༺ Beware of the Deer (3) ༻
They had irregular branch-like antlers.
Plop— Plop— Plop—
Seeing these animals rushing toward me with their antlers pointed in my direction gave me goosebumps. If I got hit by any of these antlers, I just might get some glorious holes all over my body.
“Damn it, come one by one, you fuckers!!”
It was a critical situation.
Although I was holding a sword, my brain was full of hesitation about whether this thin thing would work against these deer’s muscular muscles and their huge and sharp antlers.
“Long live the Sun!”
『Insufficient task points.』
“This fucking hell— Damn it!!”
Crash— Crash—
In the end, the deer horde struck my body using their crazy momentum, and the impact from the crash— a crash so strong that I was loudly breaking all the branches in my way, made me dizzy.
I thought it was going to be the end for me…that I would die after having a hole drilled into my body, but fortunately, my crocodile leather jacket was much thicker and tougher than I first thought.
Despite the antlers not penetrating my body, it was still hurting as if they actually did and I couldn’t help but let out a few screams of pain.
“It hurts so much! Y-you, antler motherfuckers!”
Crash— Crash—
Fortunately for me, the deer got their antlers tangled with each other after rushing towards me and struggled to move for a while.
This situation reminded me of an old fairy tale where a boasting deer tangled his antlers with a tree branch and ended up being stuck. I, however, couldn’t find it in myself to laugh at such a situation when it was causing me to be trapped too.
“Luna, save me!”
I hollered while trapped inside the prison of antlers. I was crouching on the floor, too afraid of the idea that I was about to be crushed to death by these deer’s front paws.
At that time, Luna, who was watching the situation from the tree, took something out of her raincoat and threw it toward the ground.
“Hassan! Cover your nose!”
It was a bamboo-textured wooden water bottle.
The bottle spun in the air and soon dropped near me, where the deer were huddled together. The liquid inside was sprinkled all over the head of these fucking animals.
“What the hell is this smell?!”
I thought I had become resistant to mild smells thanks to the environment I grew up in. But this liquid smelled so terrible that I wasn’t even able to think straight while my nose felt numb.
I couldn’t stand the pungent and spicy smell of this abominable liquid, my nose feeling like it was burning.
Tears overflowed, and my nose became runny, it reminded me of CBR training.
“It’s so pungent!”
“Nose! I told you to cover your nose! Anyway, it’s Habanero pepper oil that the deer hate! Hang in there and everything will be fine!”
I didn’t know what that Habanero pepper oil or whatever was but It smelled so pungent that tears were leaking out of my eyes like a broken dam.
Therefore, these fucking deer also couldn’t withstand this pungent wild scent and started to plunge their heads into the ground.
Seeing these motherfuckers suffer more than I did, I suddenly felt a little energized.
“Fuck! Serves you right, you motherfuckers! I have already said I’d kill the first one coming at me, didn’t I?!”
I thought I shouldn’t miss this chance. I tried to swing my sword at the necks of these fucking deer, who fell on the ground and floundered about. That was the moment when–
“H-Hassan, don’t! Don’t kill it!”
My hand stopped in mid-air at Luna’s voice.
“Why? What do you mean I shouldn’t kill it?”
“T-The deer in this forest are sacrificial offerings to the goddess Diana…! I don’t know what punishment you’ll get if you kill them carelessly!”
Due to my nose and mouth still tingling from the abhorrent smell, I was not in the right mind to understand what a sacrificial offering meant or what it even was in the first place.
However, one thing that I was sure of was that these deer belonged to someone and should not be killed without their permission.
Damn, these motherfuckers struck me hard enough to send me flying, but I wasn’t even able to kill them? Even the rules in Yu-Gi-Oh were slightly more lenient than the laws of this damned world.
“Shit, so I just don’t have to kill them, right? Come here, motherfuckers!”
So I put my sword back into the sheath and clenched my fists. In the next moment, I swung my fist as hard as possible to hit the head of the first fucking deer who stampeded my body with its antler.
Whack—!
Kurrrr— Purrr— Sob—
The one that I hit with my fists floundered miserably and let out a pitiful sound.
Motherfucker, you had struck me so hard before with those pointy antlers, and now you’re acting weak? Of course, I wasn’t soft-hearted enough to be fooled by this cowardly trick. I was the cold-blooded Samaritan, after all.
