Chapter 307 – Florida Man Purposely Orders a Barrel of Chicken Instead of a Bucket to Spread the Dao of Florida
Tang San and his mentor met six months ago.
The master's name was Kishin Douji. He was the famous overlord of the Oni race, and he was Mao Miaomiao's sworn brother.
Several months ago after Mao Miaomiao died, Kishin Douji mobilized his force to protect the devil race that Mao Miaomiao had created. Predicting that Eleanor might use this opportunity to overtake their home planets, they prepared for a preemptive strike from the DEZNUTS council.
Fate took a turn when the invader was not from Eleanor's forces but the Fate Stadium. Sieg personally visited them and tried to steal Kishin Douji's fate crystals.
A karmic sovereign like Kishin was not the transcendent being's match. His physical body was destroyed, and his soul was damaged. Fortunately, he managed to escape from the eyeball.
After the escape, his soul wandered the universe, and he stumbled upon Mao Miaomiao's karma. He followed the trace and found the planet of the Yan Empire.
As Kishin cultivated Yin, his soul entered the world and chose the northern region of the continent. As his soul required a container to recuperate, he picked a rusty spatial ring in the middle of a frozen river as a host. Then, he hid there.
It didn't take long for someone to pick it up.
A month later, Tang San fought with young cultivators from another clan. It was a desperate battle between a fledgling muscles tempering realm cultivator against five Qi condensation realm cultivators.
Kishin overheard their mockery. It appeared that Tang San's fiance had just broken the engagement with him to marry a prominent young master from the other continent. Then, the subordinates of the young master tried to dispose of him out of spite.
Tang San lost the fight and was thrown into the river, where he found the ring.
After witnessing everything, Kishin thought of possessing Tang San's body. However, he pitied him and used his last bits of Qi to save his life. Then, the two got to talk.
Kishin quickly learned of Tang San's complications. It turned out that Tang San had a unique constitution and dantian compatible with every type of Qi and essence. Because of the combination of Qi, his dantian was larger than everybody else by a thousand times. Therefore, Tang San's cultivation speed and development were slower than the others of his age.
In short, a 19-year-old who could not advance to the second stage was considered talentless in other people's eyes.
Kishin adopted Tang San as a disciple. He taught the young man the cultivation method of the Oni Clan. Then, the disciple didn't disappoint him. Within two months, his cultivation base shot up from the first stage to the 9th-stage.
The blizzard, the changing atmosphere, and the overwhelming Qi in the environment played a big part in the ascension.
But then, the weather of this world changed for the worse. The northern continent that Tang San's fiance had migrated into became a death zone as everybody was frozen to death. Even Tang San and his clansmen couldn't bear living there anymore. They migrated south. Then, they found Leo's domain.
.
Inside the shopping complex, bright yellowish light illuminated everything. After getting in, Wu Buyi and Tang San found Qiang Qiang's fountain statue in the lobby area. Nearby, a reception counter and a map were there, providing the new guests information.
Tang San was attracted to Qiang Qiang's statue. He walked toward her and drooled.
"Wow. This statue is so realistic and fine! I bet the artisan behind this is a master! Senior, do you know who made this statue?"
Wu Buyi held back his laughter, "You don't wanna know."
"Why?! Please tell me-"
Suddenly, Tang San flinched. A voice entered his mind and interrupted his words. Kishin warned him.
'That is not a man-made statue, disciple. That's a sentient golem, and she's a deity at that. Mind your manner. This place is not simple!'
Tang San shut his mouth. He gazed at Qiang Qiang's face again and noticed that she slowly looked back at him. Nervous and afraid, Tang San awkwardly saluted.
"H-Hi, senior. P-Please forgive my remarks earlier."
Qiang Qiang snorted and resumed her original posture, pretending to be a normal statue.
After getting ignored, Tang San wiped his face with his handkerchief. He let out a sigh of relief.
Seeing their interaction, Wu Buyi was surprised, "You caught on quickly. I thought for sure that you gonna get smacked for flirting with her."
Tang San almost cried, "Senior! You're cruel! How come you didn't warn me?!"
"I already did. I told you "YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW", didn't I? That's more than enough hint not to mess with her."
"But that's too vague!!"
Wu Buyi cackled. It had been a while since he last teased a junior like this.
Since he had a good impression of Tang San, he wondered if he could become an extra in this main character's story. He rubbed his hands.
"Well, then, Mr. Main Character. Do you think you need my guidance or are you going to wander around on your own here?"
Tang San's expression was rigid as he was skeptical about this. However, his mentor spirit urged him.
'Accept his proposal. Judging from the local's interaction earlier, this guy seems to be a respectable well-known figure. His cultivation base might be inferior to mine, but he seems trustworthy. It's better than running around in this mysterious place and accidentally offending a hidden expert here.'
