After taking a deep breath, Lilith exhaled the air out of her lungs. Her eyes gained a new resolve as she finally came to a decision.
"I am sorry."
"Mom...!"
Lilith ignored the expression of surprise etched on her daughter's face, "I have already apologized many times during our last discussion on the tower after I told you the truth of your origin."
Lilith closed her eyes and leaked a rueful sigh, "All I ever wanted was your good. All I ever wished was for you to grow strong and survive in this world alone, without needing anyone's help. I wanted to prepare you for the time I would not be there to protect you anymore.
"When I realized that I didn't have much time left to live, I was happy to know that you hated and despised me. I thought that my death would be less heavy for you if you were to hate and despise me like that. Rather than pain, you would only feel relief by my disappearance from this world. I couldn't hope for a better outcome for my child."
She leaked another sigh, "I am sorry. I was stupid. I was blinded by my nihilistic emotions and only thought about things from my perspective. I said that I was making things easier for you, but in reality, I was the one taking the easy path out because I did not think I could be a good and loving mother to you, my child."
"Mom..."
"I am sorry. When Neptune gave me the opportunity to have a child, I jumped at it with little to no hesitation whatsoever. You were... are my responsibility. You never asked to be born in this cruel world, and since I wished for you to come into this world, it was my duty to raise and bring you up with as much love as possible."
Tears fell from her eyes again, but Lilith wiped those tears away roughly, without letting them fall from her face, "The last time I made the discussion between us all about me, even though it should have been about you. I am happy and proud of the woman you have become, even though I was not the best in guiding you.
"You are not a monster. You were not unwanted, and you are definitely anything but untalented."
Her hair fluttered slightly as she spoke those words to her, and her voice was a little bit hoarse. If possible, she wanted to even kneel and beg her for forgiveness. But she knew that such a display would only be an insidious way of pressuring her daughter to accept her whims.
"I am sorry for all the pain I caused. I regret it so much, and I wish I could change everything. But... I cannot, and hundreds of thousands of apologies would not change the pain I have inflicted on you, my child."
This was the simple reality of their current situation. Talking was cheap. A perpetrator could easily apologize, but whether the apology would be accepted or not depended on the victim.
"The mistakes I committed are things that will haunt the two of us for a long time. I do not ask you to forgive me now. I would even accept it if you never forgave me. This is your right, after all. But please... I beg you... Just give me a second chance."
This time she could only lower her head to the ground, not being able to face her daughter anymore. Her frazzled hair covered her face entirely, and her fists were tightly clenched as they nestled on her lap.
"I... If you really decide that you are much better without me, I swear to never bother you ever again."
She would only stay away and take care of her from far away. Protecting her was the only thing she could not let go of.
"If you decide to forgive me, to give me a second chance, I swear to give my all in not making you regret that decision. I would do anything for you to forgive me."
"Anything?"
Lilith looked at her daughter at those words, but Lilin simply looked away, not daring to look at her mother's messy visage, "When you say anything. Would you give up on your life?"
"I cannot. This life does not belong to me alone anymore."
Lilith gave a sad smile, "Be it you, Sol, Isis, and all the witches. This life was brought about by taking too many gambles. I can never give up on it, ever again. Doing so would be an insult to each and every one of you."
Even though her eyes were still red, and she even sniffled slightly every now and then, the strength and conviction in her eyes as she delivered those words were unmistakable.
Lilith did not fear death. Never did and never will. She once sought death and even accepted it with open arms.
But now... She could not die. If she thought before that her life was worthless, the life she had now was the result of the effort of too many people.
Lilin nodded her head and spoke, "Of course, asking you to die would be too much for me. If it's so... Then what about your sword? Would you give up on your sword?"
This time silence fell in the room.
Lilith looked once again at her daughter, and all she could see was dead seriousness.
She opened her mouth before biting down her words. She felt like thorns were tearing apart her throat, making her unable to speak.
The sword... In a way, this could be said to be even more important for Lilith than her own life. The path of the sword was one of the first things that truly belonged to her in this world. Her love for the sword was simply indescribable. It transcended mere emotions and had become a part of her existence already.
Could she give up on it? Could she really swear to never hold onto it?
Lilith closed her eyes painfully, but in the end, simply released a sigh, "I will."
She loved the sword. This was her path, the one thing that had illuminated her life for a long time.
But... Lilith remembered the moment when the true light of her life entered her life. She remembered the feeling of joy and fullness she felt as she gave birth to the beautiful girl in front of her.
Lilin may not technically be her daughter. She was more a clone of her than anything else. But how did it even matter to her?
She had her in her stomach and gave birth to her after many struggles. She brought her up and watched her grow all the way to her current state.
She was far from a perfect mother. She made many mistakes. Some were worse than others. While some were so horrible that she was not even able to reminisce about them without feeling suffocated in her heart.
Lilith was her daughter. This was a simple and absolute fact she would never budge on.
She loved the sword... But she loved her daughter even more. She was the reason for her existence, in a way...
A gentle smile graced her lips, and the tension in her shoulders seemed to have vanished completely once she came to that realization.
"I will."
The same exact two words had been delivered as a few moments ago, but the feeling behind those words was completely different than before.
There was no reluctance in her eyes. No longing, and Lilin could see this clearer than anyone else.
Lilin just bowed her head, never having felt so ashamed when she realized the significance of what she had asked from her mother. And the shame she felt only intensified when she realized that Lilith was ready to give up one of the most precious things in her life... only for her...
"I need to get some air."
She stood up, ready to flee again as overwhelmed as she was by the emotion,
But she soon stopped after taking a few steps.
Her back was now facing Lilith, who remained still and unmoving in her seat.
Lilin thought about the future. If she fled at this very moment, things would be no different from how they unfolded during their last discussion at the tower.
Whether she accepted to have a better relationship with Lilith or not. She had to make things clear as procrastination would only bring more sadness to both of their lives. She had to make a decision right now...
"I really don't know what I think about you, Mom..."
This was why she decided to speak. She was feeling confused about what to feel for her mother...
For Lilin, her mother was both an object of immense respect and worship and also an object of unequivocal fear and hatred.
"I am sorry for asking you to give up on your sword like that. I shouldn't have done that..."
She had gone too far and acted completely entitled by asking her mother to do such a thing. She did not wish to make Lilith feel even more miserable than what she was feeling right now. She took no pleasure in seeing her mother suffer, no matter how much hate she felt for her.
"Do you..." She hesitated slightly before muttering in a soft tone, "Do you really think the two of us can have a normal relationship?"
Was it even possible for the two of them to go back to being normal mother and daughter? After more than 18 years of negligence and misunderstandings?
Lilith felt her heart skip a beat at her question. She knew that this was a chance for her. Maybe, the final chance for her to resolve their relationship. She hurriedly stood up and talked to Lilin's back.
"I don't know. I really don't know. Perhaps even if I try being a caring mother, I will fail miserably. But... I will still do my best. I will put in every bit of effort I can muster to make things work between us..."
"I see..."
Lilin nodded and started leaving the tent, causing Lilith to look down dejectedly.
"Tomorrow... Could you please teach me your new sword style then?"
Lilith looked up; her eyes widening in surprise and almost shouted her next words, but she was able to keep it in somehow, "Yes!"
Lilin had already left, but Lilith knew that her words had been heard.
Her heart swelled with happiness as she sat back, almost not being able to believe that this was the undeniable reality.
In the end, all she could do was bow down and tear up slightly as both relief and happiness filled her heart.
