Chapter 128 – Florida Man Announces He Will Open Kindergarten for Elders
"It has been a while. I miss this place."
Leo visited an alchemist mannequin, who was busy making another batch of rejuvenate tea. When Leo approached him, he turned around to look and stood there, waiting for a new instruction.
As Leo remembered its past deeds, he scanned through the workshop. Fortunately, the mannequin got smarter as it stored the finished product in the barrels and the containers that Leo had prepared for it.
He lifted one of the barrels to check the content. Sure enough, it was full of the perfect-grade tea.
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Pinnacle Grade Rejuvenate Tea
- Evolve bone marrow and blood cells.
- Decrease physical age by 20 years per liter.
- Increase metabolism by 100% for 480 hours.
- Remove cancer cells.
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The item seemed dangerous for Leo as he was the host of evolved cancer cells. From a glance, drinking this tea could potentially kill him.
Leo once tested the tea's effects. Indeed, it damaged his cells, but it was not strong enough to kill the blood cells in his system. A small dose of tea managed to immobilize the transparent blood cells for a few minutes. After that, the cells self-resurrected and corrected the repaired damaged organs as if nothing had happened.
Still, during the immobilized period, the tea made Leo slightly tipsy!
The tea had the same effects as alcoholic beverages!
Looking at the barrels of tea, Leo snickered. He had enough drink to enjoy for ages. Moreover, he could flex by serving this drink to his future guests and employees.
Leo thought of Wu Buyi. He wondered what that dumb alchemist would look like in his youth.
'I should keep feeding him the tea until his physical age is as young as that brat. Oh, once he's that young, I'll trick the other geezers into drinking more of my tea. Then, this entire place will be full of grade-schoolers. PFFT. This should be fun.'
The immature thought took over Leo's brain once again. He carried one of the barrels and brought it in front of Wu Buyi's house. Coincidentally, the guy was also in his house. As usual, he was busy watching his smartphone and enjoying the internet.
Leo noticed Wu Buyi's deed through the foul scent of the latter's bodily fluid. As he respected the latter's privacy, Leo knocked on the door and shouted.
"Wu Buyi. I've brought you your overtime pay! The tea barrel is in front of your house. Make sure to drink this while it's still fresh! Oh, don't overdrink it and turn yourself into sperm! One cup a day is enough!"
"Huh?"
Wu Buyi's boner was killed. He put on his pants and rushed outside. Upon opening the door, he found a wooden barrel. However, Leo had already left.
Looking left and right, Wu Buyi silently carried the barrel into his house and shut the door. Then, he continued his research, broadening his horizon.
He hadn't realized that the unicorns and Cat could detect his scent.
Meanwhile, Leo went back to the workshop. By the time he arrived, the first workshop's mannequin already finished making the latest batch of rejuvenating tea.
Leo stopped the worker and ordered him to take a break. The mannequin nodded and returned to the building, opening the door and getting inside the house.
While the mannequin was entering the workshop building, Leo took a peek inside. Then, he was astonished.
Inside the workshop was a warehouse of thousand tea barrels. Even though the interior space was expanded, the wooden barrels filled the room to the brim, leaving only a small space for the worker to sit.
The mannequin silently sat and hugged his knees, staring at Leo's face. He then looked at the work he had done.
"…"
Leo had a complex feeling about this mannequin. He felt bad for the automaton.
Since Leo had learned the spatial ring's function and usage, he entered the workshop and stored half of the barrels in his spatial rings. After clearing a portion of the room, he opened the online shopping system and purchased some furniture for the automaton.
A bed, a couch, a cabinet, flower vases, and random portraits of scenery came out. Leo arranged the future and patted the mannequin's shoulder.
"Next time you rest, you can sit on the couch or sleep in the bed. Oh, make sure you take a bath before you take a long rest."
The automaton's eyes gleamed. He repeatedly nodded and walked toward the bed and the couch to inspect them. Remembering Leo's instruction, he inspected his body, which got sandy and rough because of the accumulated dirt, dust, and mud.
After discovering the dirtiness, the mannequin understood why a bath was a must. He left the building and entered the general store as the bathrooms there provided infinite tap water.
Leo had been observing the mannequin's actions. When the wooden doll entered his store, Leo had a bad premonition. He immediately purchased rubber door mats that he usually found in department stores. Rushing into the general store, he placed the mats in the air filtering room and in front of the public toilets.
That was not enough. As people might be using the public toilets as their bathhouses, Leo bought a clean towel and threw it toward the mannequin.
"Before you come out after a bath, dry your body with it. When you're done, make sure to do the laundry so you can use that again."
The mannequin tilted his head. He didn't understand what LAUNDRY was.
Looking at the mannequin, Leo had a headache. He purchased a laundry machine, a cloth dryer, and a huge canteen of liquid detergent.
As the machines couldn't operate without electricity, Leo had no choice but to upgrade them once. The machines cost only 20 years of lifespan, but upgrading both of them cost 2,000 YOL.
After upgrading the machines, Leo paused to think. He wondered how far he could upgrade the modern electrical appliance. Putting his inspiration to work, Leo upgraded it to level 8, spending an additional 12,000 YOL.
