Chapter 88 – Florida Man Practices Entomophagy While Touring Amazon Jungle, Gets Bitten by Amazonian Wasps, Tarantula, Black Caiman, and Snakes
Before the fallout apocalypse, alligators were one of many exotic pets that Floridians could own. Leo also used to have a license for keeping a few alligators in his backyard. He loved feeding and toying with these guys as he found them cute regardless of their sizes.
Caimans were different from Florida alligators. Their perky eyes were higher, and their jaws were broader but shorter than alligators. Because of their smaller mouth, their bite strength was incomparable to crocodiles and alligators.
However, black caimans were another story. They were the biggest water monsters among all caimans, which could grow longer than four meters.
Moreover, the guy in the river doubled that size. It had four eyes and a forehead horn as if it cosplayed a unicorn. The sharp fangs and strong jaws also managed to dent Leo's skin by half a centimeter.
ZAAAAA
The caiman's hunting method was similar to other alligators and crocodiles. As soon as it caught Leo's arm, it tried to pull him into the river. However, it failed to move the old man.
Realizing that it failed its first attempt, the black caiman initiated the barrel-roll maneuver, trying to twist Leo's arm off.
CRACK
Unfortunately, what came off was a few of its teeth. Its other fangs also slipped off, and it let go of his arm.
"…"
Leo watched how the cute guy try to eat him. He shook his head and glanced at the contaminated water. Then, he deeply sighed.
"Shame. I wish I could catch you alive. Well, RIP ecology. This entire river is doomed."
Leo pulled up the last cockatrice and threw it to Wu Buyi. He then took off his clothes and jumped into the river to fetch the croc.
The water was clear and transparent. Leo opened his eyes underwater and gazed at the caiman, who seemed indifferent after touching Leo's skin. He crossed his arms and waited for it to mutate.
Betraying Leo's expectation, the caiman regrew its fangs. Moreover, instead of dying because of his radiation, the caiman's scales seemed bigger, and its horn shone. Its four eyes reddened, and they began gathering element essence in the water.
PU-PU
"Hmm?"
Leo looked at his arms as something small and sharp hit his arms again. However, upon looking at the arms, Leo saw nothing but traces of bullets in the water.
"Oh?"
He finally realized that the caiman hit him with invisible water bullets, but they caused no damage.
The attack didn't stop there. The caiman screeched underwater. Then, the horn emitted a strong electric blast and zapped Leo.
BZZZ
Small branches of yellowish static electricity and flashing light around the caiman caused the water to ripple into a small circle wave. The shockwave directly hit Leo and numbed his skin. His hair was also slightly curled because of the electric shock.
The corner of Leo's mouth curved down. Not only this caiman resisted the mutation, but it also benefited from the radiation. It reminded Leo of the monsters on Earth, which became so strong because of the nuclear fallout and natural radiation.
Moreover, the electric shock earlier had the same strength as the yellow lightning bolts that Leo had experienced during his fourth mutation. Because of it, Leo suffered through countless curses and status ailments until his cancer cells became immune to every condition.
As the caiman reminded him of something unpleasant, Leo stopped messing around. He lightly snorted and leaned his body forward. The next second, he jetted through the water at Mach 5, ramming the caiman.
BOOM
The river exploded, and the caiman was sent flying from the river to the sky.
BOOM
Leo also jumped out and caught the caiman's leg. Floating in the sky, he delivered a normal punch to its chest.
BOOM
The punch instantly blasted the caiman's thick skin and the innards through the back, leaving a gaping hole. However, the hole was too large. It separated the head and the lower torso of the caiman.
Because of the momentum, Leo ended up leaping several kilometers away from the river. He used this opportunity to look around him to scout the geography of this place.
To the north, there was a pyramid in the middle of the jungle. To the east, a town of skyscraping pagodas stood out from the rest. In the south, there was nothing worthwhile except the massive river that flowed to the sea. As for the west, a series of dildo-like mountains stood tall, penetrating the clouds in the sky.
Although many landmarks attracted Leo, they were at least 100 kilometers away. Leo could barely see them on the horizon.
WHOOSH
Leo soon descended and landed on the soft ground. The caiman's lower abdomen carcass also fell nearby. Not wasting his food, Leo rushed to pick up his game.
SSSSAAK
Leo had no idea what he had stepped on, but he sensed several small mouths on his legs. He looked down and found five colorful snakes latching on his ankles and shins. As they could do nothing to him, he shrugged and ignored them.
Every step Leo took turned the lush green jungle black. Plants, grass, bushes, trees, and small animals received his blessing and mutated at a rapid rate.
After 10 seconds of pushing through the high bushes, Leo found the caiman's corpse. He picked it up and carried it on his shoulder.
DOK-DOK
Something fell from the wound of the caiman. A hard ball landed on the tip of his right foot's fingers, and Leo flinched. The object was hard. Although it caused him no damage, it reminded him of the greatest pain when he was a human.
Leo crouched and looked at the object. He found a red orb, which was the same size as an apple. He picked it up and brought it with him, hoping that Wu Buyi could identify it.
BOOM
Once again, Leo kicked the ground and leaped to the sky. His destination was the previously cleared land. Unfortunately, he used too much strength, and he flew over the campsite.
