289 Surprise Gift at Florida Man's Wedding: Guests Unwrap Bag of... Fertilizer?!
Chapter 289 – Surprise Gift at Florida Man's Wedding: Guests Unwrap Bag of... Fertilizer?!
The registration progressed smoothly after the guests learned the trick. They handed over their gifts and received numbered plaques according to the value of their items.
Most commoners and weak cultivators were sent to a meeting hall on either the first floor or the second floor, according to the value of their gifts. The waitresses served food, and all none cultivators got into the same predicament as Wang Ao. Only intermediate-level cultivators enjoyed their food without an issue.
The size of the hotel was also impressive. Two thousand guests entered the second floor's meeting rooms, but seats were still available. Moreover, the washrooms and bathrooms were never fully occupied even though half of the visitors had bowel movement issues.
At 8 AM, groups of stronger cultivators arrived. Led by Han Hao, a team of elite disciples under his guidance made their appearance. As a representative of his group, he showed the receptionist his wedding gift.
It was a glowing red sword, emitting intense yang Qi. Originally, it was an immortal-grade sword that belonged to one of the invaders. However, Han Hao tampered with it himself. "Here is my gift 'Enchanted Immortal Slaying Sword'. I may not be an expert blacksmith, but I know a thing or two in the art of treasure refinement."
The commoners behind Han Hao's group were surprised to see a real artifact among the gifts. Some of them broke their queues to admire the weapon.
Still, a few people questioned Han Hao's item.
Wu Buyi emerged out of the crowd. Unlike his usual antics, he wore proper robes. His body emitted no foul odor despite being a nerd who only took a bath once a week.
"An immortal-grade sword? Are you crazy, Han Hao? This is an important wedding. You should have brought something better!"
Han Hao snorted, "Jokes on you. My sword might look inferior in your eyes, but it contains the dao of the sword! Anybody who holds it and uses it for a month can naturally learn the dao of swords! Even if the sword owner doesn't train every day, he will still gain enlightenment!"
The crowd murmured in astonishment. Regular merchants and commoners drooled in envy as they had no mentor to guide them. They wished that they had the sword.
"As expected of the disciplinary elder. His sword might not be useful for the lord, but he can use it to pass down the sword daos to his descendants! Such gift will surely impress Lord Florida Man!" One of the guests praised.
"Indeed. The quality of the item isn't everything. It's about the usefulness of the gift that counts!" Another bystander chimed in.
Han Hao puffed his chest and glanced at his colleague, "How's that? What's your gift? Do you think you can come up with something better than me?"
"Pfft. You braggart knows nothing. Here, hold my beer!"
Wu Buyi cut the queue and stood in front of the counter. He presented a spatial ring to a receptionist.
The staff members received it and ejected a sample of the goods. A bottle of rainbow liquid came out.
Wu Buyi explained, "My wedding gifts are 1,000 bottles of purified rainbow river! As you know, the southern river of our domain is heavily contaminated because of Lord Florida Man's pet. However, that doesn't mean that the contaminated water is unusable. As a veteran alchemist, I've dedicated months to research and come up with a purifying technique, which enables me to make the river water consumable! I call these 'Florida Drinking Water' to honor our lord's name! Also, I've tested it before. Anybody who drinks this can gain at least 1,000 years' worth of cultivation!"
"HUH?!"
Although the domain was rich in cultivation resources and cultivation methods, most of them were inconvenient. For example, every employee could cultivate near the pylon tower for free, but they had to compete for the limited available seats.
In addition, consumable goods were expensive. Every grain pill had a price tag in Leo's store. Even the food cost essence stones. Despite the high cost of living, every cultivator yearned for Leo's cultivation resources because of their exceptional quality.
The emergence of a new cultivation resource aroused their desire and greed. Every cultivator gazed at the water bottle and salivated.
"S-Sir Wu, c-could you share the refinement method?" A cultivator in the crowd asked.
Wu Buyi snorted, "Ha, no! I've already presented the method along with the samples! The notes are already inside!"
A receptionist heard it. She ejected a book to check its authenticity. After flipping a few pages, she nodded.
"Here is your plaque, sir. You can attend the wedding on the fourth floor. Also, here is your room's key card. The Lord has instructed us to book a room for every VIP. You can stay in the designated room for a week, sir."
"Oh, nice!" Wu Buyi laughed and took the table plaque and the keycard. He turned around to sneer at his friend. "I wonder what floor you will get. First floor? Second floor? Hehehehe."
"…"
Han Hao grumbled and shifted his gaze to the receptionist in front of him, waiting for her verdict.
The receptionist wryly smiled. Although she was a member of the Tang Clan, she was instructed not to give anybody preferential treatment. Thus, she picked a plaque on her desk and revealed the result.
"Sir Han Hao. You can attend the wedding on the third floor."
"T-Third floor?" Han Hao was taken aback.
"I-I'm sorry, sir. I'm just following the guidebook. Weapons are less valuable than consumable goods according to the lord, sir."
"…"
Han Hao was crestfallen while Wu Buyi cackled like a villain. The former turned around and pointed his finger at Wu Buyi.
"Don't get cocky, you little shit! Just because you're close to the lord, that doesn't mean you're superior to your peers!"
