Chapter 24 – Florida Man Scammer Starts New Franchise, Hires Scammed Victim
"Mystic realm?"
Leo's expression was complicated. He understood that Wu Buyi wanted him to join his sect, but he had a major issue that he couldn't tell Wu Buyi - He needed to be in the shop domain. If he went outside, the auto-translation feature would have been disabled, and he wouldn't be able to communicate with the others.
'How the duck will I communicate with them if I go too far from my store? Learning Chinese? As if I can speak Chinese. What will I say when I'm in front of the crowd?'
Leo paused as his brain.exe malfunctioned and thought of a Chinese sentence. He didn't care if the spirits of the Chinese government might deduce his social credits afterward.
'Zaoshang Hao Zhongguo, Xianzai Wo You Bingqilin! Wo Hen Xihuan Bingqilin! Yes, I'm Zhong Xina, and I love ice cream... God dammit, brain! WTF were you thinking?!'
Leo closed his eyes, crossed his arms behind his back, and deeply frowned, suppressing his silly brain from wandering off the topic.
Seeing his complex expression, Wu Buyi gulped, afraid that he might have jumped the gun and said something wrong.
"A-Are you busy, Daoist Florida Man? You don't have to join us if you don't want to."
Leo slowly opened his eyes and shook his head. No matter what, he couldn't join other organizations if he would be forced to move out of his shop domain.
"Sorry. I have no intention of joining any organization at the moment."
Wu Buyi was slightly dejected that he failed to recruit Leo to Life Sword Sect. Still, he didn't give up persuading him. After all, the mystic realms were the only way to acquire rare ingredients or capture rare monster beasts. Edible animals, rare vegetables, and exotic fruit trees were abundant in there as long as the cultivators were skillful enough to collect them.
"What about the mystic realm, sir? Will you join us on this trip? We will reserve a seat for you. It's better than entering the mystic realm alone as a rogue cultivator since you might have to compete against the others for an available quota."
Leo felt like they were talking in a different language. He wanted to know what the mystic realm was, but Wu Buyi insisted on inviting him.
Still, for the sake of getting more customers to scam, Leo politely declined Wu Buyi.
"I'm truly sorry. I have another plan."
"... I see." Wu Buyi deeply sighed. He seemed sad.
Leo changed the topic to cut the silence, "By the way, could you explain what the mystic realms are? Explain to me like I'm six years old."
"Huh?"
Wu Buyi was surprised that Leo asked that question. He thought that Leo was already aware of the local culture and traditions.
'Does he not know about the mystic realm's custom or the Jianghu Alliance's rules? Oh, right. He must be testing me. Since he came from a higher realm, he might not know about our customs. That must be the reason!'
The alchemist coughed. He explained.
"The mystic realms are worlds in another dimension, sir. The Jianghu Alliance is managing them, and the Life Sword Sect is in charge of a portal. Every three months, every portal to the other world automatically opens. However, the destinations are always random, so we don't know any other detail about them until we get in there."
Wu Buyi paused and brought out a bamboo scroll. He opened the scroll, revealing the rough drawing of a map. Leo examined the map and discovered that it depicted an island.
The alchemist continued, "This is the map our sect drew in the last expedition. Our sect's portal connected to an island in the middle of an ocean, and it was full of danger. We ran into an army of a hundred thousand 3rd grade monster beasts. Oh, they are as strong as foundation establishment cultivators by the way. We managed to kill a thousand and scavenged some herbs from the island. Unfortunately, we only had seven days to finish our expedition, so we couldn't fully explore the place."
Leo nodded. On the map, there were only five landmarks. The rest of the map was blank.
"The next expedition is expected to be a new place. This time, we're planning to send our strongest elders and the most talented disciples there to gain some real combat experience. Since you've helped a lot, I wish to give you a spot as a token of gratitude. I bet you will experience fortuitous encounters in there and find many treasures."
Leo still couldn't understand why Wu Buyi wanted him along. However, from the tone and the information, Leo roughly guessed that the alchemist wanted him to tag along with his disciples and protected them.
"In short, you want me to babysit your disciples?"
"No, no, no! Argh... Yes, you're right."
Wu Buyi sweated profusely. Leo hit the mark, and the former couldn't come up with an excuse. Although embarrassed, Wu Buyi confessed.
"I'm ashamed. In the previous expedition, four of the ten disciples died because we lacked life-saving treasures and healing medicines. I notice that you're good in botany, so I thought that you could provide us with some healing medicines and herbs."
Wu Buyi sighed and lamented to himself. He turned around, giving up convincing Leo.
On the other hand, Leo had his own thoughts.
'I don't understand why they insist on going there and risk their lives. If I were them, I would have just sat back and scratched my belly button at home. What do they lack? Herbs? Pills? Oh, right. They're cultivators, so they lack cultivation resources? If I can solve that by selling them cultivation pills, will that help? Is that a win-win for me and the sect?'
