Somehow, I felt like I could obtain my answer from this woman.
What could be capable of gluing absolute strength with the Identity of a person intact?
Was it a great desire for even more? No, that would only sink the person into more despair.
Could it be emotions such as revenge or desperation? No, once the focus of those emotions was eliminated, everything that was achieved by such feelings would be rendered meaningless.
Then... what was the answer?
"It's Love."
"....?!"
"There is a saying that love conquers all. I don't believe in childish fantasies, but... it's Love that has kept me together all this time. I am strong, happy, content, excited, satisfied... stable... because of Love."
It sounded like the ramblings of a delusional being. But, I couldn't deny the effects of what she said.
She truly believed what she was spouting to me.
"I love Neron. That's the only reason I've made it this far."
'But, that makes no sense? Love is only an emotion you feel towards a person you have a strong attachment to! Eventually... even that would be—!'
"I know it may seem silly to you because you're young, but... eventually your desire to avoid solitude will rise even further."
The desire... to avoid solitude?
Those words struck a chord within me.
"Maybe you'll experience it sooner than you think—the desire to dedicate everything to someone."
Everything she was saying opened the door to the locked memories within me.
"You'll want to go stronger, become better, strive to never lose yourself... just for that person."
An image flashed in my head—no, two did!
'Ah, there was a time... when I really believed that too, wasn't there?'
Unfortunately, everything went up in smoke. It was precisely because my ambition couldn't coexist with the concept Serah was preaching to me.
My love for Magic and my commitment to a partner could not coexist. Unlike Serah, whose mold was the latter, I knew what attempting both had caused me in the past.
"Does Neron feel the same way?" I asked the question out of the blue.
My sharp inquisition surprised us both. It was enough to make Serah's face falter for a moment.
"I... don't know."
Then her words began to make less sense to me. If he didn't feel the same, then what was the point of even having such emotions?!
"If that's the case, then—"
"But I won't give up! I don't want to give up!" Her sharp voice shook me for an instant.
Something stirred within me, but I failed to grasp what it was.
"It's something I've had for as long as I can remember. I won't give up now. I want to keep going. I know one day my feelings will reach. Till then, I won't fall. That's what has fueled me for so long."
My heart began pounding quickly.
'This woman... she's the same as I am.'
I failed to comprehend her words to me before, but I finally understood them now. The confusion clouding my heart began drifting away.
"That feeling of desiring something... will grant you the strength to keep going—no matter what!" Her smile broadened even further.
I couldn't help but agree wholeheartedly.
Why?
Because I felt the same way. After all... just as Serah was dedicated to her Love for Neron, I too had a similar commitment.
—Magic!
How could I have forgotten?
In the first place, wasn't that what I wanted? I wanted to explore every nook and cranny of the concept.
There was only one emotion strong enough to fuel that desire for two lifetimes.
'It's love! I love Magic!'
Serah was right, after all. Just as she loved Neron and would keep striving till she reached her goal, I too... couldn't let up now.
'I won't give up too!'
"Thank you, Serah. I think you just opened my eyes to something I have been too distracted to see."
The woman's gaze rested on me with mold surprise and amusement.
"You have someone who is the object of your dedication?"
I nodded slowly.
"And I'll do anything to reach it."
"Good. I look forward to seeing the kind of man you'll become, Jared." She nodded.
"Thanks for your words. And don't worry... I haven't forgotten about our promise. Your feelings for him have touched me so much. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you two end up together!"
"Really? I can't wait!"
We spoke like little girls, smiling stupidly as we continued conversing.
I had a goal when I entered Serah's room that night, but we both ended up discussing many things—especially concerning her past with Neron.
**********************
Apparently, she first encountered him when they were about five years old.
She was referred to as a genius and was the strongest person her age.
Her family hosted a party when she clocked five years old, inviting nobles from all over the Kingdom.
Neron was the adopted son of a Viscount who lived in the boonies. They both attended the party.
Their first meeting was bland. Unlike the many individuals who showered her with praise and affection for her amazing talent, Neron did nothing of the sort.
He simply lazed around in the party and ate their free food and took their wine—even though he was underage.
Serah caught him in the courtyard, all alone, simply snacking on more food and wine. He actually ditched the party and was enjoying the cool night breeze.
Serah, who had been slightly irritated with him, finally made an outburst.
To her surprise, Neron ignored her and said something no one had ever told her before.
"You're a bother."
That was what caused the last vestige of self-control within her to vanish.
"I'll kill you!" She had screamed when she activated Magic.
Serah had always been a violent child, so she impulsively attacked Neron.
Even if she ended up injuring, or killing the boy, her family could always cover it up. Besides, they had someone who could utilize Resurrection Magic, so if she was careful they could revive him.
Besides, even if they couldn't, he was a mere adopted child. A commoner like him was of no consequence to the Crimson Household.
But...
"Is that all you can do? How boring..."
... Neron Kaelid was completely unharmed.