His mentor's warning made sense. Although unwilling, Tang San cupped his fist and bowed to Wu Buyi.
"Please guide me, senior. I… don't want to provoke the locals."
Wu Buyi laughed, "Good choice! Well, come with me. I'll introduce you to the BEST fried chicken store!"
"…"
Wu Buyi hummed and walked toward the nearest "FFP", aka Florida Fried Chicken store. It was his favorite fast food chain served the best cockatrice chicken meat and the best dipping sauce.
.
At the shop, Wu Buyi quickly spent 299 essence stones by ordering the largest bucket of chickens. The store didn't take advantage of Wu Buyi. A few minutes later, the mannequins carried a barrel of freshly fried cockatrice chickens for him.
Cockatrices were large monsters. Even though their anatomy was almost the same as regular chickens, their massive size offered a lot of edible meat. The store cut them into several hand-sized pieces and sold them.
The wooden barrel, made of sacred wood, contained exactly a thousand pieces of chicken. Wu Buyi put the barrel next to his table and walked toward the sauce desk, where he could take the store's sauce to his table.
Tang San didn't order anything as he had no money. He simply stared at the barrel, smelling the pleasant scent of fried chickens and drooling.
His mentor whispered again.
'Those are the meat of 7th-stage cockatrices. Normally, you can't eat it because of the toxin. If you eat it raw, your body will, without fail, turn into a stone.'
"B-But they serve the monster meat…"
'Yes. It must have been cooked by the finest chef. I don't sense any poisonous substance or toxic Qi from the meat anymore. As a matter of fact, I think they contain a lot of purified yin and yang Qi. The yang Qi from the oil suppresses the rampaging yin Qi in the meat so well that yin and yang harmonize. Eating one of these should benefit you, Tang San.'
"R-Really?"
'I never lie. I estimate that you might gain at least 100 years' worth of Qi by just eating one.'
"What about the impurity? I thought hard food was not compatible with cultivators. When I first met you, you stopped me from hunting and eating regular food. Why now?"
'Those regular meals you had back then are food for commoners. If you eat too much of those, your body accumulates toxins that will deteriorate your physique in the long run. A cultivator defies logic. Therefore, we cultivate heavenly energy to become immortal. But this… they are different.'
The mysterious master of Tang San couldn't finish explaining to his disciple. Wu Buyi returned with a bowl of black and orange dipping sauces.
Wu Buyi sat down and cleaned his hand with his Qi. Then, he looked at Tang San's face.
"Aren't you buying anything?" Asked Wu Buyi.
"Erm, no. The store… is quite pricey. I don't have enough essence stones, let alone a thousand spirit stones."
Wu Buyi snickered, "Just pay them with your lifespan! What the hell? You're already a quasi-immortal. Don't be a cheapskate because you gain some life force. Spend some and improve your cultivation! You'll be wasting a thousand years cultivating anyway. Why don't you spend a few hundred now and get Qi and essence from food right away so you don't have to waste a thousand years sitting alone in a damp cave?"
"…"
Tang San was speechless. He wished to argue, but he couldn't come up with a response.
Wu Buyi continued to lecture him.
"In this place, we speed-run the whole energy-gathering process. Look at me. I'm now an immortal. But do you know what I was 6 months ago? I was a nascent soul nobody! Three months later, I reached the earth celestial realm. And now, I'm a freaking 5th stage immortal – a celestial warrior! Do you know what I do every day? Eating, sleeping, and watching virtual girls!"
"W-What?!"
This time, Kishin Douji was shocked as well.
Breaking through multiple stages at once wasn't something new to Kishin Douji as he had experienced it before. However, that privilege was only applicable to top talents who got the backing from their rich families.
From Kishin's perspective, Wu Buyi's foundation and meridians were subpar, yet he managed to advance to the immortal stages so quickly. It defied the common sense.
As Kishin's interest was piqued, he finally noticed something strange about the shopping complex.
The yin and yang Qi from the air conditioner was too pure! It resembled the fresh Qi that the world tree of his planet produced every day.
'Is this place… a sage realm? Is this the world of sages? But that's impossible! I thought this world was a newly evolved mortal world! Its Qi isn't supposed to be this thick!'
Tang San overheard his mentor's monologue. He whispered, "What's wrong, master?"
'It's nothing. Try asking that man who the owner of this place is.'
"O-Okay." Tang San caught and relayed the question, "Senior, who is the owner of this place? How come the Qi and essence in the environment are so dense?"
Wu Buyi proudly smiled and puffed his chest.
"My lord is the greatest cultivator of all time! His name is FLORIDA MAN who masters the dao of Florida! I've been cultivating the same dao recently, and I must say… it's incredible!"
"…Dao of Florida?"