Therefore I used both of my fists to hit the head of the deer floundering on the ground.
Plop— Plop— Plop—
I heard the sound of hooves kicking on the ground from somewhere, and in the next moment, my body started levitating in the air.
“Ackkkk!”
Just when the landscape in front of my eyes changed instantly, the grip of gravity soon caught me again, and I plunged to the ground like a meteor.
Thus my waist and back hit the ground so hard that I could only make a painful groan without even being able to scream out loud.
“A—ugh—”
I thought these fucking deer were all incapacitated by that habe-whatever chili oil. I held back the feeling of pain and opened my eyes to see what was happening.
My eyes were drawn to a deer whose pale amber-colored fur shone with dazzling brilliance.
Its antlers were also soaring high in the air, and its magnificent appearance made it evident that this motherfucker was the boss of these deer.
Then I heard Luna’s voice coming from the tree.
“H-Hassan! That’s the one! That is the deer who ran away with my money bag!”
“Huh? Damn it, so that’s the punk, huh? All right, I will make sure to catch him!”
So I endured the pain that was wracking all over my body and got up from the floor. The deer was looking down at me with a very arrogant and aloof gaze.
Somehow I felt disregarded and mocked by that haughty gaze, making me inwardly boil with rage. I couldn’t believe that a mere animal dared to look down on me.
“Meteor Swarm!”
I pretended to grovel on the ground for some time as I secretly clenched my fists to grab some stones, pebbles, and sand from the forest ground. I, then threw the rubble at that fucking deer, catching him off guard.
This move couldn’t be called cowardly as using your surrounding environment and the tools at your disposal to achieve your goals was the result of the accumulation of centuries of human wisdom.
Purrrrk— Purrrk—
At the same time, when that fucking thief of a deer was flinching due to my surprise attack…
Step— Step—
Not losing this chance, I kicked the ground and jumped high in the air. Then, I grabbed its nape, held it in between my arms, and began strangling it with all my might. I planned to suffocate this beast until it lost consciousness and then bring it to the guards!
Tightened—
I mustered all the strength in my body to strangle this motherfucker.
However, as a dastardly deer who acted like the leader in the wild and extorted money and valuables from people, its strength wasn’t on an ordinary level at all. It started jumping around wildly while I was still hanging and holding onto its neck.
Purrrrk— Purrrrk—!
Bang— Bang—!
This fucking deer smashed my body against trees and rocks in an attempt to make me lose my hold around its neck and drop from its body. Damn it, how could a mere deer have such a level of wisdom?
I felt like I was going to let go of my hand at any moment because the pain started throbbing violently in my waist, back, shoulders and arms, but I was never going to give up. Instead, I even tightened my arms around its body to cement my hold.
“Keuuuhhh, Keuuuu!”
I winced in pain due to clenching my teeth hard for a long time. Forget about getting into the mythical gold rank, if I lose to this mere animal, I might never be able to escape from the bronze rank’s harsh circumstances.
“Go dieeee!!”
S-, st-, s-, stop…!
“What the hell!”
I was surprised by the deer suddenly talking to me. When I lost my grip due to the shock, the deer came out of my restraint and staggered for a few steps. But it soon turned around and started to run away.
Although I was dumbfounded for a moment, I immediately rode its back, thinking that I couldn’t let it run away at all costs.
Purrrrk—
The fucking deer eventually fell on the ground due to my heavy weight when I held on to its torso. That was how the deer and I showed off our on-field skills and struggled with our arms and legs tangled together.
Perhaps because this fucking deer was kicking all over my body with its four legs, I was in great pain to the point that even tears started leaking out of my eyes.
“Damn it! You have four legs, you fucking coward! Let’s fight fair and square with two legs only!”
Just as I tried to grab one of its legs to impede its movements.
Ding—
[Stats] Name: Actaeon
Level: ?? → 16
Conditions: Diana’s Curse》Immature Shed-Antlers》Tough Hooves
I creased my forehead when seeing the words that floated into my mind.
“Actaeon?”
Halt—
The deer suddenly stopped moving at once. In the next moment, it got up from the ground, trembling on the spot, and began walking away with a hobbling gait.
“Hey you, this motherfucker, where are you trying to run away? Fight me!”
