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The Primordial Recordchapter 669: the source of your pain

Andar distracted himself by watching the methods Rowan was using to feed the Light Devourer.

Due to the fact that they were sitting directly on the head of the Eldritch bird, the beast was unable to turn its massive head to receive the meal, but it had stretched forth several massive tentacles from its back, and the tip of those tentacles opened up like a Venus Fly Trap, and Rowan was busy depositing the meat slices inside each tentacle which retreated and a new set quickly returned, from the dull rumbling emanating from the body of the bird, Andar could sense and feel its pleasure.

Rowan chuckled, "This bloodline you are merging with is very fascinating, the gifts it possesses would be practically useless for a creature that lived a simple life patrolling outside the universe, but when merged with a Mage with your gifts, well… I admit, I would like to see the end result and what you would be able to do with its talents that have been merged with yours."

Andar acknowledged his words with a nod, "I know, it's a great gift and I gladly bear every burden it brings."

Rowan looked sideways at him and gave him another slice of meat, Andar quickly noticed that his hunger had returned and he began to feast once more.

"Oh, I nearly forgot, you have one more guest don't you, care to bring him here?"

Andar was confused for a brief moment before he nearly slapped himself, his Cloud Whale. He did not understand what the meat he and the Light Devourer were being fed with but the memory of it was at the edge of his mind, perhaps it was because he was in his Spirit Body that he did not yet understand what it was, but he knew that it was of great benefit to him.

He was on the verge of Ascension to a Mage and he was sure his Creator knew that better than anyone else, whatever he was eating was most likely a great supplement for his Ascension.

His Spirit quested, this process was somehow easier when he was using this body of his and a silver tunnel opened beside the Light Devourer.

A sound emerged from it, Andar recognized the ping from the Cloud Whale as it investigated this new reality, and soon its gigantic form emerged from the tunnel when it felt the familiar presence of Andar.

Rowan's eyes lit up, "Oh, it's a magnificent creature."

With a wave of his hand, the Cloud Whale suddenly shrunk in size and appeared in the arms of Rowan, at first he was seized by fear, his heart beating rapidly, but with a touch from Rowan, the fear in his heart died down, and when a strip of meat was placed in his mouth, he forgot the fear and became a glutton.

Rowan smiled and rubbed the head of the Cloud Whale, his touch bringing about changes that Andar did not detect. The Cloud Whale shivered in his arms, all four of his eyes closed in bliss.

"Tell me about your life Andar, for more than a decade my mind has been on other… things and I want to listen to your story. Take your time, we have all the time in the world."

Andar paused, not knowing where to start, he began tentatively speaking about the Body Farm, the Limits Breakers, about… Mira, and soon he transitioned into his studies with all the Archmages, and like a gate breaking apart by a heavy flood, words began to pour out of his mouth faster and faster.

Rowan was a careful listener, he hardly interrupted except to ask for more clarification, and each time he did Andar beamed in excitement because every question asked or observation noted, pointed at a separate way of understanding his life experience that he had not considered before.

Andar found this rapport to be deeply freeing, the many strains that had been unconsciously building inside his heart for these decades began to wash away. 'It is a great thing,' he thought, 'to be able to speak with your Creator, after all, who else could understand you more?'

He had talked for hours and yet it felt like only mere minutes had gone by. Inevitably though the topic turned towards his Ascension and the struggles he faced as an Acolyte using the Endless Vault Meditation Art. he told Rowan about the pain, the endless wave of pain that came from using this Meditation Art.

He had never told anyone else about this pain, because it always felt very personal, a core of himself that he could not expose to the outside, but with his creator, everything came naturally.

Rowan interrupted him here, his voice like a captivating spell, "And yet, you are here now, but you no longer feel pain."

Andar paused and he quickly realized the truth of that statement, part of the reason he had been so free and excited was that he was no longer feeling the ever-present pain in every single cell in his body, and although he knew that this form was not his real body as it was created from his Spirit, it was still a perfect Replica.

It was amazing how much of his Mental Power was tied up in managing his pain, and Andar wondered if he did not feel this ever-present pain from his Meditation Art, how powerful could he be? How many percentage of his Spirit was actually spent managing his pain?

Rowan sighed, "Remember back to the time you began climbing the road to power and immortality, during your Trials to select the Meditation Art that would make you an Acolyte. At that time you made certain decisions that would serve as the foundations to shape your future. I originally wanted to interfere but that would mean pushing you away from a path that was uniquely yours, something even I would not be able to control."

He paused before continuing to speak to the shocked Andar, "The reason you can feel this pain is because your first association with power was pain, and until you learn to let go and accept yourself as worthy of your own power, that pain will ever be by your side… just like this!"

Rowan snapped his fingers and Andar nearly bit his tongue as his body went into a seizure, endless waves of familiar pain bombarding every cell in his body, before he could marshall his senses to take control of the pain, it vanished once Rowan snapped his fingers again.

Andar went silent, aware that he had been given a great gift of enlightenment, while Rowan words were simple it hit on the core of his character.