༺ Mood (2) ༻
Renee noticed that Vera was acting differently than usual today.
There was an unusual air about him that was hard to put into words.
It wasn’t that it was bad.
Instead, he was looking prouder than ever.
He seemed to be excited about something as well.
Could it be that Vera was going to tell her the words that she had fantasized so much about in her dream?
Could it be that he was trying to answer her feelings?
Those thoughts flooded her mind.
As her mind raced with these thoughts, Renee began to act differently from her usual daring and reckless antics.
It really felt as though she had returned to that day three years ago, when simply being close to him was enough to make her heart burst. Her entire face began to blush.
The two remained silent as they walked through Eirene’s downtown.
They just walked hand-in-hand through the frigid northern wind.
A biting wind breezed past their skin.
But the two, lingering in silence, felt a rise in their temperature.
It felt like their heart was on fire, and their whole body trembled along with their heartbeats.
“…Aren’t you cold?” Vera asked.
To that, Renee replied with her head down.
“I’m okay. How about Vera?”
She said in a barely discernible whisper, but Vera’s hearing was fortunately keen enough to pick it up.
“I am strong enough not to be affected by these winds, so please don’t worry.”
“Hm, right, Vera is strong.”
Renee tightened her grip on his hand.
Renee couldn’t stop mulling over the words ‘Vera is strong’ as she felt his large hand intertwined with hers.
Perhaps due to the strong impact those words had on her, Renee struggled to keep it off her mind.
Vera wasn’t much different.
Vera had the same thoughts as Renee right now…
No, he had slightly different thoughts.
Today was the day he needed to take the initiative, so he couldn’t afford to be completely consumed by his emotions.
Vera continued to organize his plan, calming down his pounding heart and checking off his to-do list
‘We’ll have dinner first, stop by the dessert cafe, then rest in the square and head to Lake Tennern.’
He had been up all night the past few days trying to plan everything out, so he was feeling fairly confident about it.
‘…I will confess my feelings in Lake Tennern.’
A lake that was known as a winter-breaker as it never froze despite being located in a cold, northern region.
He rented a ferry boat there so he could confess on the boat.
Vera felt at ease only after going over his entire plan again.
‘It’s perfect.’
It was pretty good.
There was no need for grandiose music or cheers from others.
What mattered to him the most was the mood when he confessed his feelings.
As he was deep in thought, Vera, who realized that they had arrived at the restaurant he had surveyed before, said to Renee.
“We’ve arrived. They said that the food here is very special, so you can look forward to it.”
Renee flinched.
She answered quickly like a new recruit in the military.
“Ah, yes!”
Renee’s heart beat like crazy.
However, Renee tried to calm herself down, thinking that she might be too hopeful, and followed Vera’s lead into the restaurant.
***
It went surprisingly well.
At least, Vera thought so.
They had an excellent dining ambiance, and the dessert cafe’s refreshments tasted very luxurious.
What about the square?
It had been quite lively, effectively covering any potential awkward moments between him and Renee.
So all that was left to do was to confess.
Now that they had arrived at Lake Tennern, he had to get on the boat, go to the center of the lake, set up the mood, and put the ring on Renee’s hand.
He was sure that was the only thing.
“…It’s cold.”
Something wasn’t right.
A restlessness grew on his face as he scoured Renee’s expression.
Her expression soured.
Compared to before they left, she looked noticeably sadder.
Everything about Renee’s expression threw him off balance.
There was one thing that Vera did not take into account.
The idea of surprise was that the other person wouldn’t know what was coming until it actually happened.
That being said, it was hard to predict how the other person would react until that moment.
That was the case… from Renee’s perspective.
Looking at Vera, who was acting differently from the start until now, she had unknowingly raised her expectations.
She soothed herself not to expect too much, but it was futile.
Who in the world had complete control over their feelings, after all?
Up until their dinner, she could hardly contain her excitement.
She thought that was the preparation to set up the mood.
When they came to the dessert cafe, she thought that it might be still a little early.
Wouldn’t it make sense that no one confesses in the middle of eating?
She then headed to the square while still feeling excited, only to be let down when Vera did nothing but act strange.
Perhaps she misread him.
Renee, who didn’t notice Vera’s nervous and excited expression, thought to herself.
‘I knew it…’
Renee absent-mindedly followed Vera’s lead onto the boat, let her body feel the swaying motion, and resumed her thoughts.
‘…This can’t happen all of a sudden. It’s not like something else has happened in the meantime.’
What kind of development had Vera gone through for him to move past his distrust?
Renee, who was not yet aware of it, soon came to such a conclusion.
‘I must’ve been too hasty. Maybe I’m being too greedy again…’
She concluded that she must be feeling impatient even though she knew that Vera was very attentive and a worrywart at that.
Well, I have to be considerate of Vera.
I shouldn’t look dejected in front of Vera, who prepared all of this for me today.
While she thought about that, Renee’s expression gradually clouded.
Vera was very confused when he saw Renee like that and hurriedly added.
“It’s Lake Tennern. The only lake that doesn’t freeze in the north, where even the moisture in the air will freeze on its coldest days. There was a legend about a winter spirit who fell in love with a human and prevented the winter from coming to the lake so the human may visit her in all four seasons…”
He tried to pique Renee’s interest in a more casual way at first, but it failed miserably.
