༺ The North (3) ༻
Ferzen stepped into the hallway and felt the rushing cold after finishing arranging Baron Roberson’s office into perfect symmetry. He then examined the structure of the unfamiliar mansion and walked into the dining room.
“Where is Yuriel?”
However, once he was inside, he realized that everyone had gathered except for one person.
After confirming that Yuriel was really not there, Ferzen asked with a puzzled expression on his face.
If he let it slide, the dinner would be quite a hardship for him as the number of people in the dining room was odd, making it difficult to match the symmetry of hands holding spoons and knives while eating.
“S-she is in h-her bedroom… with…… the d-doctor…”
Baron Roberson, his wife, and Euphemia were in the same situation as Ferzen. They didn’t know where exactly Yuriel was, thus they couldn’t answer his question.
The only one who knew about Yuriel’s whereabouts was Laura, so she quickly informed Ferzen about it without any delay.
“Is she sick?”
Laura responded to Ferzen’s question only with silence. However, that was enough for Ferzen, who had a vague idea of what was going on. He then turned his head slightly and looked towards Euphemia.
Seeing Ferzen’s gaze, Euphemia smiled ruefully and weakly nodded her head.
It wasn’t because Ferzen showed interest in Yuriel. Not at all. It was precisely because, even when he was concerned for a sick person, he was still paying attention to her. It made her realize just how much she had been bothering him and how greedy she had been for his attention.
She had promised to be a good wife for him.
But it seemed like she was still far from being the wife he deserved.
Without even asking for the understanding of the baron and his wife, Ferzen left the dining room and headed straight for the bedroom where Yuriel was staying. He was not someone whose actions differed from his words, so he naturally hurried himself.
Knock-!! Knock-!!
After catching his breath, he knocked on the door. The first person to greet him through the open door was the doctor he had brought with him to accompany Euphemia to the North.
“We-welcome.”
Ferzen walked past the bowing doctor and glanced toward Yuriel, who was lying on the bed.
“Tell me. How is Yuriel?”
“She is experiencing slight body aches due to accumulated fatigue. However, I still prescribed her some painkillers because she was also having a hard time due to her menstruation.”
“…… Is that all?”
“Yes. There’s nothing serious happening in her body.”
Ferzen let out a small sigh upon hearing the doctor’s reply and sent her out of the room.
Creak-!!
As the door closed, Ferzen approached Yuriel and sat down on the bed. When he looked at her, he got a feeling that she was significantly weaker than usual.
……What should he tell her, he wondered.
Ferzen knew very well how much Yuriel desired to become pregnant. Even though she rarely expressed it in words, he could sense the depth of her longing.
She had said that time would solve it and desiring it didn’t guarantee immediate pregnancy.
Therefore, offering her some obvious consolation would be meaningless.
Moreover, he had made Euphemia pregnant as a way to bind her to his side, not simply because he wanted a child.
However, he still wanted to help Yuriel alleviate her insecurities.
Yet, he couldn’t just get her pregnant as a means to an end.
“Do you want to have a light meal? I can tell the maid to prepare it for you.”
“No……”
A faint sadness dripped from Yuriel’s voice as she shook her head in response.
Ferzen reached for her. Her current state reminded him of the last time he saw her this weak. It was on the day he picked her up from the Alfred Family’s mansion.
“I still have a lot of work to do. That’s why…… I didn’t want children right away.”
Ferzen’s words lingered in Yuriel’s ears as he gently brushed her hair.
If you truly didn’t want to have a child because of your workload,
“Why…… Why……”
Did that woman end up carrying your child?
Yuriel looked up at Ferzen as she struggled to prevent herself from crying.
Of course, she understood it well.
Once they entered the Roverium Kingdom, they would have as many enemies as stones on the road.
A mother who was carrying a child would need extra protection. In other words, they would become a weakness and would put many restrictions on his actions.
But if that was the reason, shouldn’t that woman also face the same fate as her?
“……”
Yes, Ferzen’s words were sincere.
There were no lies whatsoever in his words.
However, Yuriel could only see his sincerity as nothing but hypocrisy.
“I know I am greedy…”
“……”
“Trust me, I know… I also know that I’m being impatient…”
But still,
Me and your child that I will bear.
I want both of us to become the heart you need to protect and the place that you will return to.
Moreover, whether it was a concubine or legal wife, she didn’t need such a title.
I just want to be called your child’s mother.
Tears began to trickle down Yuriel’s cheeks.
