Chapter 91 – Florida Man Tames Unicorn by Smashing
Wu Buyi no longer had time to cultivate as Leo gave him a lot of work to do. Still, he was happy that he served a strong master, and he got boons from it.
After storing the monster corpses in his spatial ring, Wu Buyi had some questions in his mind. He wondered why Leo never used his spatial ring.
"Senior. I have a question. Could you enlighten me?"
"What is it?"
While listening to Wu Buyi, Leo vanished as he suddenly kicked the ground and went somewhere. Two seconds later, he returned with two more living cockatrices in his hands. He broke their necks and pulled their beaks from their heads. Then, he used the beaks to cut open their stomachs and behead them to drain their blood.
Guts and blood fell to the ground and messed up some of their feathers. Leo ignored the dirty blood and plucked their feathers. As usual, their monster cores fell from their bodies.
Wu Buyi gulped as he kept getting surprised by Leo's antics and weirdness. He mustered his courage and asked.
"My lord. Why don't you use your spatial ring to store the beasts or the treasures? It's faster to store the carcasses into your ring than running around and bringing them to me."
Leo deeply sighed. He wanted to use it too, but he always broke the ring whenever he rubbed them. Since he hated lying and pretending, Leo spoke the truth.
"Truth be told, I can't use the rings."
"Huh?!" Wu Buyi was shocked, "Why? What happened to you, my lord?! You're an immortal, so using a simple spatial ring shouldn't be an issue."
Leo paused from work. He rested his hands on his waists and deeply sighed.
"You see, Wu Buyi. This world's rings are too fragile. Whenever I tried to use them, they broke."
"…"
"The last time I tried, all items burst out and flooded my store. It took me a day to clean everything."
Again, Wu Buyi was astonished. He believed he figured out Leo's trouble.
'I see. Because his Qi is too strong, any mortal spatial ring will break upon touch. No mortal-made spatial rings can handle his power! This must be it!'
Wu Buyi brightly smiled, "I understand, my lord. Our world's spatial rings are indeed too weak for someone with your status. Since you can't use them, I'll help you sort and collect your items!"
The alchemist had an ulterior motive. If he could act as Leo's spatial ring carrier, he could snoop on Leo's precious items and rare collections.
While Wu Buyi fantasized about his sweet future, a rare water sound came from behind. It sounded like someone had been scooping and slashing water. He turned around to see.
"Hmm?"
A three-meter-tall white unicorn was charging toward them. It neighed and showed its teeth.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
Wu Buyi panicked. He grabbed Gao Yan and leaped out of the horse's way.
The massive unicorn glanced at both men and ignored them. It turned its attention to Leo, who hadn't noticed its arrival yet. The horse smiled and lowered its head, charging toward him.
"MY LORD, WATCH OUT!" Wu Buyi screamed.
"Ah?"
Leo only heard the voice of Wu Buyi. Then, a large shadow loomed, blocking the ray of sunlight. He turned around and found a white unicorn, raising its front hooves and waving them.
BOOM
The horse slammed its front hooves on the ground. Then, it leaned its head forward to nudge Leo's chest. It sniffed him and raised its head to lick his face.
Getting a surprised lick by a weird pony, Leo was taken aback, "Wut da hail?"
Leo looked up and found the long horn and a massive horse. He frowned for a moment as he wondered if he should get rid of the horse. However, as the horse did nothing but lick his face, Leo rolled his eyes.
"Wu Buyi."
"Yes, my lord?"
"What the hell is this… stupid donkey?"
"Donkey?!"
Wu Buyi awkwardly smiled as Leo wrongly nicknamed a mythical creature a donkey. The horse also stopped licking Leo to stare at his face.
Leo looked into the unicorn's eyes. He waited for the beast to mutate and die. However, after 10 seconds, it didn't show any symptom of mutation.
"Well? What is this donkey, Wu Buyi?"
Wu Buy came back to his senses and coughed. He glanced at Gao Yan, who sweated profusely after the commotion. Because Wu Buyi interrupted his cultivation midway, his Qi was on a rampage, and he needed help.
Because of the chaos, Wu Buyi half-heartedly answered while he rushed to help Gao Yan stabilize his Qi.
"That's a unicorn, my lord. It's a mythical beast."
Leo rolled his eyes, "I know. I want to know why it is licking me. I don't remember raising a goddamn pony!"
Wu Buyi didn't answer as he no longer listened to Leo. He poured his Qi into Gao Yan's back and drove away bad wood element Qi inside his disciple's body.