Leo suddenly had an inspiration. He grinned and coughed.
"Ahem. So, you lack cultivation resources, right?"
Wu Buyi lowered his head, "Yes, sir."
"What do you usually get from the mystic realms?"
"Erm... rare mineral, ancient relics, treasures, elemental herbs, and corpses of ancient experts."
"Anything else?"
"If I have to name some, I have a few. You see, mystic realms are usually filled with elemental Qi that doesn't exist in the mainland, and our people need them to get stronger. Also, seniors like us usually collect some rare herbs and natural minerals since they can't be found on the mainland. For example, the immortal grass grew in some mystic realms..."
Wu Buyi looked at the showcase refrigerators in the store and pointed at them, planning to give an example. However, he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed something unusual.
Aside from the yin cabbages and immortal grass, the bananas in there didn't look like a regular ones. Upon getting a closer look, he sensed an aura of Earth Element Qi from the bananas!
They were all rare fruits that only grew in a desert mystic realm!
"..."
Wu Buyi was speechless. He looked at Leo, wanting an explanation of where he got those fruits from.
Leo ignored Wu Buyi's funny expression. He changed the subject by pointing at the eyeballs in the jars, "I get it. Say, mister. If you sell those, how much will you get in return?"
"..."
Wu Buyi gulped. There were 27 eyeballs in the jars, not including the one on his hand. Each could easily fetch a million spirit stones, which could be exchanged for rare treasures, artifacts, pills, and many more.
Once again, Wu Buyi told Leo the truth.
"If you sell one of these to an auction house, you might get about a million spirit stones."
Leo heard something interesting. He probed for more information.
"How much is a million spirit stones? What can they buy?"
"Hahaha. Sir, you must be joking. A million spirit stones are a lot even for me. With one million spirit stones, you can buy a small flying ship or a top-graded flying sword. If a first-rank foundation establishment stage cultivator absorbs all Qi from the spirit stones, he is guaranteed to advance to the nascent stage! That's two major stages, sir. This amount is life-changing."
Leo stroked his beard and widely grinned. In secret, he compared the value in his mind.
'So, a small flying ship is like a small car, and a top-graded flying sword is an expensive bike. If I compare it this way, it makes a lot of sense. Vehicles are always expensive since it saves time, and time is invaluable. Speaking of which, how much should I charge for the eyes...'
Leo glanced at the baskets of vegetables and fruits. He remembered that he hadn't started plowing farmland yet. Moreover, he needed more lifespan to upgrade his shops and tools. Then, he questioned himself if upgrading was necessary.
'To be honest, I can be self-sufficient and retire quietly without upgrading anything. I can slowly eat the mutated plants and veggies here. Then, I can live as long as I want to. But hey, what's the point of living in poverty for a billion years when I can upgrade my life quality with someone else's lifespan! I NEED TO FARM LIFESPAN AND SCAM MORE PEOPLE! CAPITALISM HO!'
Motivated, Leo proposed his idea to Wu Buyi.
"Instead of letting me join your expedition whatsoever, how about you give me the list of what you found in the past expeditions?"
Wu Buyi was confused about why Leo wanted the sensitive information. He was reluctant to disclose the intel as it affected their sect's security.
"Sir, could I ask why you need them for?"
"For some calculations. Oh, if you aren't comfortable, it's fine. You don't have to be too detailed. I just need to know some general information that every people know."
"..."
Again, Wu Buyi didn't want to expose the sect's secrets. He decided to tell Leo what everybody in the other sects and countries knew.
"We got some carcasses of monster beasts, elemental herbs, and some minerals to make weapons, sir."
"Are the carcasses as good as these things in the freezer?" Leo tapped the freezer chests, wondering if they were better than mutated wolves.
Wu Buyi shook his head, "No, sir. They're much inferior to this..."
"Okay. What about those veggies over there," Leo pointed at the bananas in the showcase fridges.
Again, Wu Buyi bitterly laughed, "We... can't compare ourselves to you, sir. Your precious herbs and materials are far superior to what we had."
"Good!"
Leo heard enough. He discovered an opportunity to do business.
"Instead of me working for your sect, how about you work for me instead? I need a PR and a coordinator to handle some trivial tasks."
"Huh?"
Wu Buyi was stunned for several seconds. He doubted himself if he heard it right.
Leo pushed on, "For example, I need someone to run errands and fetch me some regular vegetables and fruits from other cities once in a while. Also, I need someone to advertise my store that I'm willing to trade my rare materials that you can't usually find in the mystic realms. Of course, I only accept lifespan."
Leo widely grinned while Wu Buyi dropped his jaw.
