"Try me if you want to."
Tuan asked and released his mana sense. This time, there was all his fierceness reflected in it. The Sin of Wrath had also played a huge part in sharpening his aura to feel like a bloodthirsty sword.
Katalina felt Tuan's presence and made a gulping sound. She could see it in his eyes and through his presence that Tuan was even more capable of violence than he had previously shown.
"Al… alright. No need to intimidate me any further if it's already working. Get to the point."
Katalina said while folding her hands under her ample bosom. Tuan admired how quickly she recovered from being on the backfoot and came forward to talk to him in an equal manner.
Tuan did what he was asked to do when he realized that Katalina was worth having as his raid partner. He called off his mana sense and stored his weapons away before continuing.
"My point is, you need to be a bit crazy to achieve success in life. You are not crazy obviously. And I'm not saying being pragmatic is always a bad thing. You may be able to limit your losses after analyzing the situation in your favour. But…"
Butcher said this before walking up to Katalina. For some reason, she reminded the butcher of the old friend he had in his past timeline. She was just like Katalina, fierce and logical at the same time. Hers was one of a few fond memories he had from his life that was feeling more and more like a dream these days for him.
Unfortunately, she was killed by her naivety in Eren's past timeline.
The butcher stood only an arm's length away from Kat after walking up to her. He looked her in the eyes before speaking further.
Yet, sanity is also one's shackle, Katalina. And don't get me wrong. I'm not liberated from the shackles of my sanity either.
Just now I was considering staying in the ruined city and collecting all the drops while avoiding the hunting area completely. It was a sane decision considering my situation.
And yet, you could see the obvious flaw in it, can't you? It's all a matter of perspective that allows us to peek into the future.
The difference between you and me is simple, Kat. I know how to turn the mental switch of my sanity on and off when I see the need to. Can you?"
Tuan stared intently at Katalina and asked. She was affected by his presence and his words. The close combat expert couldn't help herself from replying to his question by shaking her head in denial.
Tuan nodded at Katalina before commenting.
"Good. Self-realization is the starting point. Your inability to break free from sanity is why you can't win. You need to find that switch and learn how to make it work for you.
I'm not saying this just to make you drop the idea of backstabbing me. That is there. But no matter who they are, I want people who fight with me to be capable. My survival depends on it."
Katalina didn't understand where Tuan was coming from. But she felt that whatever he said was spoken from his heart. The fire-element ranker in front of her might have ulterior motives for saying what we said. Still, the advice made sense to her. So she nodded before replying.
"Hehe. I guess you have a plan in mind that requires me to go overboard. But don't worry. I'm all in. Let's be crazy and see where it takes us. Let me find that switch by being just that."
Katalina said with a newfound glint in her eyes. With her steady voice and keen gaze, she spoke further.
"Tuan, I accept whatever you have said to me. Maybe I'm not cut out in the first place. But that won't stop me from trying. Reach for the stars and you might land on the moon they say. I'm planning to do just that."
Katalina produced a genuine smile on her face when she spoke out about what she truly felt. It was as if she was liberated from the burden of trying to win the Titus championship. She also stopped caring about her viewers and her fan booth. Now all she wanted to do was try to find that switch Tuan spoke of.
Katalina and Tuan talked some more before disappearing from the ruined infirmary that was going to become their base for the next few days. They also exchanged the rune imprints that would allow them to contact each other through ID voice communication.
******************
'What was that?'
Tuan heard a voice in his head all of a sudden when he was traversing through the hunting area. From every side, dense vegetation covered the ruined city, making it difficult for sunlight to penetrate the area near the ground.
It's been a few hours since Eren had left the safe area of the ruined city. He had already killed a bunch of mana beasts and monsters that ranged from Novice rank to the beginning of Ace rank. He had gotten a bunch of normal potions as the monster-drop and 3240 Titus points in return.
'What was what?'
Tuan asked, confused by Alephee's question. The latter clarified it for him.
'I'm talking about you lecturing that lass so extensively back then. It was as if you cared for her. Or more appropriately, what her image represented in your memory.'
Tuan shrugged his shoulders while he was making his way toward a particular spot. He replied after thinking about things from the past for a bit.
'Um… it's not so much as care but more of paying back for all that "she" had done for me. Yes, I know. They are both two different people. Maybe it wouldn't make sense that I started seeing her in Katalina.
But I don't have to make it make sense. It was just something I did on a whim.'
Alephee seemed to chuckle in his head. The butcher was not aware the gem spirit was capable of producing such emotions. She spoke right afterwards.
'Eren Idril, will you define that feeling as love?'
The butcher was stumped for a bit when Alephee asked him that question. But he didn't falter in his answer. He replied with a mirthless smile on his face.
It was something very similar to it. Too bad, I was already broken beyond the limit within which she could help me. I don't blame her, though.
It's my insecurities that prevented me from taking any steps toward her. By the time I decided to fight the demons in my head, it was already too late.'