"Heh, LOSER!"
"YOU!"
Han Hao wanted to punch his friend in the face, but he was wary of the stone elves in the area. He smacked his lips and followed the lines out of the queuing area.
But as Han Hao was about to leave, his son followed the queue from the other line and presented his gift. Although he was Han Hao's son, they didn't share the same idea.
"Here is an ingot, smelted from the hull of broken otherworldly artifacts. I don't know what it is, but I think Lord Florida Man can appraise it. I hope it can be put to good use."
The receptionist in front of him was a former disciple of the Amazonian Sanctuary. She was as confused as the others when she received the item. But when she glanced at the guideline instructions on her desk, she wryly smiled and reluctantly gave Han Hao a few items.
"Here is your plaque, sir. You can attend the wedding on the fifth floor. Also, here is your keycard to your room. The King Suite section is on the 10th floor, and you can rest in the room for a month. All three meals will be provided for free, and you can order it by using the room service."
Han Hao and Wu Buyi froze in their tracks. They turned around in unison. "WHAT?!"
Both of them stomped toward the young maiden. They inherited the spirits of Karens and yelled at her face.
"WHY ARE YOU SENDING HIM TO THE FIFTH FLOOR?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR GIFTS?!"
The receptionist sweated profusely while the others next to her also flinched in fear. Fortunately, their superior officers had predicted this outcome and prepared for such a scenario.
An attractive lady slowly walked out of the office. She patted the nervous receptionists behind the counter and took over the role.
Dongfang Mei smiled at Wu Buyi and Han Hao. She explained, "Don't be angry, you senile geezers. We're family here."
"But your subordinate…!" Han Hao pointed at the girls.
"Listen here, you little shit!" Dongfang Mei released her aura of an immortal. She stared down at Han Hao and Wu Buyi, "If you want to blame someone, you can blame our lord for setting up with this criteria. I'll read it for you. 'Give preferential treatment to anyone who brings RARE MATERIALS. Give respectable treatment to anyone who CONTRIBUTED TO TECHNICAL RESEARCH! ANYBODY who brings non-consumable items or non-mineral items to the wedding should be sent to the third floor. Common items, to the first or second floor. Unless someone wants to give me a freaking spaceship, don't ask for my presence!' There you have it. Any question?"
Wu Buyi and Han Hao were baffled. They looked at each other before they internally screamed in frustration.
"DAMMIT! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!"
"I KNEW IT! WHY DIDN'T I THINK ABOUT THIS?!"
Dongfang Mei sneered and waved her hands, shooing them away.
"Now, get lost, you idiots. Don't waste other people's time. We have more guests to welcome and entertain! SHOO! SHOO! Oh, junior Han Meng, you can head to the fifth floor. There's only one meeting room there. If you follow the sign, you won't miss it."
Han Meng dryly laughed and glanced at his father and his uncle. As he had expected, Wu Buyi and Han Hao glared at him as if he had violated their grandmothers.
The three troublemakers left the scene quietly. Still, the commotion caused a stir among the crowd. Many commoners and merchants who initially brought rare herbs, medicines, or artifacts left the queuing lines to fix their presents.
After the uproar, the following guests started showing weird items.
A bundle of dirt near the contaminated water, a piece of obsidian, a bag of lava badger's poops – Weird stuff kept showing up as presents.
Despite their attempts, Dongfang Mei and the employees were merciless. They had predicted this outcome, and they sent every weirdo to the first floor as punishment.
Then, some idiots thought they were clever. They bundled a package of essence stones and presented them as gifts for the employees instead of handing over a wedding gift.
"Lady Dongfang Mei. Here is our sincerity. Could you please give us a plaque to the fifth floor?" One of the merchant groups gave Dongfang Mei a bag of 50 essence stones as a bribe.
Dongfang Mei widely grinned. She accepted the bribe in glee. However, her next words shocked the merchants.
"Security, please escort these men out of the premises. They are banned from taking part in the wedding."
"W-WHAT?!" The merchant group was shocked.
"Thank you for your present, my dear. But since you don't have a present for the lord, you cannot enter this place. NOW, GET LOST!"
"NO! WAIT!!"
It was too late for the crowd of greedy merchants. Stone elves dragged the people out of the building.
.
The hectic day continued as more people wished to attend the wedding. Because the front gate's reception counter was inadequate to sort over 10,000 guests, more employees came out of the building to help. Meowmeow also brought his concubines over to maintain the order.
By 10 AM, most of the guests were seated. Unfortunately, latecomers could not join this wedding ceremony as the first and second-floor seats were full.
As only the third floor or higher floors were available, most of the people left in disappointment. Still, this gave an opportunity to cultivators who were rich in resources.
Tang Xuan and Tang Tian came out of their seclusion and entered the hotel. They presented their gifts at the same time.
Tang Tian presented a diary, which contained his insight and his dao of poison. As for Tang Xuan, he presented an alchemy recipe book.
Dongfang Mei smiled at the two. Not even a blink of hesitation, she presented them keycards to King Suites and the plaque to the fifth floor.
"Congratulations, gentlemen. You are very thoughtful!"
Both Tangs laughed, "Smart men thoroughly prepare. Only silly men rush in."
"True," Dongfang Mei giggled.
