sky brocade, with large auspicious clouds embroidered on his chest. His black eyes were fixed on Jiang Ruan, somewhat nervously.
In a trance, she seemed to have returned to the Ling Long Boat from a few years ago where they had first met. The youth was the favoured child of a rich and noble family. To him, life was like the brightly coloured and magnificent peonies in this garden, which drew people’s attention and made them stop to appreciate them.
She had only spoken casually at the time, but things had changed since then. The youth had matured into a young man, yet his eyes appeared to be more sincere than before. His levity had faded a little and he had become more composed, but the way he was gazing at her remained the same.
Jiang Ruan nodded, “Young Master Gu.” She could smile sweetly at those who were malicious, but she could only treat this persistent admirer with coldness.
“Miss Jiang.” Gu Yi could never address her as Hong’an Junzhu. In his heart, Jiang Ruan was still the Jiang family’s Ruan niang when Gu Yi first met her. He was awestruck by her beauty; she was a graceful lady who was the perfect match for a gentleman. Jiang Ruan later accompanied Empress Dowager to the imperial ancestral temple and when she reappeared three years later it was in full glory and splendour, as if a dusty rough jade had finally been unearthed. People found it increasingly difficult to turn away now that she had been carved into an elaborate work of art.
Despite the fact that he was a young master from the Commander-in-chief fu, he should exercise caution in his words and actions. Jiang Ruan was now Hong’an Junzhu, a person who was difficult to meet. Furthermore, Gu Daren had explicitly forbidden him from approaching Jiang Ruan.
However, when the news of Jiang Xin Zhi’s defeat arrived, Gu Yi couldn’t stand it anymore. In his opinion, the outcome of a defeated Deputy General in the imperial court was obvious. Jiang Ruan was in the palace and would be inadvertently pushed to the forefront of the storm. The longer she stayed in the palace, the more dangerous it would be. It was inevitable that she would be implicated by Jiang Xin Zhi.
Gu Yi said, “Miss Jiang, please set your mind at rest about your elder brother’s situation.”
“Thank you for your consolation,” Jiang Ruan answered lightly.
Seeing Jiang Ruan’s attitude, Gu Yi was a little nervous, but as he considered what to say next, he was full of courage. “Miss Jiang, now that Deputy General Jiang’s life and death are uncertain, being in the palace is too risky for you. The situation at the imperial court is chaotic, and since Miss Jiang and Deputy General Jiang are siblings, someone will undoubtedly implicate you as a result of Deputy General Jiang’s incident. This is something that even Empress Dowager cannot account for. I… I have a plan.”
Jiang Ruan’s brows were raised and her lips curved up. “Oh? What plan does Young Master Gu have?”
Gu Yi’s pulse raced a little quicker as she looked at him. He responded, after a little pause. “As long as Miss Jiang gets engaged quickly, you will have nothing to do with the Jiang fu. If someone wants to take advantage of Deputy General Jiang’s situation in the future, Miss Jiang is not of the Jiang fu. Because you will not be held responsible for this, you should be able to escape unscathed.”
“Young Master Gu makes an excellent point.” Jiang Ruan let out a sigh. “But who would be willing to become engaged with me at this time?” She asked, smiling. “It’s too late to escape now.”
“Me!” Gu Yi blurted out. When he saw Jiang Ruan’s expression, he hesitated for a moment before summoning the courage to speak. “I have admired Miss Jiang for a long time. The Commander-in-chief fu can’t be stirred by villains. If Miss Jiang is willing to be engaged to me, I will take good care of you and won’t let you be wronged. With the support of the Commander-in-chief fu, Miss Jiang will never be troubled by false charges.”
Jiang Ruan smiled as she looked at the young man in front of her. The man’s eyes were filled with hope, and his feelings were intense. Even with the title “temptress” haunting her in her previous life, she had never seen such an ardent gaze. It was a pity that Gu Yi met her in this life, and even such a sincere and heartfelt confession could not move her in the slightest.
She lowered her gaze. “I only have one question for Young Master Gu. What did Gu Daren think of it?”
Gu Yi froze. What did his father think of it? His father warned him to stop pining and not set the Commander-in-chief fu on fire over a woman. “I will convince my father,” he said, looking at Jiang Ruan.
Jiang Ruan shook her head. “Gu Daren will not be persuaded by you.” Her tone was gentle. “Thank you for your kindness, Young Master Gu. I’m aware of my awkward situation. How can I marry into the Commander-in-chief fu? I’m afraid that not only Gu Daren but also Gu Furen will not approve of it. Marrying against the wishes of the family will result in an unhappy union. This kindness that Young Master Gu has given me, I will cherish for the rest of my life, however, should you insist on furthering the kind of intentions that would change the status of our current relationship, then let it be known that this is something that I do not desire.”
“Miss Jiang…” Gu Yi was anxious.
“Young Master Gu,” Jiang Ruan interjected, “Young Master Gu is no longer an adolescent. Everything has a cost. Is making the Commander-in-chief fu pay such a high price for me really worth it? You should know that if you marry me, the Commander-in-chief fu will be constantly targeted. The Commander-in-chief’s career will be blocked after advancing to the current position due to a choice made by Young Master Gu, while Gu Furen will be concerned. Is it really worth it just for a woman, Young Master Gu?”
Jiang Ruan’s words rendered Gu Yi speechless. His formerly self-assured thinking couldn’t help but hesitate. Was it really worth it to put the Commander-in-chief fu in such a situation for the sake of a Jiang Ruan?
Jiang Ruan took a step back and smiled as she spoke, “Ruan niang expresses gratitude to Young Master Gu for his remarks here today. Ruan niang will remember such a precious thought. We will still be friends if we meet again in the future. In this life, however, we do not have the fate of companionship.”
Gu Yi’s mouth felt numb and bitter. He was aggrieved. The beautiful woman was close at hand, but the fact was they were separated by a thousand high mountains and ten thousand streams, and it was impossible to be together in this life. Although Gu Yi was impulsive, he had a strong awareness of the merits and drawbacks of this situation. He might not listen if others said this to him. But since this was Jiang Ruan, his beloved, his heart gradually calmed down.
He let out a bitter laugh. “I understand. Do you think it’s possible for us to have a fate together if you’re not the Junzhu and I’m not the young master of the Commander-in-chief fu?”
“There is no such thing as “if” in the world.” Jiang Ruan smiled.
Gu Yi took two steps back, his face filled with undisguised sadness. “There is no such thing as ‘if’.” He shook his head as if he had suddenly matured. His eyes held the entanglement that would cause others to feel a tug in their hearts. He shook his head and walked away. He came to a halt after two steps and said, “I only have one question. Miss Jiang, have you ever had feelings for me?”
“No.” Jiang Ruan smiled in response.
Gu Yi’s body swayed twice. He paused for a moment before striding away.
Seeing Gu Yi’s back disappear, Jiang Ruan lowered her gaze and turned to go back to the Princess Palace. When she turned around, she saw a young man dressed in black with a cold and threatening air looking at her quietly from beneath the osmanthus tree. It was unknown how long he’d been standing there.