Hearing my loud yell, that deer looked back at me and then hobbled again into the grass.
What the heck was this? Did it want me to follow it?
I was in a dilemma as I looked at the tree where Luna was still hanging and the surrounding forest a few more times. However, I couldn’t let the deer run away like this, so I had no choice but to follow it.
“Luna! Wait there for a second!”
“H-Hassan!”
**********
The deer kept hobbling deep into the forest. However, there was no sign of it running away, and occasionally it would stop and check on me to see if I was following it. It seemed like the deer was leading me somewhere.
Of course, since this animal was so clever that it could extort money and valuable things from people, I chose not to let my guard down as it might lure me into some kind of trap.
It was a deer with extremely high-level intelligence. It was definitely not your average run-of-the-mill deer.
After walking for a long time, the deer stopped in front of some kind of rocky cave. It squeezed its body into the cave, and once inside, it made a few loud noises…
“Are you asking me to follow you inside?”
Purrrrk—
Never in my life did I ever think I’d be able to talk to a deer. This world is such a fucking crazy place…
I thought… I wouldn’t be attacked by its fellow deer, who was waiting for me inside, as soon as I entered this cave, right?
Fortunately, the rocky cave was so cramped and narrow that there was no room for any other of its freaking accomplices to hide.
That aside, what the heck was this place?
As my eyes got used to the dim light source, I saw all sorts of the clutter piled up on the floor and in the corner.
There were several types of things, from broken bowls to old armor, rusty weapons, and even pieces of cloth of unknown origin.
It literally looked like how it would be if wild animals collected and gathered human objects.
“This motherfucker, so you are a repeat offender, huh… These things are certainly not gathered after doing it once or twice only!!”
Purrrrk— Purrrrk—
Then that deer started rubbing its own antlers on the cave wall while snorting.
I wondered whether it was that animal’s peculiar mental illness relapsing at this moment or it was just scratching the wall because its antlers were itchy. But soon, I could see some words written on the cave wall.
I’m. Actaeon. Kairos’. human. disciple.
What the heck? Who wrote these letters?
Sensing my doubt, the deer continued pointing at the words with its antlers. So, I couldn’t help but ask…
“Human? You’re a human?”
Purrrrk—
That deer slightly moved its hooves. No matter how I looked at it, it was clearly a deer, but it claimed to be human. Was it perhaps an identity disorder?
No, maybe there was an extensive range of definitions of human beings in this world. If we only look at the outer appearance, we even consider those bastards that behave like beasts as also humans.
It looked like a deer, but if it had a high level of intelligence and was competent, wouldn’t it be more like a human than your average human would? I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking about, but I was way too out of my mind at this moment to care.
“Do you mean you understand me? If you understand, hit your hoof against the wall.”
Bruk—
Damn, God, that was amazing. How could an animal understand people? Although I have seen all kinds of bizarre events, I have never experienced something like this before.
Therefore, I imagined putting this motherfucker on a leash and selling him on the market. How much would this guy sell for? Could I get at least one gold coin from selling it?
Purrrrk— Purrrrk—
Then, as if that deer wanted to convey something to me. It soon began writing something on the cave ground with its hoof. It was very crooked and hard to read, but I could somehow read it.
“I have been cursed… This der appearance… Der?”
That deer quickly added another letter with its front hoof.
“Oh, the deer appearance. Are you saying that you became a deer because you were cursed?”
Nod— Nod—
“Damn, this world is really too strange.”
The deer wrote some words on the floor again.
“If I help you lift the curse, you’ll give something in return? There is something among what a pure virgin possesses that can help you lift the curse?”
Nod— Nod—
It seemed that it was really not your typical deer. It was hard to believe that a deer was able to write and hold a conversation with me.
Did he really become an animal after getting cursed? This kind of bizarre thing also existed in this world? A curse was really something scary, after all.
Anyway, I could see why this deer took Luna or Renee’s stuff and ran away last time. So, to lift the curse, he needed a pure maiden’s belonging. But Luna was no longer a virgin…
The deer was writing several words on the ground with its hoof while I was immersed in such thoughts.
The. Only person. Who. Can. See. Through. My. Thoughts. Was. Only. My colleague, Lapu. If. You. Can. Help me. Lift the curse. I swear. By the River Styx. That I will. Give you something in return.
