***This is a free auxiliary chapter. This is the book Jay was reading. You can skip it and still understand the story, I just thought It would be fun to add. Thanks, Aero182***
An epitaph of my former self, now dead.
So, you've escaped the circles,
or at least you think you have.
The circles being things that you keep doing which lead to nothing but another repetition of the circle. You toil all the week, looking forward to its end, the end arrives, you do the exact same thing you did on the last end. Somehow you still enjoy doing this.
Why? How many times do you need to have this experience before you get sick of it? You're caught in a cycle, a circle. You've stagnated, you're wasting away, and you don't realise it yet.
This isn't the only circle you're in - you're still caught in others but you just don't realise it yet.
While being in the circle, you're disregarding the future, at least in part. Maybe you do save some money that goes to the future, but you are still losing time, not thinking clearly or making yourself better. You've simply become a cog in a machine you've continually made with your own actions. You're not free from yourself.
How do you break free of such a cycle? Well, stop doing the exact same thing you've been doing and think about where your life is going if you continue to repeat such a circle.
Consider this: you don't ever see any elders drinking themselves stupid, why? Because this is a circle that is forcibly broken by your physical health - however it's better if you can break it first through realization, save your health, your time, and your money - and hopefully discover the next circle you find yourself in.
Maybe you don't have anything better to do; but how would you know? You haven't tried, have you? Isn't that depressing? Will your life change or get better by continuing the same process? - If not, maybe you are crazy?
Maybe you do this to alleviate pain, but the pain will just continue on if you don't directly address it.
Maybe it's boredom. Could boredom itself be the end of escaping or breaking of the cycles? Maybe you've found peace?
Perhaps you embrace it like a fool? Do you start a new cycle - something to occupy the time? Will your old, tired eyes be satisfied chasing the same thing around in circles once more - a way to fill the gap in between the necessary activities? What are you ignoring while you're busy? If you don't find something, then what?
Upon pondering these things I seek for wisdom - she hears my plea; I find myself in prayer. For now, I have but one mission for now - I need to control my tongue.
- Avawalk the hidden, Conqueror of Himself.
