The guilty remain silent.
And so, Reinhardt said nothing, merely observing the situation.
Ellen, too, walked without speaking.
As a result, they maintained a reasonable distance from each other, with Ellen walking a bit ahead and Reinhardt following behind.
The festival would last until the weekend. Even though it was nighttime, the main street was still filled with bright lights. They walked uphill, near the royal class area, and looked at the night view as they went.
They walked for a long while.
While they didn't run together, both took this route on their daily morning runs. Consequently, they were familiar with the place, even at night, and knew where each path led.
They walked down a road they both knew well.
At a bench atop a hill with a beautiful view, Ellen sat down first. Reinhardt carefully took a seat next to her.
"I didn't tell you to sit."
"Ah, I, uh..."
At Ellen's words, Reinhardt was startled and stood up as quickly as he had sat down.
Ellen laughed as she watched the flustered Reinhardt.
"What does it matter whether I told you to sit or not?"
"Well... uh... that is..."
"Just sit."
He looked incredibly serious as he observed her every move. It was as if he had committed a grave offense.
Ellen gazed at the night view of the temple while Reinhardt hesitantly sat beside her.
Had Reinhardt truly done something so terrible?
Why was it a mistake?
Ellen couldn't precisely explain the reason.
However, she felt as if the entire world had abandoned her. It was sad and heartrending.
In reality, that wasn't the case.
The entire world had chosen her, and only one person had abandoned her.
Why did it feel as if the whole world had left her behind?
It was probably because Reinhardt was her entire world.
Ellen looked at the petals falling before her eyes.
No.
They weren't petals.
"Snow..."
"...Yeah."
It had started to snow without them realizing.
The snowflakes, like white flower petals, fell gently from the sky.
It wasn't a particularly warm and friendly situation.
Not knowing what to say to each other, and fearing that a single wrong word could wound both parties.
Reinhardt didn't know how to explain his situation.
Ellen didn't know how to describe her pain.
Both were afraid that even a slight miscommunication could escalate into a major conflict. So, they remained silent.
In the end.
Who are you?
What are you?
What are we, exactly?
When those words are uttered, they know they can only hurt each other.
So, they don't speak.
On a snowy winter night.
Ellen and Reinhardt sit on a bench, quietly letting the snow fall upon them.
The cold day prevented the snow on the ground from melting.
As soon as it hit the ground, the snow was swept away by the wind.
In this way, it drifted to a corner, piling up.
That's the nature of snow.
"..."
"..."
What are we, really?
How did it come to this?
Where did it all go wrong?
Ellen tried to think back, but she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when everything started to change.
Was it during their first swordsmanship class when Reinhardt was knocked unconscious by her practice sword?
Or when the unconscious Reinhardt woke up and invited her to try some bizarre food she had never seen before for lunch?
Was it when Reinhardt started meddling in her late-night snacking habits?
Or the first time he cooked a meal for her?
Or perhaps when she couldn't bear his constant interference and began teaching him swordsmanship in return?
Or maybe after their harrowing journey to the Darklands?
As Ellen retraced their history, she realized that there wasn't just one starting point. Countless moments had accumulated and snowballed into something bigger.
Snow keeps piling up.
Piled-up snow can be shoveled away.
But the time that has passed cannot be cleared.
That's why the moments tagged with Reinhardt's name have accumulated in the space she calls her heart.
Piling up.
Until Ellen's heart was full of moments marked with Reinhardt's name.
Now, she wished she could hate him.
But she found it difficult to do so.
Even if she filled the remaining spaces in her heart with resentment and bitterness towards Reinhardt, there was already too much filled space.
She wanted to hate him, but she couldn't.
And it was strange.
She knew it.
Even though Reinhardt couldn't say it, he felt deep remorse.
His hands and face turning red to the point of swelling, aimlessly wasting time outside.
He must feel sorry for causing her distress again, for not being able to explain anything about it.
Ellen was the one who felt hurt.
But for some reason, it seemed to her that Reinhardt was suffering more.
He seemed tormented by his inability to even apologize.
Ellen couldn't help but wonder what was causing Reinhardt so much pain. But as always, Reinhardt wouldn't tell her.
"You didn't have to come see me."
"…What?"
Ellen said that.
"You didn't really have to come see me."
Ellen quietly repeated her words. They didn't owe each other anything.
"So… don't feel too sorry…"
There was no need for Reinhardt to feel obligated, no need for him to feel such guilt over not fulfilling that obligation, and no reason for Ellen to feel hurt.
Reinhardt stared at Ellen silently.
It's not that she was unfazed.
