t1v: Last month I was dealing with a sudden death in the family and was busy with a funeral and was very overwhelmed. So I was behind on chapters and this month should be a normal number of updates. Thank you for your understanding in advance and my apologies for the inconvenience and going MIA.
“What are you trying to say? I don’t like this.”
“I’ve never done anything you didn’t like. Can’t you endure and bear with me for once?”
He massaged his forehead. It was because he knew that Elisha’s expression was not a joke.
“If you only wore that shabby seduction outfit like when we first met.”
“… … .”
“I still would have noticed you. No matter how ugly of a woman you are. To be honest… … I think so. Sometimes I lose my reason and logic in front of you.”
Elisha was convinced he was lying. Power entered her clenched fists. She tried to tell herself that this feeling was not right. After all, he did nothing wrong.
‘As expected, harboring any emotions should be avoided. It will be my loss.’
It occurred to her that her relationship with Lucerne should be tidier. This was a marriage for survival, not for playing love games.
Of course, Lucerne will want to flirt with her, tease and disturb her. It is a natural instinct of those of the Cartier family. If there was something to suck and loot, it was their nature to steal everything.
Lucerne knew instinctively. That Elisha retained and did not give him a corner of her heart. He would want to take that away and get an edge with a perfect upper hand. It was something that he couldn’t help. It was the nature of a man with power.
‘I have to pull myself together.. I can’t fail anymore, I can’t show myself like this.’
Elisha became depressed. He noticed that sign quickly.
“What the hell is wrong, Elisha?”
“… … .”
“Look, I am turning a blind eye to as much as I can. I’m pretending not to know as many things as you want.”
Lucerne turned a blind eye to her even when she was suspicious. He was letting others see her beauty in broad daylight. He was doing anything to appease her.
Nonetheless, after all his hard work, Elisha was about to retreat into her shell again due to an unexpected incident. It made Lucerne feel like he could not take a deep breath; his chest burned and made him anxious. She had an excellent talent for disturbing his composure.
“What more do you want?”
“You don’t listen to what I really want. Why do you speak as if you are so lenient and generous?”
She told herself she had to keep her mouth shut. But at that moment, her turbulent heart vomited out her true feelings. Inside the carriage with the curtains closed, Elisha’s one cheek was stained with shadows. The side of her face had been marred with scars in her previous life.
“What do you want?”
Her words touched the limits of Lucerne’s patience.
“Going out into the world and getting love letters from strangers?”
“Don’t be sarcastic.”
“… … Now you’re giving orders.”
He clicked his tongue
“Go on.”
At those words, Elisha was silent. She touched her cheek. She calmed down when she felt there were no scars.
‘Should I apologize? What the hell is wrong with me?’
And there were a few beats of silence.
Noticing her complexion, Lucerne eventually opened his mouth first.
“Stop testing me. The result is the same though. I am not bewitched by you.”
“I suppose so,”
Elisha said quietly.
“How dare I seduce a great man like you. I’m afraid of what would happen if you really liked me.”
“If I became sincere with you, you would spend your whole life looking at the sky beyond a window sill. Be grateful that I like you moderately.”
His words pricked and shook Elisha like a blade. So she overlooked the fearful meaning behind his words.
She’d rather have him tell her that she was just a means to an end. She didn’t want his clumsy possessiveness to shake her. Lucerne was trying to buy up all of Elisha for the least amount of cost possible. He was trying to consume her whole without giving her his heart.
“Thank you for your generosity.”
“Yes.”
Lucerne whispered.
“I cannot deny that I am becoming more and more indulgent towards you. I’m still going easy on you but I’m keeping an eye out.”
“… … .”
“Sometimes I wonder where you and I will end up.”
Elisha knew that if anyone else had raised his suspicions this far, he would have never let it slide. So she couldn’t say anything.
Silence again. Only the clatter of the horse’s hooves and the rolling of the wagon wheels resounded like tinnitus.
“If it had been one of my Seeds who had received such a trap letter, one of them would have died.”
Lucerne leaned over.
“But I can’t do that in front of you. Are you satisfied now?”
It was as if someone was gently scratching her heart with a needle. Suddenly, Elisha stared at his face.
“Lucerne, did you know everything?”
“What?”
Lucerne asked quietly.
“The household head would send me a present. And Illione would take me to the ladies’ meeting.”
Elisha recalled this hunting festival. Numerous riches and the loyalty of knights. Honor and praise of people. Envy. It was a gift box-like event with all those emotions mixed together. It was very unusual. Lucerne usually didn’t like Elisha going out among people.
“Lucerne. Were you trying to tame me?”