DING
Both the cloth dryer and laundry machine looked the same. However, all buttons vanished.
Leo frowned. Without a button, he had no idea how the machines worked. Thus, he tested them by throwing the dirty uniform of a cultist into the laundry machine.
After closing the hatch, the machine hummed. A second later, colorful water soaked the clothes, and a pleasant flowery scent kicked Leo's nose.
The machine didn't need detergent anymore. It came with a built-in detergent generator, and it also created water for the laundry!
However, without an external water pipe, Leo got curious about how the machine would dispose of the used water. He and the mannequin observed the machine.
DING
It took the machine 20 minutes to wash the clothes. It looked like a normal washing machine at a glance. But when Leo looked inside the machine to see the washed clothes, he was astonished.
Every piece of clothes glittered even though they were still wet. Leo pulled one of the wet robes out to inspect its color and quality. Checking its durability, Leo lightly stretched it.
The wet clothes didn't rip. Had it been regular clothes, it would have been torn in half.
"How the hail…"
The robe was upgraded after the laundry. From a black uniform, it became white. In addition, the texture was softer, but the durability and flexibility improved.
With such a sturdy cloth, Leo wondered if others could use it as armor.
Leo's eyes glinted as his capitalist side got another inspiration. He explored the online shopping system, searching for a coin meter system to install on top of the washing machine.
It was easy to find as there were many brands. Still, Leo chose not to purchase them due to a troublesome reason – Nobody here used coins.
'Tsk. I wish they sold spirit stone machines. Do I have to invent one myself?'
Leo closed the menu. For now, he put the project aside and left the washing machine there as an exclusive tool for himself. He turned his attention to the cloth dryer next.
The next machine's function was a lot simpler. Leo tossed the wet clothes in there, but the machine instantly ejected them out. All clothes were instantly dried and ironed. In addition, they came out folded.
Leo inwardly laughed. This machine would have been popular among lazy housewives and salarymen in the modern world.
"Welp. This is perfect for me. I don't have to keep buying new clothes from the store anymore."
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After instructing the mannequin and showing him how to use the machines, Leo left the mannequin alone in the bath. He then purchased another set of rubber mats to place in front of the public toilets.
Coming out of the general store, Leo returned to the workshop. He hadn't forgotten his primary objective yet.
When Leo arrived, he put a glowing purple bone that Esen had given him into the cauldron. He then pressed the research button.
DING
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Molg Lich's Femur
This piece of bone once belonged to an immortal celestial general of the destroyed Molg Empire. Even though 10,000 years have passed, this piece of bone still contains a great amount of yin essence. It can be used as a catalyst for necromancy or converted into soul stones with alchemy. However, top immortal alchemists can turn this piece of bone into something greater.
[Alchemy Recipe – Soul Stones]
One Molg Lich's Bone (Any Piece)
Yin Essence
[Alchemy Recipe – Luck Crystal]
Seven Purified Molg Lich's Bones
Blood of 10,000-Year-Old Virgin Maiden
Blood of 10,000-Year-Old Virgin Man
Yin and Yang Essence
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Leo had a lot to say when he read the recipe of Luck Crystal. He wanted to curse his system for demanding impossible ingredients.
"Where the hell can I find a 10,000-year-old virgin maiden!? Are you nuts?! Also, virgin man? You… are you dissing me?!"
Because of his innocence, Leo took a defensive stance and bellowed at the blue window in front of him. He didn't realize that the unicorns, nightmares, and Esen could hear him.
Taxi and P.Hub smirked and shook their heads. The emotionless nightmares simply snorted, but Esen was taken aback.
Curious about what Leo was doing, Esen checked on him. He lightly poked Leo's butt with another femur bone that she had brought.
"What's the problem with a 10,000-year-old maiden? Are you talking to me?"
"Hah?!"
Leo turned around and looked at the loli lich. He didn't get it at first. But when he saw the deep frown on Esen's face, Leo figured it out and was surprised.
"You… dammit. Did someone set me up?"
"What's the matter? Why are you looking for a virgin maiden?"
Leo sighed and confessed, "I need her blood in alchemy."
"Oh. Is that so? Well, once I recover my power, I'll donate some to you. By the way, what are you making? Can I know the alchemy recipe?"
"…"
Leo was speechless. He didn't expect the arrogant girl to be this kind. Still, he appreciated her offer nonetheless.
Nobody hated free goodies!
"Ahem!" For the sake of the long-lasting relationship, Leo told her the truth, "I'm planning to make Luck Crystal. Well, coincidentally, it takes seven pieces of your people's bones, blood of a virgin 10,000-year-old man and woman… and some basic essence."
Esen narrowed her eye sockets even though she had no eyeballs. Her expression was solemn for a moment before she suddenly smiled and laughed.
"FUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"
Leo was offended. He yelled at the loli, "What's the matter with you? What's so funny?!"
"If I guess correctly, you must also be a virgin. Am I right? How old are you again? 50,000? PFFT! BAHAHAHAHA!!"
"…"