He looked at Ellen, who pretended to be unfazed.
-Wham
"Ah."
Suddenly, Reinhardt embraced Ellen.
"Just… get angry…"
"…"
"It's scarier… and more regretful… when you hold it in…"
"…"
Although her mind told her there was no reason to be angry, her heart couldn't help but feel hurt and upset.
Could we be close enough to get upset and feel hurt by such things?
Ellen couldn't be certain.
However, Reinhardt was embracing her.
It only made her feel colder.
Having been outside for so long, her body and hands were chilled. Being embraced like this only made Ellen feel colder.
Yet, despite shivering from the cold, Reinhardt continued to hold her.
She didn't know what had happened, but he seemed so remorseful.
As if he was suffering even more.
If it was this bad, it must have been something he truly couldn't avoid.
Ellen convinced herself of this.
People don't always understand what can be understood.
They understand what they want to understand.
Ellen wanted to understand Reinhardt right now. So, she accepted deep down that there must have been an important reason.
Seeing him in such pain, she convinced herself that there must have been a significant matter.
Inside Reinhardt's cold embrace, Ellen gritted her teeth.
His shirt slowly dampened.
"I'm... hurt..."
"I'm sorry."
"I... worked... hard... I prepared... so much."
As Ellen trembled slightly and choked out her words while crying, Reinhardt held her tightly.
"Even though... I looked... everywhere... You were... gone... I asked... you... to be... there..."
"I'm sorry..."
Even as she cried, Ellen thought:
It should be Reinhardt who needs comfort, not me.
Yet, she couldn't stop her tears.
Tears are like that, after all.
It was a deep, dark night.
Having cried for a long time, Ellen pulled away from Reinhardt's embrace.
And then, she stared blankly at the temple below.
"..."
Reinhardt didn't say what had happened, and Ellen didn't ask.
Of course, Reinhardt was restless.
After crying for a while, Ellen suddenly stopped and stared blankly at the night view. Wondering if her heart hadn't completely calmed down, or what she should do.
In reality, it was the opposite.
Ellen gritted her teeth.
Not because of anything else, but out of embarrassment.
Once her emotions subsided, she realized what she had done.
She had been so devastated that her friend hadn't come to the beauty contest, as if the world was ending. Now, she finally realized what she had done.
He might not have been able to come.
Now that she felt better, it was Ellen who found the situation difficult to bear.
That's why Ellen couldn't say anything and stared blankly at the night view with a stiff expression.
Why had she felt so empty and lost over something so trivial? Now, she couldn't understand it.
Reinhardt wasn't there.
That was why she felt as if the world had abandoned her.
Now, Reinhardt was by her side.
Just that fact alone was enough to comfort her.
Ellen glared at Reinhardt out of the blue.
Now that she felt better, she couldn't help but be a little spiteful.
"Uh, um... Why? Is there something... you want to say?"
Reinhardt, still bowing deeply, stuttered as if he would do anything she asked.
'I need you to be there for me.'
Seeing his face again was enough to dissolve the spite that had risen within her. Ellen stood up from the bench.
Snow was falling.
Considering Reinhardt's ice-cold body, he couldn't stay outside any longer.
"Aren't you cold?"
"It's fine, I can handle this much."
As they walked again, Ellen examined Reinhardt.
"You've been outside this whole time."
He had already been waiting outside, cautious not to be noticed, and must have been even colder as they walked around.
Reinhardt seemed to be fine, just walking along.
"You can go inside if you're cold."
Ellen said that, worried he might catch a cold.
"...I just want to be here with you like this."
"Ah."
At his words, Ellen felt her heart skip a beat.
It seemed like such an ordinary thing to say.
He had probably said something similar before.
Yet now, she couldn't help but read into every word and thought.
Ellen wondered if she was going insane.
Just moments ago, she had felt so lonely and miserable, as if abandoned by the world.
But now, she felt an odd sensation, as if she owned the whole world.
Could a person's mood really fluctuate this wildly in an instant?
Could one person feel like their entire world?
When that person smiles, I feel good.
When that person likes me, I feel good.
Is it okay for my every emotion to stem from a single person? Is it okay for the master of my life to become someone other than myself?
The two walked through the snowy night streets.
As they approached a downhill slope, Reinhardt glanced at Ellen and said,
"Be careful. You might sliiiiip!"
-Thud!
"????"
As she watched Reinhardt, who had fallen on his back on the slope while warning her not to slip, Ellen tried to help him up.
-Slip!
"!"
-Thump!
In the process, she slipped as well, landing squarely on her bottom.
"…What are we doing, you and I?"
