Chapter 54 – Florida Man Threatens to Cut Cat's Legs for Food
DING
<Current Lifespan: 6,007 Years, 11 Months, 2 Days, 13 Hours, 26 Minutes.>
Leo grumbled as his lifespan wasn't enough to purchase the auto-speech feature. He needed 14,000 more. However, he had enough to upgrade his store to level six.
He could upgrade the store to level 6 right now, but there was nothing to gain other than expanding the store's interior space.
"Meh, what the hell."
Leo chose to save up his lifespan for the language. After all, 20,000 years of lifespan was harder to collect.
DING
While Leo was in deep thought, the cauldrons finished making two batches of yang flame dans. Leo wasted no time and tossed a white flower into the pot and pressed the research button.
DING
<You have discovered Immortal Flower.>
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Immortal Flower
Can only be found on matured immortal grasses. It contained a thick amount of life force and five element Qi. However, it is not suitable to be consumed raw as it contains poisonous pores. Can be refined into True Immortal Pill, which can instantly unlock the potential of any cultivator.
Alchemy Recipe – True Immortal Pill
10 Immortal Flowers
100 Blades of Immortal Grass
10 Fire Element Catalyst
10 Water Element Catalyst
10 Wood Element Catalyst
10 Earth Element Catalyst
10 Poison Element Catalyst
10 Yang Element Catalyst or one liter of Yang Fluid
10 Yin Element Catalyst or one liter of Yin Fluid
Fire, Water, Metal, Earth, Wood, Yang, and Yin Essence
.
This one was unusual. Other pills and alchemy recipes only required one main ingredient and a few miscellaneous items, but this recipe asked for 10 of each catalyst and main ingredient. Moreover, it demanded 100 blades of immortal grass.
"Yang Element and Yin Element? This is new."
From a glance, this recipe seemed difficult, but Leo believed that he might have enough ingredients. He wondered if yin liquid could be used as a yin catalyst. Testing the possibilities, Leo brought a bucket of Ouyang Ting's blood to the workshop and researched it one more time.
DING
<You have already discovered Yin Fluid.>
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Yin Fluid
Can be found in a monster's blood or a demon's blood. Alchemists usually dilute their blood in freshwater to increase the yin fluid quantity. Consuming it raw can be dangerous as it can mutate ordinary cultivators into fiendish cultivators. Can be used as a substitute for Yin Catalysts in alchemy.
Traits
Increase Yin Qi by one year's worth of cultivation (100cc) (Consumption)
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Leo had almost ingredients. However, the issue was the yang fluid or yang catalyst. Leo remembered that he had potatoes that could be used as yang catalysts, so he turned around and was about to go check the granary.
While looking around, his eyes noticed the broken earth jar that he had been using to store fresh water from the stream. Leo massaged his forehead, suppressing his anger.
'That damn plant did it again. Can't she just behave like a normal plant?!'
Leo deeply sighed. He spent two years, purchasing a 100-liter earth jar from the system store and replacing the broken one. As for the broken pieces, Leo crushed them into small fragments so that he could use them to decorate his front yard.
While Leo tidied the field, he finally came to a realization. He wondered if his bathing water could be researched.
Putting his theory to the test, Leo grabbed the giant jar and dashed toward the stream. He scooped the water using the container until it was 70% full. Then, he ran back to the store with the freshwater and some small fish inside.
BOOM
Leo put the jar near the alchemy workshop. He took off his clothes and jumped into the large jar.
ZAAA
As soon as Leo got in the water, the transparent liquid became green, and the fish floated on top of the water. He glanced at the small fish and picked them up. Like a professional basketball player, he threw one into the first alchemy cauldron.
PLOP
It went in. Leo immediately researched the fish, hoping to get something useful.
DING
<You have discovered poisonous fish.>
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Poisonous Fish
This fish is long dead. Cannot be used in alchemy or consumption. Please throw it away.
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Unfortunately, it was useless. Leo discarded the rest of the fish in the jar. Then, he scooped a handful of water and got out of the unlikely bathtub. He put the content into the cauldron and researched it.
DING
<You have discovered Pinnacle-Grade Holy Water.>
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Pinnacle-Grade Holy Water
Can be found in Unicorn's blood or an angel's blood. It is one of the most precious alchemy ingredients because of its rarity and usefulness in various high-ranked pills.
Traits
Either kill or bless anyone that touches the water. Not recommended for consumption.
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"… I was hoping for Yang Fluid. Why the hell does it turn out to be the holy water?!"
