“Why is this bastard so heavy?”
Lampion grumbled with all his heart. He was searching for a campsite with Demian still asleep on his shoulder.
There were traces of wild boars here and there, but that much was nothing to Lampion. He spread out a mat under a large tree nearby and laid Demian on it.
“Why are you sleeping so much, you little brat. Is there… really something wrong with you?”
Lampion poked Demian in the face. He even rubbed Demian’s side with his big fingers.
Originally, Demian would have opened his blue eyes wide and scolded him. But somehow, let alone waking up, his heart was beating slower. As if he was falling into a deeper sleep.
“Get up now, bastard. I don’t know what the saintess is up to now. We don’t know why she’s having such complicated thoughts with her little head.”
Lampion wanted to get Demian to Lara as soon as possible. So even if Demian had fallen into a deep sleep and could not get up, Lampion still tied him up on the back of a horse and ran without a break.
“I’m going fast. I hope we can join them by the time we get to the mountain range.”
Once it became nighttime, Lampion stopped the horses and began to prepare for camp-out. He hummed, if Lampion had realized earlier that Lara’s party consisted of sleepless demons, he would have tried to wake Demian up and kept going, even if that meant beating him up.
Sitting under the tree where Demian was thrown, Lampion tied the two horses and lit a small bonfire.
“Well! I’m tired.”
‘Who should be on night watch?’
Lampion was troubled for a moment. If Oscar and Domino were present at that time, they would have taken turns looking around. But Lampion was the only one awake now. He wished Demian could get up but there were still no signs of him opening his eyes.
“Well, who’s going to take that ignorant fellow anyway? Let’s just sleep.”
Lampion thought that Demian's blue eyes sucked so much that no one would kidnap him. Of course, it might still be a little dangerous for himself because of his cute face and nice muscles. But there should be no problem then, he could just quickly run away if something like that ever happened.
Lampion laid down on the blanket and closed his eyes. Then, he snored and fell into a deep sleep.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
“Demian.”
Demian was wandering inside his subconsciousness. There were times when he felt like he was fast asleep and times when he felt like he was dead. But at some point, he realized that his mind was completely intact.
He could think and observe. He could imagine and recall. It was a place where all kinds of memories flowed like waves. It was beautiful. For him, beauty was only something that Lara had, but he had to admit that this space too was beautiful.
Various colors harmonized, they flowed into light and darkness with numerous memories swimming leisurely within them. Like a fish with a light, or like a flexible arrow. They flowed very slowly, or sometimes, they flowed too fast to be seen. And sometimes, they went against the flow.
Demian stretched forward with what he thought was his hand. Nothing was seen or caught, but something ticklish glistened and touched his fingertips.
It was a memory of some sort.
A Barbarian was looking at the corpse of a big demonic beast, he looked troubled. Next to him stood a boy who seemed to be barely ten years old. In his hand was a small sword that did not reach his elbow, it had blood dripping off of it.
What the Barbarian caught was only a plump little bird. However, while he was on a bird hunt, the boy caught a boar-type demonic beast. The Barbarian could only cough awkwardly after seeing the demonic beast.
‘You can’t eat this, you’ve been hunting for nothing. A bird is much harder to catch than a boar. We’re going to eat this bird today. I’m still stronger than you.’
The quiet Barbarian was especially talkative that day.
The boy just silently cleaned the bird as the man told him to and took the boar away.
This was his memory. Demian nodded. He did not actually move his head, but he thought he nodded. That Barbarian was the one who picked Demian up on the battlefield, the one who raised him.
Thinking about it again, Demian remembered such a day. It was a regrettable day for him. Because from that day on, the Barbarian had told him to keep watch equally too.
Another memory came.
This time, Demian felt a little thrilled. A blazing gleam of light ran through the waves and reached his sight.
Slap!
He felt a pain that could make him come to his senses. With bloodshot red eyes, Lampion was slapping Demian in his face. His eyes were torn and bleeding. Still, Lampion did not stop and continued to beat him. So did Oscar and Domino, who stood beside him like a totem pole. One of Oscar’s hands was cut off and Domino was so badly injured that he could no longer fight. They were blocking Demian from going to war with all the strength in their bodies.
“Doing this won't bring that woman back alive! She’s dead! She walked with her own feet into the place where Prince Sidhar told her to go! That spiteful woman swallowed poison on her own and died!”
Lampion cried and shouted. The Demian in that memory did not listen to his comrades at all. Even after getting beaten by Lampion, he only moved forward like a broken doll.
“Leave him alone now. He must want to die.”
“Domino!”
“We did our best.”
“That’s not it… This bastard is our King. A King must not abandon his people! We, the Barbarians, have sacrificed a lot for that madwoman!”
“Really, is it because of her? No, it’s because we wanted to fight. As long as we live on this continent, war would be an inevitability, anyway. I will die fighting. You’re free to run away.”
Leaving behind the quarrel between Lampion and Domino, Demian left the barracks and walked to the battlefield full of blood and flesh. Then, he met Prince Sidhar, who had become the demon’s servant.
Will she come back if I kill you?
That’s what Demian seemed to have asked. His lips mouthed those words out, but he could not hear a sound.
Who should I kill to get her back? Is it God, the world, or me?
Then, another memory floated by the current.
It was a very strange experience to be able to look at his own memories randomly. Demian’s subconsciousness was a record.
While looking at the memories flowing at different speeds, Demian moved his body. At first, he walked, then, after he got used to walking, he ran. Then, at last, he was able to swim freely in his subconsciousness.
Demian thought. If this was a space where his memories were stored, then there must be memories of Abraxas too. Because they were one and the same.
As soon as he realized that, his vision expanded. God’s memory was so massive with no end in sight. The subconscious was where the existence of God was recorded. Being a mere fragment of God, it was a world that was too vast for Demian to take away.
It was terribly spacious.
It was horrifically far too much
It was so overwhelming that he felt helpless, as if his very existence had disappeared.
And thus, God was such a being. But there was no way Demian could give up. Inside that space, he began to struggle for only one person.
“I trust you.”
Lara.
He heard her voice.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Early in the morning, Lampion woke up startled by the sound of his own snoring. When he woke up, his nose was stuffed. As he slept without even pitching a tent on a cold autumn night, his throat was dry and his whole body was chilly. He wondered if he had caught a bad cold, one that was never in his dictionary.
Still, Lampion hurried and got up without being lazy. A few sprints would make the cold better. Besides, he was on a mission to bring Demian quickly.
“Yo-ho! Eat this.”
After feeding the horses that had been quietly waiting for him all night, Lampion walked over to Demian, chewing on hard jerky.
“This bastard should be okay, he doesn’t catch colds, right?”
Even if Demian was thrown into the snow in the middle of winter, he would still be sleeping fine. Lampion wiped his runny nose with his sleeve. Then he lifted Demian up and rested him on his shoulder.
“It can’t be helped even if it’s uncomfortable, bastard. You’re only sleeping after all.”
From Lampion’s shoulder, Demian was thrown like a hay bale to the back of the horse. In order for him to not fall while the horse was running, Lampion tied him up with a rope and even covered him with a blanket.
With Demian’s face covered, Lampion felt like a trafficker. If that bewitching face was revealed, Lampion was sure someone would misunderstand and chase after him.
“What kind of trouble is this! You madman, you sure have a flashy unrequited love!”
Lampion got on his horse and grabbed the reins. The horse that carried Demian followed behind him.
“Shall we go?”
Demian clenched his fingers hard while it was sticking out of the blanket. No one witnessed him, however.
