Chapter 283 – Galactic Showdown Goes Viral: Ohio Man and Florida Man Unleash Epic Toy Lightsaber Battle!
DING
<Warning! A player has entered one of your mystic realms!>
While Leo helped Dongfang Mei and Xu Nuan adapt to the hotel, a system message warned him about the uninvited guest. He left the hotel in a hurry and rushed to the mystic realm platform.
Upon arrival, Leo found Meowmeow and Lucky. Both of them still guarded the agriculture portal and Orlando portal as instructed. However, the number of stone golems drastically increased since Leo last visited them.
A hundred concubines of Meowmeow stood in a formation while his initial three wives stood in front of them like platoon leaders.
The two heavenly guardians also detected the intruder's presence. They saluted Leo.
Leo glanced at the army of elf golems. He complained, "What are those? I remember that I told you to return them. Why the hell are you taking them in?"
Meowmeow widely grinned.
"Hey, master. Do you know that in terms of male human and female humanoid species breeding, elves are the most compatible partners for men? Not only are they beautiful, which is their main attraction, but their youthful appearance sticks with them forever. This means they stay sexy and fit, suitable to become a-"
"Stop!"
Leo almost vomited blood from cringe because this silly statue recited a cursed copy-pasta verse in the elf version. Fortunately, he hadn't mentioned anything about orcs or something inappropriate yet.
He changed the subject, "Where are the intruders? Which planet are they invading?"
As Leo's tone was serious, Meowmeow stopped messing around. He revealed the location of the intruder.
"The elf planet, master. Should we repel the invader? Actually, I have been thinking of eliminating all male elves over there and brainwashing every female elf. We can get free laborers that way."
Leo's turned solemn, "I'm not afraid of bloodshed, but damn! You're a psychopath! Are you planning to create a harem of elves or what?"
"Well, I was born from your inner desire, so…"
"Screw you and your perversion, damn birb! Fine! You and I, we go back to that planet together. You can do whatever you want with the male elves. All I want is peace and order! Spread love, not hatred!"
"That's my point, master! I DO spread LOVE – SEXY LOVE!"
Leo facepalmed and shook his head. He swore that he would either deploy or reincarnate this guy into somebody else's dantian universe one day.
"No more chit-chat. Let's get to work. We're going to see this visitor-"
Leo was about to enter the permanent portal to the elf planet. However, a male dark elf suddenly crossed over to Leo's domain.
Although he was a dark elf, his face was as handsome as the other male high elves that Leo had seen. In addition, his physique was a lot bigger than thin elves.
He looked like a dark elf on steroids. That perfect toned muscle and his hidden abs would have charmed millions of modern women on Earth instantly.
The dark elf exuded the air of an entity at a glance. However, his eyes and his black aura strangely resembled Aslan.
The dark elf stared straight into Leo's eyes. He muttered.
"Florida Man, I assume."
Leo snorted, "Yes, and you are?"
"Someone from Earth. My Daoist name is Ohio Man."
"Oh?"
Leo raised his eyebrows, surprised. The corners of his mouth curved up, "Well, well, well. A dark elf claiming to be one of my kin, how amusing. What did you do to get those elf ears?"
Simba swept his gaze across the platform and found several stone elves who stood still like statues. Upon noticing how the local high elves had been cursed by an unknown ability, his killing intent soared.
Leo also noticed that. He calmly pulled out his pen from his pocket.
Simba stared at Leo again. He slowly brought out a photo of a gorgeous female blond-haired elf holding a baby in her arms. Then, he showed it to Leo.
"Have you seen this woman before? Her name is Ester Sydin. She's the second princess of the Divine Elf Kingdom. I know that she has been imprisoned somewhere in this world because you link your domain with her home planet."
"Hmm?"
Leo's expression changed when he heard of the surname. Although Ester didn't have the 'IV' after her surname, she was still from the Sydin Family. Instantly, Leo figured that Esen and Ester were related.
Unfortunately, Leo didn't remember seeing her. After all, he was busy watching over the crowd of unruly elves and the return migration.
"Never seen her in my life." Answered Leo.
"…"
Simba deeply sighed after a long pause. He shifted his attention to Meowmeow and Lucky next. Despite meeting them the first time, Simba inquired about them as if he knew they were alive.
"What about you two? Have you seen my wife?"
Lucky barked, "Nope, woof! Anyway, why should we even answer you?!"
Meowmeow scoffed, "If I met her, I would have turned her into one of my collections. If she's not among the statues over there, then she might have been erased along with several people of that planet."
Simba glared at Meowmeow and squinted his brow. He inquired Meowmeow again in a cold deep voice.
"I'll be giving you a second chance. Answer me honestly, and I won't do anything to you or anybody here. WHERE.IS.MY.WIFE?!"
Meowmeow didn't like the tone. He also replied in the same tone. "I.DON'T.KNOW.FUCK.OFF!!"
"…I see."
Simba deeply sighed. Then, he slipped his left hand into his pocket.
Leo immediately activated the lightsaber pen and pulled out the upgraded pistol. He aimed at Simba's head and was about to pull the trigger.
VHOOM!
Simba pulled out a finger-sized keychain knife from his pocket, but it instantly expanded into a 1.5m long plasma chainsaw blade. With a swing, he sliced Leo's upgraded pistol in half!
