For that Head of the Imperial Academy’s madam to be able to visit the Zhou Manor on the second day, it may not necessarily be because they really valued friendship and integrity that much, and this matter may not necessarily not have someone else’s intervention.
Jing Wan mentioned some things to take note of, and Zhuo Ying Shuang carefully made note of it all, even asking Jing Wan many questions regarding health and skincare. One has to know, while at White Dragon Temple, although she was also very much interested in these things, because of her eyes, compared to Sun Yi Jia and Yuan Qiao Qiao, she wasn’t that passionate about them. However, right now, her eyes were only in the beginning recovery stages, yet she already couldn’t wait. The so called, ‘a woman makes herself beautiful for the one who pleases her’, at certain times, really wasn’t the least bit untrue.
But, always hoping for the person one admires to see one’s most beautiful side is also human nature. Thus, Jing Wan didn’t hide anything either.
However, saying is one thing, but doing was a separate matter altogether. Moreover, just like how it was previously said, the ways that suited Jing Wan may not necessarily suit Zhou Ying Shuang. Because of this, Jing Wan also warned her that she needed to be careful. If in case, she wasn’t able to make herself more beautiful, but instead more worse, then the gains won’t make up for the losses.
But, recalling the care the women here had towards their own appearance, she rather didn’t need to worry too much. They at least won’t use their own face to play a joke.
Because there was a lot to say, so naturally a lot of time was spent. As a result, Jing Wan stayed at the Zhou Manor for the afternoon meal.
Zhou Ying Shuang was still a patient after all, so Jing Wan also worried that if she stayed for too long, she’ll drain too much of her energy. Thus, after the afternoon meal, she just bid farewell.
Just, she never thought that on the way back, she would once again encounter a path blocking tiger. Yet it was no longer Li Hong Yuan, but rather Sun Yi Lin.
Compared to Li Hong Yuan, Sun Yi Lin naturally abided by etiquette much more. In fact, he didn’t even get down from the horse carriage, purely to prevent his own appearance from attracting other people’s attention, and causing a negative impact on Jing Wan. He similarly used an inconspicuous horse carriage with no markings, and parked side by side with the Luo family’s horse carriage. Just one faced eastward, and one faced westward.
Jing Wan sat inside the horse carriage. Towards Sun Yi Lin’s appearance, she more or less was surprised. “Don’t know what brings Gentleman Sun here?”
Sun Yi Lin remained silent for a long while, long to the point where Jing Wan thought he couldn’t speak anymore. When that somewhat hoarse voice of his finally sounded, “This one heard, Miss Luo……has gotten engaged?”
The last three words, Jing Wan almost didn’t hear clearly. It was hesitant and soft, seemingly still mixed with a bit of unwillingness to believe.
Jing Wan blanked. What was this? When did she attract such a peach blossom[1]? It wasn’t Jing Wan being narcissistic for suddenly coming to this conclusion. But rather, in this current society based in Confucian ethics, the etiquettes were precisely so. If not a girl one admired, any man with the least bit of good upbringing, all wouldn’t ask a young lady such a thing to her face. But it was obvious that Sun Yi Lin’s upbringing was definitely first class, so for him to do such an improper thing, he must have regarded her highly. Jing Wan couldn’t help but recall not so long ago, the words Sun Yi Jia said to her. She wanted to let her become her sister-in-law, and also mentioned Sun Yi Lin. Looking at it now, it seems it wasn’t just Sun Yi Jia’s own wishful thinking, but rather Sun Yi Lin actually having such thoughts, and she, just wholeheartedly supporting.
Jing Wan fell silent. Feelings (romantic) were the hardest to understand. Reasonably speaking, it was just Sun Yi Lin one-sidedly liking her, and not her having done something to seduce him, so she completely didn’t need to bother with him. But the problem was, that was someone she knew, and moreover, her good friend’s older brother. It was very difficult to treat it as completely not knowing and brushing him aside.
“Miss Luo possesses a clever heart, so presumably, you understand this one’s thoughts?”
“Apologies.” Jing Wan paused for a moment and spat out such a word.
It directly severed his hopes. Although it was a bit harsh, this kind of thing was the most apprehensive of the sticky and unclear ambiguities. This was the so called ‘to not sever when one should sever would instead cause one to suffer from such chaos’. If Jing Wan, because of such an outstanding man’s admiration for herself, end up messing up her train of thought, and deliberately lead him on, not only is that just disrespectful towards Sun Yi Lin, but it would also be disrespectful towards Chen Zheng Min, and even a form of ‘betrayal’ in disguise. Furthermore, even if Jing Wan had feelings for Sun Yi Lin, she still wouldn’t do anything that went against her principles.
Sun Yi Lin soundlessly and bitterly smiled, both hands covering his face, feeling like a knife was being twisted into his heart. Aching like it couldn’t be more painful. Before, perhaps he’d still only admired this girl, but after learning that she’d suddenly gotten engaged, and will be marrying another man in the future, her life no longer having his shadow, to the extent that even wanting to meet her will all be very difficult, did he truly come to his senses at last. Aside from her, he probably won’t ever be able fall for another woman in this lifetime, and he missed her just like that.