While flying in the sky, Leo shouted at Wu Buyi.
"WU BUYI, CATCH!"
Leo threw the caiman's corpse and the apple-sized orb to the ground. Then, he waved his hand at the alchemist.
Wu Buyi looked up in confusion. When the corpse smashed to the ground five meters away from him, his brain finally registered the instruction. He widened his eyes and inspected the monster's carcass.
As soon as Wu Buyi noticed the orb, he rushed toward it and measured its strength. He was soon stunned.
"A 9th-stage monster core?! I-Isn't this monster comparable to immortals?!"
.
After handing the corpse to Wu Buyi, Leo looked forward and calculated his landing. He also gazed at the mysterious pyramid from a distance.
'Should I head there now? But there are so many beasts and fast food in the jungle. I can't just leave that precious food alone.'
As greedy as he was, Leo postponed the Indiana Jones project to another date. He landed two kilometers north of his campsite. Then, he turned around, scanning through the jungle for life signatures of mammal creatures and big monsters.
As usual, Leo picked up a hundred life signatures of wild cockatrices. He also found over a thousand 1-meter tall wasps as there was a massive hive 100 meters away.
Leo rubbed his hands as he found them not challenging. He turned his attention to the wasps first as it was always fun to poke a wasp nest. When Leo was on Earth, he destroyed six mutated hornet nests for fun, and he got over a million years of lifespan from eating their nests and the hornets.
He skipped and danced while he mutated the surrounding ecology as usual. A minute later, he reached the three-meter-tall wasp nest.
Looking at the Nope-Hill, Leo wondered how many sane humans would summon Hans after seeing such a large natural architecture and long-legged stingers.
BUZZ
As if the wasps noticed Leo's presence, they rushed out of the nest and swarmed him. Their barbed long legs latched on him while a dozen long needles came for his face, neck, chest, and back.
"…"
The stingers failed to penetrate into his skin. Leo widely grinned and grabbed one of them. Without batting an eye, he shoved its head into his mouth!
CHOMP
CRUNCH
Ozzy would be proud of him. Leo tore the wasp's head in one bite, and he started chewing it in glee. He didn't even wait for them to mutate.
DING
<Your lifespan has increased by 10 years…>
It was worth every bite. In just one mouthful of the wasp's nasty head, Leo gained 10 years of lifespan.
Looking at the system message, Leo nodded in approval. He commented, "Bugs, bees, and insects are rich in protein, indeed. Now, where's the queen? I should domesticate it so that it can breed more wasps for me to eat."
The wasps looked confused as they thought that Leo was supposed to be their food. However, he nonchalantly ate one of them, and he was unaffected by the stingers. The male wasps also looked at their tail and found that their stingers failed to penetrate Leo's skin. As a result, they worked harder, poking and ramming their butt against him.
The trend continued for one hour. Leo managed to finish the first wasp and burped. Although the taste was disgusting, Leo gained 500 years of lifespan by eating one.
That was not all. Leo found another apple-sized red orb. This time, he ate it and discovered something pleasantly surprising.
<You have eaten a 7th-stage monster core.>
<Your lifespan has increased by 500 years…>
"HOLY ALLIGATOR! I'll freaking do it again!"
Getting 1,000 years of lifespan by just eating a wasp was too good to be true. Leo grabbed another wasp and twisted it in half, planning to eat more.
CRACK
"Hmm?"
Strangely, Leo didn't feel any resistance feedback from the insect. Confused, Leo checked the swarm.
PLOP
The wasps turned stiff and stopped moving. Their former yellowish skin turned black, and murky fluid came out from their butts.
Leo pursed his lips and shrugged. He assumed that the wasps got their DNA modified, and they died because of failed mutation. Since these creatures died too soon, Leo picked the NOPE creatures on his shoulder as he planned to bring them back to the camp.
While Leo was busy stacking the corpses on his shoulder, several trees behind him fell. Then, a two-meter-tall eight-leg creature jumped out of the shade and bit Leo's neck.
Behind Leo, a black hairy tarantula spat green liquid on him. It also injected yellowish Qi into his body.
Leo sensed the weird energy flow entering his body. He slightly shook his head as he recognized it.
"Another yellow lightning user? You know, you've ruined the mood."
Leo raised his arms and grabbed the long fangs of the giant tarantula. He twisted them and pulled the fangs out.
SCREECH!
The tarantula screeched in pain. The next second, she regenerated her lost teeth and ran away.
Leo turned around and frowned. He started counting time in his mind.
'Two… three…four…'
After ten seconds, Leo rescanned the perimeter, checking the life signature of the tarantula earlier – It was still moving, and it sprinted toward the north at Mach speed.
"So, some creatures are immune to my radiation. Now, this is interesting."
Although disappointed, Leo learned something new. He began to have fun as this mystic realm reminded him a lot of the nuclear fallout world – All creatures were immune to radiation, but they provided a lot of lifespans if Leo could eat them.
"Which cookbook should I buy? I doubt Gordon Ramsey knows how to cook spiders and wasps. I should check the Southeast Asia culinary books. They eat grasshoppers and centipedes, so they should know how to cook those, right?"
