(MC POV)
Looks like giving them some cookies and a few headpats did the trick.
When I tried looking into the future a little to see how things might go on with the gods, all I saw were the three of them going at each other's throats which resulted in the partial destruction of the God Plane and even this World.
Of course I kind of panicked a little since this was obviously caused by me so I tried to look for some way to prevent it.
Somehow omniscience came up with the solution of making some cookies and giving a head pat to each of them to avoid such a future.
I wasn't sure why that would work but I could see that future was avoided after I did both of those things so I wasn't going to question it.
Still odd though, but I did it anyway.
"Master, you really are kind," Iris told me as a matter of factly.
She told me in such a flat tone that I wasn't sure if she was complimenting or criticising me.
"Hmm? Well, you wouldn't be the first one to think that way. Why do you say so?"
"Handmade cookies by Master? If Master were to toss those out into space and told all the gods in existence they could have it, you might spark off a war on the cosmic scale just for that."
"Seriously? They're just cookies..."
Iris smiled, "In fact, if Master had said I could compete for it too, I would have simply Ended all the other gods just to obtain it."
Woah ok... I know for a fact that she's not joking and she'd do it without hesitation too.
I raised my hands, "Ok, ok, I get it. I'll try not to be too kind."
"Ara? Why, Master?" Iris asked, sounding genuinely confused.
"Why? To prevent accidentally creating a cosmic war or even having you End everything. Isn't that your point that it's bad?"
Iris tilted her head, "Ara, ara? Why would that be bad, Master?"
Oh, so she was actually complimenting me... And I keep forgetting that she would literally see nothing wrong with everything else in existence coming to an End so that it will only just be the two of us remaining.
"Nevermind... You want a cookie too?" I asked, offering one to her.
"Oh! Thank you, Master!"
She immediately took the proffered cookie and it disappeared in a flash of light.
Eh? She's not eating it? Maybe she wants to eat it later.
Anyway, now I know the gods aren't any better than the fan club members in this World.
Looking outside my room, the sun was already setting in the horizon and yet my disciples were still training diligently. Cai Hong was currently having a nap in her room, the little dragon feeling quite tired after running around with me all day.
It'll be dinner time in a few hours so I still have a bit more free time for now, which made me wonder what I could do in this period of time.
Hmm... Maybe I should do something with Iris? Something that can help her understand mortal common sense better...
I turned back to face Iris, "Seeing as how we got some free time now, is there anything you would like to do? Something you thought of trying before but never did?"
My words seemed to have shook her out of her thoughts seeing she had this far off look in her eyes.
"Oh? Didn't Master just give me a cookie?"
"Err... That's for you to eat... I'm asking what you'd like to do?"
Seriously, what did she do with that cookie?
Iris blinked at me, "Aside from watching Master?"
"Well yeah. Aside from simply watching me."
She thought about it for a moment before breaking out into a smile, "There is one thing I have always wanted to try, but I'm not sure if Master would agree to it."
Oh? That's surprising. I was honestly expecting her to say nothing or maybe even something along the lines of Ending the universe's existence.
"What is it? If it's not something too ridiculous, I wouldn't mind doing it with you."
"I would like to perform what I believe is called a 'lap pillow'."
I blinked at her a few times, "A what?"
"A lap pillow, Master."
"Err... I guess I don't mind... So you want to rest on my lap?"
"Ufufufu~ It's the opposite, Master. I want Master to rest on mine~"
"Oh... Well... I don't mind that either, shall we head to my bed then?"
"Unnecessary."
Iris snapped her fingers and I found myself floating up from my seat, as though I was being carried by some invisible stretcher.
She sat down at where I had been and my body was slowly lowered down until my head was pressed onto her thighs. She positioned me in such a way that the top of my head was facing towards her belly.
I was kind of half floating in the air and half resting on her, but it didn't feel uncomfortable for me as even the floating part felt like it was resting on something solid instead of being in midair.
I didn't have the mental capacity to care about that now since all of my focus was on how soft and supple her thighs were. It felt like I had pressed my head against a really big marshmallow that smelled incredibly good too, I could lay here for hours on end without complaint.
If I had to say, this was the perfect lap pillow in existence.
Actually, of course it was, she was created to be perfect so her lap pillows were perfect too.
This was perfection.
I looked up to see her face and... The image of perfection shattered immediately.
She was smiling at me, but it was not the kind of gentle or serene smile that I had seen her show me on occasions. It was one that was bordering on madness, the type of smile that you might see on a serial killer smiling while looking down at their next victim.
My skin crawled from the sight and I even felt a bead of cold sweat roll down my neck.
"Master... Master... Master... I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you..." She muttered like a broken recorder.
Her hands slowly clasped my face and she continued to repeat her words like some sort of mantra, her own face moving closer and closer to me with each passing second. Her grip on me started to tighten uncomfortably and somehow the image of her ripping my head off came to mind.
I was reminded of the time I met her as the Divine Primordial Dragon where she had temporarily Ended my existence to turn back time. The feeling I'm getting now was quite similar to that time too.
Before she could get any closer though, the door to my room was suddenly thrown open and Iris was blasted away from me.
My body began to fall but several tails caught me before I reached the ground, pulling me into the embrace of Manami and Kiyomi.
"Damned harlot! What were you trying to do to Master?!" Lian Li demanded, golden lightning cackling around her.
Iris pushed herself out from the rubble, her head hung low.
I thought she came to her senses but when she looked up at us with a face full of rage, I knew it was far from over.
"How dare you, how dare you, how dare you?!! Master is mine! Mine! MINE! MINE!!"
Oh great... This is the repeat of their first meeting isn't it...