He thought that she was still considered young, thought that since she’d just arrived in the capital not long ago, even if the Luo family wanted to look for a husband for her, they still won’t to come to a decision anytime soon. He thought, with his talent, appearance, conduct, and even family background, when the time comes for him to visit the Luo family to propose a marriage, the Luo family definitely won’t object. Everything will be smooth like flowing water.
Looking at it now, it was all his own assumptions, all him thinking too highly of himself. How could he have forgotten, a truly good young lady will inevitably be sought after by hundreds of families. To have settled for her yet still not make a move as soon as possible, was he waiting for others to come fight and snatch away? Look at how smart that Chen Zheng Min was, only he(SYL) was that stupid!
That’s right, Jing Wan getting engaged that quickly, apart from because of Luo Old Madam’s uneasiness, how was it also not because of Chen Zheng Min, as well as the Chen family, worrying about ‘long nights, many dreams’[2]. They needed to have the treasure securely grasped within their palms before even more people discover. Only that way will one feel at ease.
Just why did it have to be these few days of all days. If only it’d been just two three days later, he could’ve still given his all and strived for a chance. But by the time he found out, it was already too late.
For him to have been able to learn of this matter today, it was all thanks to his servant boy. When his servant boy was out buying things in the streets, he’d inadvertently ran into the ‘flushed with success’ Chen Zheng Min, who was meeting with friends. Because he was being teased by his close friend, he eventually stated the identity of the bride’s side. As Sun Yi Lin’s most trusted person, he naturally was aware of his own young master’s thoughts. This was bad. He practically scrambled back in a hurry to have the news told to his young master.
When Sun Yi Lin heard this news, he just felt as if he got struck by lightning. With that last bit of rationality, he switched to an inconspicuous horse carriage and headed to the Luo Manor. When he arrived, he didn’t directly announce he was looking for Jing Wan either, instead borrowing his younger sister’s name as an excuse. And after learning that Jing Wan had gone out, he pressed down his anxious heart and waited, waiting for a chance to say a few words to her.
But, what could he say? Earnestly hoping that she would also have the same feelings towards him? Yet, in reality, the result he got wasn’t the least bit unexpected. “Miss Luo, sure is heartless……..” But it was precisely because of this heartlessness that made it even harder to give up. If switched with a girl that immediately broke off the engagement with the other side after he expressed his feelings, wanting to join with him instead, afraid he would then disdain beneath contempt. Humans were precisely this contradictory.
Jing Wan remained silent, not saying a word. Being heartless was still better than having too much ‘feelings’. Never mind in this current feudal society, even in her past life, those who believe themselves to be carefree and passionate, in reality, were just frivolous and fickle in love. Those were all what Jing Wan despised the most.
(T/N: It’s very difficult to translate words that have double meaning in Chinese but not in English. The word for ‘feelings’ in Chinese can also mean specifically romantic feelings, given the context, and the word for heartless can also be translated as ‘severing feelings’. And passionate is the same term as ‘having too much feelings’.)
“If, this one is saying if, Miss Luo’s engagement was to be broken, and this one propose marriage to the Luo family, would miss agree?”
“Marriage is by order of the parents and words of the matchmaker.” In other words, that wasn’t something she can decide.
Sun Yi Lin couldn’t tell whether this answer made him happy or disappointed. Perhaps she really did have that sliver of good feelings towards him, just because of the reserved nature of a young lady, she replied with an answer that conformed with etiquette. Or perhaps, she really didn’t care at all, and merely for the sake of preserving his face, didn’t say anything too difficult to swallow.
“This one understands. To have rashly called out miss today, this one was rude, asking miss to please forgive.”
“Not at all, gentleman doesn’t need to be concerned.”
“It’s seldom for Yi Jia to have a caring close friend, hoping your friendship won’t drift apart because of this one’s actions. If that really were to be the case, then this one will truly be unable to forgive oneself even with a thousand deaths.”
“Gentlemen may rest assured, it won’t.” Of course, the premise being that big sister Jia’s intention of making her become her sister-in-law hasn’t formed into an obsession yet.
“If that’s the case, then it can’t be better. Hoping today’s matter won’t cause complications for miss. This one bids farewell.”
After Sun Yi Lin’s horse carriage left, Jing Wan’s horse carriage also slowly began moving, and little by little the speed increased. The two horse carriages were clearly moving in the opposite direction.
“Oh my, never thought that the renowned Gentleman Lin would actually have feelings for our miss?” Qing Ju, from the moment Sun Yi Lin appeared, already had her mouth wide open in shock. Now, she finally could talk.
“Stupid girl, what nonsense are you saying, can’t this mouth of yours just obediently stay shut? What if these words get heard by an outsider?” Qing Zhu almost subconsciously reached out and smacked her.
Qing Ju felt wronged. Her personality was precisely just this, unable to be changed. Because of this mouth, she has no less gotten reprimanded by Jing Wan’s wet nurse and Gong mama. It was also fortunate that she has never said anything inappropriate outside. In addition to having Jing Wan shielding her, she was thus able to continuously stay on the position of a first ranked servant girl. Else, afraid she would’ve long been driven out to go be the firewood servant girl.
“Besides, so what if that Gentleman Lin falls for our miss. With our miss this good, no matter which family’s young master falls for her, it all wouldn’t be strange.”
[1] Peach Blossom – symbolizes romantic love
[2] Idiom meaning that if time is prolonged disadvantageous changes may occur.