Leo flinched when he pulled the trigger and discovered that the system gun was easily destroyed. As he got distracted, Simba closed in on him. The chainsaw blade came from Leo's right side like a baseball bat coming after a flying ball.
"HMMPH!!"
Leo smacked the flat surface of the chainsaw blade with his hammer fist. The core of the chainsaw bent 60 degrees, causing the plasma chainsaw to stall and cease functioning.
But as Leo blocked the chainsaw, Simba discarded the weapon and followed through with his right hook, aiming at the face of Leo. Moreover, he activated one of his dao domains, concealing him and Leo within a 5-meter cubic square meter domain.
Leo ignored the weird domain and leaned forward, dodging the strike by a hairbreadth. At the same time, he head-butted the face of Simba.
BONK
Leo's forehead directly broke Simba's nose. However, the latter's face regenerated instantly as he pulled his head back. A right knee shot up, aiming at Leo's face.
As Leo's left hand still held the lightsaber pen, he swung it, aiming for Simba's neck.
POW!
The knee found Leo's chin and tilted his head upward. However, Leo's lightsaber hacked down and found Simba's neck.
SSSSSSSHHHHKKKKKKK
The lightsaber emitted a strange sound as if it hit a metal plate. Moreover, the energy from the pen dimmed.
Unafraid of the lightsaber, Simba grabbed it with his right hand. His domain also drained the energy of the sword.
Within a split second, Leo sensed that his energy was leaving him. He groaned and kicked Simba's chest, using his opponent as a foothold.
Getting kicked in the chest, Simba's chest caved in while ten of his ribcages shattered instantly. He vomited several mouthfuls of blood while his body was knocked backward. His back hit the wall of his domain. Then, he fell on his knees.
Leo's back also hit the small wall behind him. When he looked up, Leo discovered the domain's ability, which trapped him and his opponent.
The domain trapped both of them inside! Moreover, it leeched his energy!
"Annoying!"
Leo stopped time and overlapped his domain with Simba's.
As soon as the time domain reached Simba, he instantly healed the injuries and undid his domain. Instantly, he vanished and reappeared behind Leo.
Leo sensed the dark elf behind him. Even though his time domain was active, this dark elf ignored the restrictions and stretched his hand, seizing Leo's neck from behind.
"DETONATE!"
BOOOOOM
A large explosion erupted and Simba's black flame devoured Leo whole!
Unfortunately, the touch was a mistake. Leo, being an absolute menace, turned his head 180 degrees. His spinal cord grew a dozen sharp spikes, which pierced Simba's arms, face, and chest. The transparent blood of Leo ignited a rainbow flame, which extinguished the black flame of Simba.
Despite being pierced by Leo's bones, Simba lightly snorted and transformed into smoke. He leisurely reappeared five meters away while his body showed no signs of injuries.
Leo calmly turned his body around. He grabbed his head and twisted it back to the right angle.
CRACK
Adjusting his spine placement, Leo tilted his head from left to right and right to left. Then, he rotated his shoulders while the spikes behind him slowly formed a pair of bone wings.
Simba gazed at Leo in solemn. He recognized the traits of the wings and rainbow aura.
He was enraged. The wings reminded him of a certain murderer and the traitor of humanity.
"Rainbow aura of the phoenix bloodline and the wings of that devil? What's your relationship with Mao Miaomiao?!"
Leo slowly tore his suit, which was burnt and corroded by Simba's black flame. He tossed away the broken pen and resumed a kickboxing stance.
"Mao Miaomiao? Oh, that asshole? He's long dead."
"I know he's dead. Did you absorb his bloodline?! Or was you one of the people from that lab?!"
Leo didn't fully understand what Simba's problem was. He only remembered that he was a lab rat before, so he innocently answered.
"If you refer to the asshole's lab, yeah, I was a part of it."
"Good. Very good." Simba's expression changed. His killing intent exploded, and a menacing black aura of a draconic karmic sovereign was revealed. Black scales covered his skin while his face distorted, transforming into the face of a black dragon. A pair of black metal wings protruded from his back while his arm and leg joints twisted.
A long white bone slowly exited through Simba's left hand. The humanoid dragon ruthlessly pulled out the piece of bone from his flesh.
The bone, bathed in his black blood, shapeshifted into a 3-meter-long blade. However, the movable joints on it implied that it was not a simple weapon.
Instead of displaying the aura of an entity, Simba revealed his true strength as a karmic sovereign.
Leo solemnly gazed at Simba. Realizing the gravity of the situation, he pointed at the void in space.
"How about we change location? You are here to rescue your wife, right? You probably don't want to kill her accidentally."
Seeing how calm Leo was, Simba pointed his long blade at Leo's face.
"Ha! Now, you wanna talk?"
"Will you stop fighting if we talk?"
Simba sneered, "Nah. Once I get my wife back, you can say goodbye to your people and your world! A traitor of humanity like you doesn't deserve happiness and a good life!!"
"Now, you're being excessive. I'm the victim here!"
"Hah! Victim? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE! NOW, DIE!!"
"…Oh, dear." Leo cracked his knuckles. "I guess we have no choice. I'll send you to your wife, then."
Leo and Simba paused for a second. Then, they rushed at each other at the speed of light.
