Mom and Dad came home with an expected guest for lunch: Dr. Moore. The three of them came into the living room, surprised to see the three of us watching some spring baseball game. Probably even more surprised to see Zeke.
Dad frowned at him. "You're not skipping class, are you?"
"Not one that takes attendance." Zeke answered, more honest with his dad.
Mom glanced at Dr. Moore. "We didn't know he'd be here. And we definitely don't condone skipping classes."
Dr. Moore let out a small laugh. "Don't worry. I'm not the type to judge. Although I believe going to class has a lot of benefits; an occasional skip can do some good for young people's mental health." He smiled at Zeke. "How are you doing?"
"I'm in an adjustment period right now." Zeke told him.
Dr. Moore nodded. "Sounds like you're very self-aware." He looked to Mom and Dad. "I would like a moment with Jake alone, if you guys don't mind?"
The room quickly cleared.
Dr. Moore sat on the same couch as me. I moved to give him more space.
"Well?" I asked after a moment of silence.
Dr. Moore cracked a smile. "Well what?"
"Aren't you going to say something to make me feel better?" I asked. Dr. Moore always had words of wisdom for me. How could he just come up empty-handed now?
"You're already feeling better." Dr. Moore pointed out. "I could tell when I walked in. You looked so relax, just sitting with Zeke and your grandfather. If you're comfortable, there isn't much more I can do."
"What about..." I trailed off, not willing to mention the bat drama.
"You just give it some time." Dr. Moore reached out to pat my leg. "It may not be quick, but you'll move on. I've seen so much improvement in you already." He paused. "If you want, I can recommend trying out a desensitizing therapy."
"What's that?" I asked, confused.
"It's targeted for those with PTSD, phobias, and/or anxiety." He explained. "Basically we would use other stimuli to get you used to what you fear. Work our way up to you being fine with using that kind of bat. Honestly, you're already doing it on your own without being intentional about it. The first step would be being around the bat. You do that constantly. You watch your brothers, friends, and teammates use the bat."
I nodded slowly. "What-what would be after that?"
His smile slowly faded as he became serious. "Of course, touching the bat, holding the bat, etc. There's a lot to consider before taking that next step. Like, will this really be helping you? A baseball bat isn't an everyday item. Do you even need to? Do you want to? From what I understand, you do just fine with a wood bat. Which is used at the professional level."
"Not in college though." I pointed out.
Dr. Moore slowly nodded. "Yes, that's a point to consider." He looked at me directly. "I know you're a little sensitive when it comes to thoughts on the future though. So many considerations. But you have a lot of time."
I slumped, pulling on my blanket. "Can't things just stay as they are now?"
Dr. Moore let out a chuckle. "We all have a time or two where we want to hit the pause button. How about we let things be for now? You use the bat that you like. You don't have to do anything extra. Next year, you'll be an upperclassman. Then you'll have the option to revisit this issue."
I shrugged. "So I don't change for now?"
"You do it without noticing as it is." Dr. Moore stood back up. "Kids like you...are resilient. You'll bounce back. You're already on the mend. Anytime you want to talk about anything, you can find me at the school."
"What about your original office?" I wondered.
He fiddled with his glasses. "I'm actually thinking about shifting to working strictly with high school students."
"Oh." I was taken aback. "Why?"
His look was more pointed. At me.
"Because of me?" I asked, shocked.
"A good portion of the switch would be from hearing your story. How the school system failed you. But you aren't alone. There are so many impressionable young minds being abused and having no escape. If I could help more like you..." He let out a sigh. "Maybe I would feel like the world is going to be a little bit better."
I couldn't really understand. But I was happy for his choice. "My old schools didn't have someone like you."
"That should start to change." Dr. Moore lifted his hand. "Stop by and see me tomorrow just so I can be assured."
"Sure." I nodded and lifted a hand to wave back.
Dr. Moore left the living room, presumably to go find Mom and Dad. Zeke came back first, alone.
He leaned against the door frame. "Want to get out of here before they start to hover over you?"
I tilted my head. "Where would we go? To lunch?"
He nodded. "Yea. Lunch. Get some exercise in." He must have seen my look of panic, because he started to laugh. "Good exercise. The cages." He emphasized.
I relaxed for a second, but then tensed up again. I lowered my voice. "I don't know if we should... Won't Mom and Dad want me home instead?"
"You want me to stay here and listen to their lecture about skipping school?" Zeke scoffed. "Hurry and get dressed. I'll get your bag from the garage. Meet me outside. I'll be in Rhys's car." He walked away not giving me a chance to say no.
I only hesitated a second before flipping the blanket off of me. It's not every day I get a chance to go to the cages. Without the twins complaining and bugging Noah to catch for them in exchange. This was a good deal.
As I came back downstairs, I could hear Mom and Dad still talking to Dr. Moore in the kitchen. About him converting to a school psychologist full-time. I eased up on my steps the closer I got to the front door. I had a feeling they didn't know Zeke and I were going out.
The front door made the smallest of sounds but it felt like a whole freakin' announcement to the world.
"You're not running away, are you?" Grampa caught me red-handed.
I quickly let go of the door. "No, I-" I glanced outside and saw Zeke already sitting in the car. "Zeke-he-" I didn't know how to explain myself.
Grampa chuckled. "That boy... No matter how mature he acts, he's still the same little hellion he was as a kid." He pulled out his wallet, and grabbed some money out. "Okay, don't worry, I'll tell Mary and Wayne. You boys go have some fun." He stuffed the money in my hand and gave me a helpful push out the door. He closed it right behind me before I could say thanks.
I went to the car and got in the front passenger seat. "Grampa saw me..."
Zeke started to drive. "Oh yea? What did he say when he let you go?"
"Something about you being a 'hellion' still like when you were a kid..?" I looked up at Zeke, skeptical.
Zeke's lips twitched. "Don't listen to that old man so much." He caught sight of me holding some bills. "Did he give you money too?"
I nodded and held out a mix of denominations. "Yea. He said to have fun and that he would tell Mom for us."
Zeke smiled. "Okay. Maybe you can listen a time or two."
