Only two more weeks until the expected tower appearance. Jaehwan was spending time talking with the doctor. They did not talk about the Tree of Imagery anymore.
"Oh, Jaehwan. Why don't you participate in a writing contest? I think the big contest is about to start."
The doctor made the suggestion as he knew that Jaehwan had been attending writing classes in college already. There was a contest that would soon finish receiving novels.
Jaehwan asked back in annoyance, "…Are you serious?"
"Huh? What's wrong?"
"You're making fun of me, aren't you?"
"Haha, I am not."
Jaehwan thought as he looked at the doctor's face. 'This doctor, he must know all about it and still says this.'
Jaehwan answered, "Contest… you would not say that if you've listened to my criticisms. I wrote those novels because you told me to and…"
"Haha. What did the others say to you?"
Jaehwan stopped talking. He didn't want to repeat what he had heard in class, merciless criticism that was too much.
"You have talent. I love your stories."
"How about you write it instead then? I'm sure you are good at writing too."
"Well, if you give me a story, maybe I will try someday."
Jaehwan then laughed.
"Well, how about you use all my stories that you've collected until now?"
Of course, Jaehwan did not mean what he said. The doctor must have known it too. Jaehwan was always serious about his stories. Delusion or not, Jaehwan trusted his world no matter what people said. There was no way that Jaehwan would agree to using his stories for entertainment purposes.
But why? The doctor's face froze for a slight second at Jaehwan's words. It was only for a slight second and Jaehwan did not realize. The doctor laughed awkwardly.
"Haha…"
Silence fell. The doctor looked down at the table and Jaehwan looked out the window.
"The day's coming soon, Jaehwan."
"…"
"Are you ready for it?"
"So-so."
"So-so?"
"It's what it is. It just feels so-so."
The window was foggy from the coldness outside. Jaehwan approached the window and used his finger to draw a spiral tower. The tower drawing looked pretty good with the snow falling beyond the window.
Fear?
Jaehwan had been thinking about it for a while, but he wasn't that certain. What if the tower didn't appear? He was living life here now. Jaehwan smiled. Maybe the doctor had won at last.
"Jaehwan."
"Yeah."
"It's been ten years since I first met you."
Some of the doctor's hair was becoming white. Jaehwan felt the flow of time as he looked at those strands of hair. He had forgotten about it after living for millions of years, but ten years was a long time for ordinary humans.
"Can I tell you what is ironic?"
"What is it?"
"I actually believe in your world. It's not about the possibility. I really do believe that the world exists."
Jaehwan was stunned for a second and scoffed.
"Is that a new joke?"
The doctor shook his head seriously.
"Even if the tower does not appear, I believe that your world existed- no. Exists."
The doctor was serious. He was looking at thick pile charts in a cabinet near the wall. Jaehwan also turned to look in the same direction. There were countless charts with various patient names.
"Recently, I think my treatments were all wrong after all. Treating and fixing other people's worlds… I just thought maybe it was too arrogant of me. How can a man fix another's world?"
"…Are you kidding? Or are you serious?"
"I am serious."
Jaehwan was at a loss for words. The doctor continued, "Maybe it's all thanks to you."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe I was the one who was persuaded by you during our 10 years."
Why now? Why? Jaehwan felt dizzy. He barely was able to adapt to this world and why was he saying that now? Wasn't it his wish for Jaehwan to give up on that world? He had been…
"I am serious, Jaehwan. I believe in that world."
"But why… the tower hasn't even appeared yet."
"I just think that it's not important anymore, whether the tower appears or not."
The doctor was smiling. And from that smile, Jaehwan felt his last 10 years being shaken terribly.
'No. Please don't. Don't speak anymore.'
The doctor kept going.
"As I recorded all your stories and read them… it just came to my mind. Maybe the tower that you are waiting for is…"
Jaehwan then lost his balance and fell, grabbing the corner of the table. The clash then shook the table, dropping piles of charts onto the ground. It was patient charts for Jaehwan. And with the dizziness, Jaehwan slumped down on the ground. The doctor's voice became muddy as if Jaehwan was underwater.
"Jaehwan! Are you okay?"
Jaehwan threw the doctor's hand away. He was looking down at the charts. There were various numbers showing the rate of depression. There were graphs that showed the potential amount of suicide, and graphs that showed inability to adapt to society.
Jaehwan looked down dumbfoundedly.
Graphs and numbers. All those distorted informations began swirling around him. It spun and spun and continued talking to him.
Jaehwan. Jaehwan. Jaehwan. Jaehwan.
It was proving himself. Jaehwan, who couldn't be proven, was now only being proven from those numbers. It made him felt nauseous. He felt like he was going to throw up.
What was this feeling?
Jaehwan then began to vomit. The doctor kept on speaking, but Jaehwan couldn't hear anything anymore. And with the sound of calling a nurse, Jaehwan grabbed one of the charts and began ripping it down.
"Jaehwan!"
The harts were ripped. And from the openings of various numbers and graphs, a certain emptiness began to swirl out. A void that could not be described by any number or graph was there. As Jaehwan ripped those charts, he glared at those empty spaces.
'That was me. I was there.'
It was like an illusion. Jaehwan even forgot the name of that place.
That is… uniq….
Uni…
u…
…