"Indeed…"
The two got up and dusted off their bottoms.
While maintaining a proper distance, they walked through the snowy night streets.
From the bottom of the hill, they could hear the sound of people bustling amidst the brilliant night view of the main street.
Even at night, the 24-hour shops sold food. Ellen alternately gazed at the distant night view and Reinhardt.
"…Do you want to go?"
With her cheeks flushed, Ellen nodded quietly.
"…Yes."
Ellen said.
It wasn't that she specifically wanted to go at this time, but rather that she wanted to go precisely because it was this time.
A night with the first snowfall.
Because they were together.
"If you want to go, then we should."
The festival's finale was drawing near.
Not the Last, But Close to the Last Night
However, it was only now that Ellen felt as if the festival had just begun.
Only at this last moment, when she could finally be alone with Reinhardt, did Ellen truly feel the festival.
Although midnight had passed, Main Street was still bustling with people.
Drinking was not allowed within the temple grounds, but as it was the festival season, the streets were filled with sights and entertainment to enjoy even late into the night.
Of course.
-Om nom nom
For Ellen, it was mostly limited to eating.
"This is delicious."
"Uh, yeah."
With a chubby expression, Ellen handed a skewer of rice cake to Reinhardt, who ate it silently.
The emotion that was similar to anger but not quite had already subsided. However, Reinhardt still thought of himself as a sinner and followed Ellen without saying anything.
It wasn't exactly a warm atmosphere.
The two wandered the streets, looking at various sights, watching street performances, and eating food from street vendors.
Naturally, Ellen was a bit special today.
“Isn't that her, that person?”
“Huh? Seems like it.”
Reinhardt couldn't help but hear the murmurs from the people around them.
As a group of men and women approached cautiously and blocked their path, Reinhardt frowned.
"What do you want, blocking someone's way...?"
"Aren't you Miss Temple?!"
Taken aback by the sudden question, Reinhardt froze, while Ellen calmly nodded.
"Yes."
"What?"
"Uh, no wonder... Even in casual clothes, you seem to shine!"
Looking at Ellen, who calmly admitted it, and the noisy crowd, Reinhardt felt dumbfounded.
"You... Did you win?"
Reinhardt mumbled in disbelief, and Ellen's lips began to curl up, seeing his shocked reaction.
"...Would it be wrong if I did?"
"No, no. It's just that..."
Annoyed, Ellen strode ahead, leaving Reinhardt behind.
A warm cup of lemon tea was enough to appease the sulking Ellen.
"Well, I didn't think you'd fail, but you didn't say anything, so I thought you didn't make it."
"I got it."
The two sat on a bench, sipping warm lemon tea. Ellen had not only been at the contest venue but also in the actual parade, so there were quite a few people on the streets with keen eyes who recognized her even in casual clothes.
Though no one approached to speak directly, many whispered as they passed by.
“Isn't that Miss Temple?”
“I guess so.”
“And the guy next to her? Her boyfriend?”
“...Damn.”
“...What's the big deal about feeling sorry for her?”
“Who's saying what?”
“Come on, she's Miss Temple and even a Royal Class.”
“Really?”
As they passed by, everyone had a word or two about Ellen, and by extension, Reinhardt couldn't help but hear a word or two as well.
Ellen's mouth twitched for an entirely different reason now.
"Annoying."
It seemed that she found it bothersome for people to recognize her. Ellen paid no mind to such things.
She thought it was only bothersome because people recognized her, nothing more.
Miss Temple of this year, who wore a pure white dress while receiving the cheers and applause of countless people, was now wandering the winter streets at night wearing a black tracksuit. She blatantly showed how much she disliked being recognized.
Ellen glared at Reinhardt.
"It's all because of you."
"Uh... I'm sorry..."
Reinhardt looked helpless under her glare, as if he had only caused side effects without fulfilling her wishes.
Feeling annoyed by people recognizing and whispering about them, and occasionally being approached, Ellen and Reinhardt left the main street.
As it was nighttime, there were far fewer people once they left the main street.
Since it was snowing, a little bit of snow piled up on their heads and shoulders.
"Miss Temple... Congratulations on your victory."
"...It doesn't mean anything."
"Is that so?"
Ellen, who had participated in the contest for a different reason, didn't particularly want to hear congratulations, especially from him.
As they walked in silence, snow accumulated on their shoulders and heads.
"Just stay still for a moment."
"...?"
Reinhardt, who had been walking for a while, stopped Ellen and brushed off the snow on her shoulders and head.
Just as she was about to walk away again, Ellen looked at Reinhardt's shoulder.
There, too, snow had piled up.