Seeing her appearance, Ferzen stopped moving the hand that was running through her hair. He stayed silent for a while before laying down beside her and gently hugging her soft body.
“The time for this has yet to come.”
“Heu… Heuk…!”
“My favorite books, my favorite food, my favorite plays… You said you could accompany me through all of my interests.”
However, they still had not gotten the chance to do it together.
That’s why…
“Why don’t we watch a play, read a book, and share our thoughts on it with each other?”
Moreover,
“Why don’t we spend the day eating delicious food?”
On top of that,
“Let’s have a deep discussion about the theory of elemental magic, sometimes long enough for us to stay up all night.”
When the two of them become the parents of a child,
They would not be able to enjoy those things.
Even though he was her husband, he was still her man.
His wife, but still his woman.
A married couple, but still lovers.
How about enjoying the happiness that each other can be greedy for?
Ferzen gently patted Yuriel’s trembling back as he whispered sweetly in her ear.
“Heu… Heuk… Huaaaaaaaang!”
Yuriel let out a pitiful cry that seemed to contain all her grievances as she buried her face in Ferzen’s chest and held the hem of his clothes tightly.
Why did this wide, strong chest that always accepted all her childishness feel even warmer today?
Even though she knew that Ferzen would not leave her, Yuriel still clung to his arms like a child. At the same time, she kept repeating certain words over and over again.
“I love you, I love you… I love you…”
Though it began as a premeditated confession,
If it was real, how can it be called an illusion?
“I… I really love you…”
Ferzen von Schweig Louerg.
“Okay.”
And I…
“I love you too……”
Yuriel Wayne Dayna Louerg.
* * * * *
“Is that so?”
Inside the room, which was filled with the faint smell of milk, Euphemia sat alone in her bedroom, gazing out the window as her doctor informed her about Yuriel’s general situation.
Yuriel’s menstruation had finally come.
To be honest, Euphemia found it difficult not to feel a sense of joy rising in her heart upon hearing the news. However, when she looked at the situation from a woman’s perspective, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for Yuriel.
Compared to herself, Yuriel had everything that Euphemia could only dream of.
She found it ironic that such a woman felt inferior to her just because she was impatient about something that time would naturally resolve.
After all, even with all the time in the world, Euphemia would never gain what Yuriel already possessed.
With a bitter laugh, Euphemia acknowledged her mixed feelings. She held some animosity towards Yuriel, who yearned for something that she herself lacked, yet at the same time, she felt pity for her.
‘……A woman in love becomes even more beautiful than before.’
Those words were not entirely true.
For when a woman was loved, they could become the ugliest and dirtiest being in the world.
Therefore, to conceal that ugliness, they would make flowers that were more beautiful, bloom.
And for her, she must ensure that her thorns remain hidden, so that they never pierce Ferzen.
* * * * *
First morning in the North.
When Yuriel opened her eyes, she felt that the corners of her eyes were swollen. However, she couldn’t help but smile weakly.
Carefully, she raised herself up, making sure to not disturb Ferzen, who was sleeping next to her. From a very close distance, she looked down at his face.
Even now, with her eyes closed, she could still hear his voice whispering the words ‘I love you.’
…Before becoming her husband, Ferzen had wanted her to fulfill his goals.
It was hard to believe that those romantic words, which tickled Yuriel to the extent that they made her blush, came from the mouth of this domineering and brusque man.
Thanks to those words, she felt her impatience melt away like snow in early spring.
She thought it would be fine for her to relax a little from now on.
Yuriel couldn’t believe that a simple phrase like ‘I love you’ could wipe away all the bitterness she had harbored, just like a summer night’s dream.
But perhaps it wasn’t that simple.
Because mortal beings called humans, who always lived feeling incomplete and lacking, could only find two certainties amidst the continuous uncertainties of life.
The two situations were when they became aware of their mortality and when they loved someone.
“I love you…”
Yuriel’s voice, barely audible, carried her deep affection towards him.
She knew that from today onwards, she would always feel warm whenever she felt the northern morning winds blowing.
TL note: 2/20
Well, speaking of stuff cause we like to talk bout stuff right?
Anyways (I just had this conversation on discord, and this mf used Regardless, Like okay fancy pants, I can say big words too okay?)
Hans Zimmer is the goat.
Listening to his tracks are my fav pastime, just hearing ‘A Way Of Life’ or ‘ A Small Measure of Peace’ (Well considering that The Last Samurai is my fav movie ever in the history of my life………..)