Leo never felt this blessed in his life. He wondered if his body was made of god's blood or something.
As Leo had all ingredients at hand, he began putting stuff into the first alchemy cauldron.
10 Immortal Flowers – Checked.
100 Blades of Immortal Grass – Checked.
Yin Fluid – Easy! Checked.
Yang Fluid – Simple! Checked.
Fire Catalyst?
Leo tilted his head for a moment. Then, he smacked his forehead. He had been making Yang Flame Pills using Fiery Yang Tomatoes, Virgin Yang Potatoes, and the fire catalyst that Leo got from fruits.
He gazed at the basket near the cauldron and the tomatoes. It was full of red oranges
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Tiger Killing Orange
Can be found in volcanic mystic realms. It produces great aroma and burning hot air. Rumor said that it can be used to make a delicacy drink. Can be used as a substitute for Fire Element Catalyst in alchemy.
Trait
Very delicious
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These oranges were among the mutated fruits that Leo had gotten from Wu Buyi. Unfortunately, it could only be used as a catalyst, so Leo hadn't been using it much until he got the tomatoes.
Leo continued his checklist.
Water Catalysts – Bloodmelons, Checked.
Earth Catalysts – Golden Bananas, Checked.
Metal Catalysts – Iron Tree Barks, Checked.
Wood Catalysts…
Where are Cat's roots?
Leo paused. He turned around and dashed toward the granary. Upon entering the building, Leo found Cat, who was busy eating potatoes.
Cat shrank in fear. She hissed at Leo, warning him not to punish her.
Leo widely grinned. He rubbed his hands and glanced at her long roots.
"Listen here, Cat. I need a portion of your roots for alchemy. Can I get some?"
HISS!
Noticing Leo's strange expression and malicious aura, Cat climbed the building and latched onto the ceiling, hissing at him.
Leo deeply sighed, "I just want 10 pieces of your roots. What's the big deal? You ate a lot of my food, but I only want something that you will eventually discard. Why resisting?"
HISS!
"…"
Leo pursed his lips. Since Cat refused to cooperate, he could only return to his workshop to look for another alternative. He was not shameless enough to forcefully cut her roots and get the necessary ingredients.
He turned to another corner of the granary, which stored a hundred baskets of other fruits and vegetables that Leo hadn't used yet. He grabbed an item, which continuously emitted brown gas.
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Weeping Onion
Can be found in a mystic realm with dense earth miasma. It produces brown tear gas to protect itself. Can be used as an earth element catalyst in alchemy.
Trait
Produce deadly tear gas.
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Leo always avoided it as it smelled, and the gas made his eyes itchy. Even Cat avoided them.
He picked 20 of the onions and brought them back to the alchemy workshop. He put 10 in the pots, completing the last set of ingredients. After spitting a few times into the fireplace, Leo completed feeding the workshop some essence.
DING
<Refining True Immortal Pills…>
167 Hours, 59 Minutes, 57 Seconds…
Leo almost cursed out loud. This pill needed a whole week to complete!
Because of the long refining time, Leo aborted the plan to make another batch of True Immortal Pills. He put in ingredients to make rejuvenate tea instead as he needed one active workshop to make some goodies to sell.
Leo grumbled and brought the prepared ingredients back to the granary. He put everything in its place and looked at the ceiling, gazing at Cat.
Cat was still paranoid. Even though she was at fault, she was still behaving like a spoiled brat.
"Alright. I guess I didn't educate you enough. Come down here, Cat!"
HISS!
Even though Leo no longer wished to harm or cut her roots, Cat was still afraid of him. She kept crawling and running on the ceiling.
As Cat started to get on his nerve, Leo warned her, "If you don't come down here, I'll go and grab you myself. And if I catch you, you'll get some spanking, okay? Will you come down obediently and work with me, or will you be forced to work and get spanked? Choose one."
"Meow…"
Cat was smart. Upon noticing Leo's voice tone, she paused to contemplate the pros and cons. A few seconds later, she crawled down and approached Leo.
MLEM
Trying to reduce her penalties, Cat licked his face. She also tried to kiss him, but her chomper mouth ended up sucking his head in her mouth instead.
"…"
CHU-CHU
Leo's entire head was wet and smelly. He patiently pulled his head out and gently pinched her lips.
"Cat. We have to talk, okay? I've been feeding you a lot of things. It's about time that I need your lifespan again."
"Meow?"
Leo opened her lifespan status, checking her balance.