He brushed the snow off her without even considering brushing off his own shoulders and head.
It seemed he hadn't thought of it.
He could see the snow piled on Ellen's head and shoulders, but he didn't consider that there would naturally be snow on his own shoulders too.
So, Ellen looked at Reinhardt, who couldn't brush it off.
"...Why?"
"..."
This time, Ellen brushed off the snow on Reinhardt's shoulders and head herself.
Then, Ellen spoke quietly.
"You're a fool."
"...Really?"
Reinhardt, puzzled by her sudden comment, matched her pace as she walked ahead.
Reinhardt was a strange fellow.
"You're strange."
"...I hear that a lot."
Ellen walked silently.
"I thought you were strange from the beginning, and I still think you're strange now."
"Is that so?"
Ellen exhaled a white breath and took a sip of her lemon tea.
Perhaps because she had been holding it for a while, it was a bit cold.
"But the strangeness I felt when I first thought you were strange, and the strangeness I feel now when I think you're strange... They seem so different."
"..."
Reinhardt, who would pick fights and butt heads with anyone, was strange.
However, as time went by and she got to know more about Reinhardt, he was a much stranger person now, but in a different sense than before.
"If only you weren't such a strange person. I sometimes think that, but…"
Ellen sighed as she looked at Reinhardt.
"If you weren't so strange, this wouldn't have happened."
Ellen muttered as if talking to herself. She averted her gaze from Reinhardt and looked forward again.
"Did you want to come today?"
"Of course, I…"
"Don't be vague."
Ellen stopped walking and turned Reinhardt to face her.
And looked straight at him.
Ellen's gaze seemed to be asking for a clear answer.
Their relationship had always been filled with ambiguous words.
They had always tiptoed around the truth, afraid that something might break if it became clear. Reinhardt and Ellen had a strange relationship – neither something nor nothing.
They tried to make something clear, but when Reinhardt couldn't come, it became vague again.
Still, she wanted to be certain about this.
While looking straight into Reinhardt's eyes, Ellen seemed to be urging him not to avoid answering.
She asked directly.
"Did you want to see me today?"
"…"
She wouldn't press him about why he couldn't come.
She wouldn't ask what had happened.
She wouldn't mention the sadness and sorrow anymore.
Ellen demanded a clear answer.
"Yes."
Reinhardt nodded.
But Ellen didn't plan to stop there.
"How much?"
At that question, Reinhardt stared at Ellen.
After much hesitation, Reinhardt finally seemed to give in.
He opened his mouth as if confessing.
"…I think I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Not being able to come today."
"…"
A lifetime.
Regret.
Regret isn't a pleasant word, but the combination of the two words had a somewhat comforting resonance.
A lifetime.
You are someone who can have an impact on my entire life.
It was as if she had heard such words.
"Shall I show you?"
"Yes."
Seeing Reinhardt's immediate response, Ellen couldn't help but burst into laughter.
His expression was so foolish.
He really wanted to come.
He really couldn't come because he had no choice.
No need for countless excuses and reasons.
The answer that jumped out at a single question of whether to show him, and the foolish expression.
That expression completely wiped away the last lingering resentment Ellen had.
The two returned to the dormitory.
"It's weird."
-…How weird is it?
"I can't put it on by myself."
-Ah... I see.
In her room, Ellen tried to put on the dress she had worn today but ended up in a complete mess.
She couldn't tighten the corset by herself, so the dress looked like it had been hastily put on and abandoned.
She had said she would show him, but on the way back, Ellen realized something was wrong.
It was a dress that Liana had originally helped her put on. So, on the way back, Ellen realized she couldn't even wear the dress properly.
Despite thinking she could somehow manage, once back in the dormitory, she struggled and realized it was impossible to put on the dress she had worn today in her room.
It was not Reinhardt who was swept away by the atmosphere, but Ellen.
All her worries about not having makeup on and her hair coming undone were pointless.
It was a dress she couldn't wear by herself.
And since it was dawn, she couldn't wake Liana, who would be sleeping.
Looking in the mirror, she saw herself in a mess, the dress merely draped over her body.
She couldn't show him this.
"…"
In the end, her last attempt had turned out like this.
She couldn't show him.
Ellen was unreasonably upset.
Angry, she stomped on the floor.
-Thud! Thud-thud!
-Why, why are you doing that?!
"No, it's nothing."
Ellen, full of irritation, tried to take off the dress she had hastily put on.
Of course, a dress is not only difficult to put on but also to take off.
-Snap!
Eventually, Ellen tripped and fell.
"…"
-What on earth is going on?