Noticing that Wu Buyi got busy, Leo smacked his lips and stared at the troublemaking animal.
"You. What are you?"
*NEIGH*
.
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East of Leo's Location, the Mysterious Pagoda
Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei left the crowd and climbed the tower together. As they went up, they discovered that the Qi pressure on each floor got heavier.
"Ah, the Qi compatibility trial. This brings me back," Dongfang Mei giggled.
Hua Jiashan nodded, "Indeed. I miss the days when our world still has one of these towers. It's a shame that the Myriad Pagoda got destroyed because of Situ Nantian's heavenly tribulation back then."
"It can't be helped. He forcefully broke through and drew the heavenly lightning bolts toward the Sweet Dream Mushroom's lair. Without his lightning bolts, the mainland would have been overrun by those Jiangshis."
Hua Jiashan bitterly smiled. He continued to push Dongfang Mei's wheelchair to the upper floors.
After 20 minutes of climbing, they reached the 50 floor. However, instead of finding a blank floor with nothing but a staircase on the other side of the room, they found a large unicorn statue.
"A unicorn?" Dongfang Mei raised her eyebrows in amusement.
"This is going to be bad for your disciples, isn't it?"
"That depends," Dongfang Mei almost burst into laughter. She remembered an event when she was young, "Say, do you remember Elder Tang Tian when we were outer disciples of the old sword saint Sect?"
"Elder Tang? Oh right!" Hua Jiashan laughed as he recalled the weird incident when they were on the same team during a mystic realm expedition.
There was a hilarious moment when they first encountered a unicorn for the first time. At that time, the 9th stage got attached to Tang Tian and followed him around. At first, they had no idea why the beast was attracted to him.
But when Situ Nantian, Yan Xiang, and the other elders found them, everybody learned a weird fact about unicorns.
Female unicorns hated everything. Usually, they attacked everything that wasn't a part of their species. Male unicorns were a lot more docile, but they always avoided cultivators. However, there was an exception.
Unicorns loved virgin cultivators, especially the old cultivators. As virgin cultivators either gathered a lot of virgin yin or virgin yang element essence in their bodies, the unicorns, who primarily cultivated the energy, were naturally attracted to them.
Female unicorns went for male cultivators. Vice versa, male unicorns loved virgin women. Sometimes, male unicorns got attached to male cultivators, causing multiple hilarious scenarios. One of them was when Tang Tian got pushed down by a horny horse.
Remembering the scenes, both Hua Jiashan and Dongfang Mei could no longer hold their mouth. They cackled and cried laughing.
"Oh, dear. That was funny back then. I thought I would have died from laughter when Elder Situ revealed the nature of the unicorns."
"Me, too. Elder Tang Tian went into seclusion for a year after the incident. I can't just forget that."
The duo continued climbing the pagoda while they chatted, reminiscing the past when they were young. They mimicked the obnoxious unicorn that Tang Tian had tamed.
"SMASH!"
"Hahaha! That's right. Smash!"
.
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One hour after the encounter, Leo stared at the obnoxious male horse, who was smiling and showing his teeth. Leo complained as he remembered a scene from a movie.
"Wu Buyi, are you available yet?"
Wu Buyi glanced at Leo while he continued to pour his Qi into Gao Yan's body. As Gao Yan got better, he looked up, "Yes, my lord?"
"Say, are unicorns attracted to virgins?"
"Ah, that. I don't know. I've never studied deeply about monster beasts or mythical creatures. Why?"
"Never mind."
Leo facepalmed. A movie scene dialogue echoed in his mind.
'Unicorns are drawn to children and those who are of pure of body… untouched by women.'
The dialogue repeated as if it was mocking him. He was mad and offended.
Because of his bad mood, Leo pushed the horse's face away. He lightly jumped and sat on the unicorn's back.
"Fine. If you like me that much, I'll ride you. Now, I'm a very busy man, and I don't like useless subordinates. If you want to follow me, you must follow my orders from now on, alright?"
*NEIGH*
The unicorn shook his head and smiled again. Although smiling was nice and wholesome, a horse's smile could be creepy.
Again, Leo gave up on the horse. He slapped the back of the unicorn's neck, "At least you neigh like a horse, unlike that damn plant. Anyway, I can tell that you're smart. Can you speak a human language?"
It wasn't hurt to ask. He tested the horse if it could speak.
The unicorn paused for a moment. His throat moved slightly as he mimicked a human's language. However, he could only speak one word.
"SMASH!"
"…"
Wu Buyi and Leo blankly stared at the horse. They had a bad premonition about this.
