Jack couldn't tell how long he had been in this void. The pain came and went. It was unbearable when it came. But when it was absent, a different kind of torment replaced it. Emptiness.
Jack could no longer see the black mirror, the void, or even himself. He had lost his vision. Not only that, he lost all his senses. He couldn't hear, smell, taste, or even feel any touch. It was as if he had lost his physical being. All that was left was his consciousness.
He panicked at first. Because without a physical self, there was nothing he could do but think. What good was a thought if he couldn't transform it into action? It's no different from a dream that never realized. So, he just floated in this sea of nothingness for seemingly forever. He couldn't gauge any sense of time here. He even wondered if he had died a permanent death. Was this what happened when one died? Nothingness?
The thought unsettled him. He wouldn't be able to stand such an existence for eternity. If there was nothing after death, shouldn't his consciousness be gone as well? Why did he still have this sense of self and the thought that tormented him?
His series of thoughts were disrupted by the occasional pain that tore his very essence. This cycle of pain and emptiness gave him a certainty that he was not yet dead.
He tried to piece together what had happened before he came to this place. He remembered there was a war. What the war was about, he couldn't remember. His memory was hazy. He also remembered a pair of dark eyes filled with malice. He couldn't tell who possessed those eyes. He had a feeling those eyes were the one responsible for his current state.
He took a deep breath to calm himself, before realizing he did not need to breathe. He possessed no body here. All that was left was his mind.
The cycle went on and off. During the time of emptiness, he tried to think about why he was in this state. He thought perhaps if he could know the reason, he could figure out a way to get out of this place. However, after hundreds or thousands of cycles, his memory was still the same as before. Hazy, fragmented, and distant. It was as if whatever was before was several lifetimes ago. It remained beyond his grasp.
After what seemed to be an eternity of torments, he finally accepted his fate. Perhaps this was all he had to live with from now on. The thought was horrifying, but he somehow made peace with it. After another period of torment, he let his mind rest, like truly rest. He was no longer worried about what came before or what would happen after. He entrusted everything to fate.
Some words came to him as he let this peace embrace him, "You have to fight to cut your path. But sometimes, you should just let fate take you on a ride. Because… fate isn't all bad. Sometimes, it takes you to a better place even when it seems that the road is hard and hurting. Sometimes, it is okay to just let go and believe."
He didn't remember who told him this, or when, or where he had heard this statement. It didn't matter. It just sounded right at this moment. So, he let go. He gave all of himself to the void that surrounded him.
As he did, he felt something. He couldn't remember what it was, but it felt familiar. He felt as if he was communicating. Not with words, but with sensations. He felt there was something out there trying to communicate with him. He didn't understand their language but let them approach, because he felt no malice from them. What he felt from them was… curiosity, and familiarity. He felt like he had been in touch with whatever they were but never truly understood them.
As he let his consciousness come into contact with whatever this something was, he felt as if the shroud that clouded his mind slowly lifted. Pieces of memories returned to him, slowly. It started with the memory of when he was in a queue in front of the Trigitech building. What was he in the queue for? He couldn't remember at first, but then it came to him. Oh, right… The second world's beta test.
Then, as if watching a slide, pieces of memories came and went, letting him remember what had happened before.
"A new world…? A game world? World Maker? Master? John? Jeanny? Everlasting Heavenly Legends? Paytowin? Grace…?"
The memories seemed to come at a breakneck pace. He couldn't make sense of them at first. It was like watching a fast-forward recording. The memories started to connect, making more sense. The sensation of what he was experiencing came to him then.
It was mana. This sensation was the same as when he did the training in the attempt to fuse with mana. During the past training, he never truly fused with mana. They came as close as possible but then scattered as if shy animals. This time, it was different. He sensed that they were already one with him.
During the moment where he lost himself, he became empty enough to not drive the mana away with his convoluted thoughts. He was as if an empty cup, ready to be filled. The mana filled themselves into him.
He couldn't describe the sensation he was currently experiencing. He felt complete. There was nothing to be worried about. Everything would be fine. He had never felt more peaceful than what he was feeling now.
This peace was Mana's message to him. They didn't communicate with a language but with sensations. This sense of peace was like the sensation a mother gave when she was cradling her child. A feeling of safety and comfort that nothing in this world could hurt him.
He opened his eyes then and saw the faces of his friends staring back at him with wide eyes.