It was because Vera had never been in love.
Vera only knew how to set the mood theoretically.
Because Vera was like that, he ended up making a mistake.
Renee’s expression didn’t seem to brighten.
That only made Vera even more anxious.
Thud—
The ring case he had kept in his arms until just then fell at Vera’s feet.
Vera’s pupil shook.
“Vera?”
“…I apologize. I dropped something I was holding.”
Vera’s voice trembled a little as he struggled to get over his shame.
Only then did Renee realize that Vera was flustered right now.
No, was it true that he was flustered?
It seemed more like sadness for some reason.
Renee’s expression clouded.
She clenched her fists tightly.
After a moment of silence, Renee forced herself to smile and said.
“…I’m sorry.”
“Pardon?”
“I have an awful expression, right? It’s just…”
Renee knew better than anyone else that she was sulking right now.
How could she possibly not? She always teased Vera, so Vera saying ‘out on a date’ could also be a joke as well.
She took things at face value and was disappointed after getting her hopes up by herself.
“It’s just…. I was thinking of something else. That’s why I…”
I’m sorry.
I didn’t know that you were joking.
She thought everything would be fine if she said that. She thought it would be a good time to laugh it off and enjoy their short outing now.
Renee was flustered that it didn’t go her way.
“..Ehem, um, well, it’s like that.”
She stammered with an awkward smile.
Only then did Vera realize his mistake.
‘I…’ he thought.
For the whole day, he was too busy setting up the mood to even look at Renee.
He forgot why he was here.
He was so caught up in the act of ‘confessing his feelings’ that he failed to see what he needed to see.
Wasn’t he planning this for Renee?
It wasn’t a plan for his own achievement.
Vera clenched his fist.
The innocent ring case was crushed in his hand.
‘…Who cares about this thing?’
Did I only think about giving this?
Vera lifted his head.
He looked directly at Renee.
He tried to open his mouth, but…
“…”
When he took out the ring from the equation, he had nothing to say.
It was like that.
It was supposed to be a confession for her sake. The ring was just a means to an end.
But when he looked back on it, he realized that the speech he had prepared was merely an introduction to the ring – a presentation of its functions and uses, much like a salesman describing a product.
Thunk—
When Vera let go of the ring case from his hand, the case rolled under Vera’s feet.
Vera threw away all the prepared speeches that he had in mind.
‘This isn’t it.’
This wasn’t what he needed to do.
What he truly needed to do was respond to the love that had been directed to him for so long.
“…Saint.”
“Yes?”
“In truth, the reason I brought the Saint here today is because I have something I wanted to say.
She tilted her head.
Renee, who had already concluded that Vera wasn’t going to confess, did that because she couldn’t grasp any other meaning in his words.
Vera looked at Renee and concocted the words in his head again.
I like you.
I’m sorry for making you wait so long.
I’ve finally been able to face my heart straight on.
I know it’s too late, but I want to convey my feelings.
Thank you so much for waiting.
I’ll make sure that your wait won’t be in vain.
His head was filled with words, but none of them could satisfy him.
He felt something was missing and that his words weren’t genuine enough.
Vera reflected on himself.
His feelings, the oath that was engraved on his soul.
After looking at everything, he looked at Renee again.
Only then did Vera realize why he wasn’t satisfied with the words that came to mind.
The name of that emotion was love.
That was as clear as day.
However, he put too many layers on top of that simple word.
In the end, it all came down to a single word.
No matter how he tried to phrase it, all of it circled back to that.
How could he expect her to be happy when he wrapped that word in so many complexities?
He overcomplicated it to the point that Renee couldn’t even begin to unwrap it all.
Vera began unwrapping all those self-imposed layers one by one.
He laid bare his deepest flaws and drew out his raw emotions.
It was very childish, but that was precisely the essence.
Human language was essentially an extension of their childish emotions, no matter how hard they tried to wrap it up in a pretty packaging.
Vera reached out his hand and placed it on top of Renee’s hand.
“…Saint.”
In that moment, Renee felt something akin to intuition flow like an electric current down her spine.
There was no other way to express it; it was pure intuition.
As such, Renee didn’t know why she felt she did.
She simply thought that something was going to happen, and her expression started to crack as her mind was yet again seized by a thrilling fantasy that screamed, ‘Could it be?’
She blushed, her lips parting ever so slightly.
Her eyelids were opened wide, revealing her crystal-clear blue eyes in their entirety.
Vera found himself in those eyes.
Only now did he fully realize that he was reflected in her eyes.
Slowly, the trembling Vera opened his mouth.
“I have something I really want to say.”
He held her hand tighter.
“It’s… what I’m saying is…”
His words trailed off and he clenched his teeth.
He took a deep breath.
Then, he exhaled and finally continued.
“…Saint, excuse me for my rudeness.”
The innermost feelings that had surfaced were conveyed through words that seemed woefully inadequate.
“I… like you.”
Still, he conveyed it with the utmost sincerity to reach the depth of her heart.
“Very much, Saint.”
T/N: JUST CALL HER BY HER NAME!!!!! AAAA WHY CAN YOU DO IT IN YOUR HEAD BUT NOT HERE???
