Life became especially bland for two months.
After Damien's first encounter with Lynn Carter, their relationship didn't improve at all. Instead, they remained fire and ice. No matter how much Damien tried to melt the ice cube, it wouldn't budge.
Due to this, any cooperation the pair could've done was taken off the table. Damien's job was demoted to assistant, at least between the two of them.
And frankly, Damien had no problem with this arrangement. Eve provided him information, but didn't help him comprehend that information. Even though he could talk for ages, he couldn't actually provide insights or aid in a field he had no experience in.
But if there was someone giving him detailed instructions about everything, he'd have no problem at all. The assistant role was perfect for the current Damien.
A byproduct of constantly working together was constantly being together. During this time, Damien was able to get a basic grasp of Lynn Carter's character.
Lynn Carter wasn't cold nor was she warm. In terms of personality, there wasn't much special about her. At least on the surface, she came off as an average researcher with an above-average brain.
But Damien could see something hidden beneath that. Occasionally, she would make remarks that didn't fit her usual personality at all. And without fail, these remarks were said when complaining about Evotech.
Despite her casual exterior, Damien's perception wasn't so weak. He understood the fox that hid within her body.
In fact, converting her didn't seem to be necessary. It was more apt to say Damien needed to form a connection and cooperate with her.
As for the pair's research, it was related to the Outer Wilds. Specifically, they were researching ways for humans to explore the desolate wasteland without being corroded by the ambient mana and air.
Once again, Damien found a project that was pivotal in the survival of mankind. Yet, it was being done by a company that destroys planets at their whims. This kind of parallel made Damien feel uncomfortable.
When faced with the world, he never had to consider right or wrong. Firstly, he was a firm believer in the "strength is king" dynamic. And secondly, he had complete belief in his own moral code.
But in the same vein, he wasn't ever put in a situation that was truly grey. In the eyes of this world's denizens, perhaps he'd be a villain. Yet, in the eyes of the rest of humanity, he'd be a hero.
Damien found himself hesitating. He found himself constantly asking himself a question he'd already answered in the past.
'What kind of person do I want to be?'
The meaning of this question changed in wartime. Ever since Damien left the Primordial Undying Realm, the war had been the main priority in Damien's mind.
Ever since he viewed Alaric's memories and witnessed the brutality of war firsthand, he'd never been able to rid himself of that sight.
Millions, billions, an uncountable number of existences died like nothing. While Damien's morality didn't sway at these deaths, something else inside him did.
It was this so-called concept of "humanity."
As he reintegrated with society, Damien returned to being a "human." However, his moral code was created in the time when he was trapped in the dungeon, the time when he was a "beast."
Although his views changed over time, the core of his belief had never been tampered with. Everything else was simply built upon it.
If there was one thing he knew, it was that he didn't want to be a hero.
Heroes were pathetic. They were people whose spirit was built on the will of others. This kind of person was fated to carry an immense and fragile burden. If they made one misstep, the entire public would turn against them, and their spirit would directly collapse.
A true hero wasn't a hero at all. True heroes were the ones Damien saw on the battlefield during the 10 years he spent there.
The old dwarf, Indomitable. It wasn't his given name, but the nickname he was given within the alliance. Although it was domineering, he didn't fail to live up to it in the slightest.
Old Man Indomitable was already tens of thousands of years old by then. His craft had been honed to the utmost, and he had reached the Demigod realm through forging alone.
And the weapons he made for the soldiers, those weapons that would never fail them even in the direst of situations, they saved innumerable lives. Old Man Indomitable was a true hero, but his name was never passed down to the following generations, his legacy going uninherited and unknown.
There were countless others like him that Alaric met on the battlefield.
Swift Flower, a woman who burned her own soul to save her comrades from the pursuit of a Demigod, Atlas, a Giant who used physical strength alone to hold a world together and prevent its collapse, staying stationary in this position for hundreds of years before reinforcements arrived…and even Alaric himself.
These people were unsung heroes. If it wasn't for their contribution, the final result of the ancient war wouldn't have been nearly as optimistic as it was.
But in the end, they all died.
Damien didn't know how many sacrificed themselves or how many died with the passage of time, but it was true that at least Alaric died after giving everything he had for what he believed in.
Could Damien do that?
If he thought about it rationally, the answer was no. When his strength grew enough, he could expand the Sanctuary so much that he could fit any and everyone into it. Perhaps, he could even send entire worlds to merge with it.
Although that strength sounded far away, Damien knew that it wasn't. He knew how massive the difference between 3rd and 4th class was.
And if Damien was ever in a situation where everything he cared about was safely tucked away in the Sanctuary, he would no longer have any reason to fight.
This was the reality of his situation.
However, no matter how unrighteous Damien's mind was, his heart always adored heroes.
What young boy wouldn't? Especially to someone like Damien who submerged himself in fantasy before his life changed, being the hero who saved everyone and took the spotlight was incredibly appealing. It was the kind of domineering appearance he'd always wanted.
But Damien already grew out of those childish fantasies. The only thing left was a subconscious knot that he only realized when the issue presented itself.
Damien smiled wryly. In the end, he couldn't decide at all what kind of person he'd be. Nevertheless, he was always a simple person.
In a situation where he couldn't predict or plan for the future, the only thing left to do was act however he felt was right in the moment.
Quietly, Damien stood up. It didn't feel like anything changed about him, but at the same time, he didn't feel the same as before.
His thoughts had been insignificant, it was simply a random tangent he suddenly had. Yet, the effect this tangent had wasn't simple.
His mind felt calmer.
The threat of the war, the threat of dying so meaninglessly after expending so much effort, it terrified him. It was impossible for someone like him who hadn't experienced anything to easily accept such wide-scale death and destruction.
But he was slowly accommodating it. He was attempting to grow into the clothes that were forced onto him. This way, perhaps he'd at least be somewhat prepared for what was to come.
And it seemed…he'd made a small bit of progress in the growth spurt he desperately hoped for.
