“Good work.”
“Thanks.”
He said with a wry smile.
Yu Jitae looked at his half-broken sunglasses, and at his torn-apart military uniform with blood stains and dirt all over it.
“Are these tattered rags you’re wearing like last time a form of complaint?”
“Well, it’s not intentional. Just didn’t have the time to,” replied BM.
“Wear some proper clothes for today. And heal your wounds too.”
“Why, do we need to meet some esteemed being to get the ‘seed that allows the dead to breathe’?”
“Do you have clothes?”
“Maybe. I do have some casual clothes but… he must be a considerably great person or something.”
With his chin, Yu Jitae gestured at the road connecting into the distance.
“Let’s have a chat on the way there.”
***
Yu Jitae climbed the mountain with BM.
It was his first time taking a whole day out for something that was completely unrelated to the [Hostility] or the dragons in the 7th iteration.
Just for this day, he postponed the training with Yeorum, and assigned Bom with assisting Gyeoul’s homework. Because of that, Bom would probably be quite busy today due to teaching Kaeul magic, helping with Gyeoul’s homework while studying for her own exams.
She asked if she could come with him but he refused.
Was it because this was something he was doing for BM?
No.
It’s because this was something he was doing for himself.
“How’s your body.”
The mountains were steep. They were climbing a mountain so tall that the tip was covered by perpetual snow, which they were starting to see in the distance.
“I’m fine.”
“But still, you did gather all the ingredients.”
Yu Jitae was carrying on his back the coffin-shaped Level 2 artifact that BM gave him, that had a preservation spell cast on it. Inside were miniscule amount of ingredients that would be used to connect the heart to the body.
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64ce79d606107d003c23ea27", id: "pf-5140-1"})For example, although the originally required ATTN essence to create a human was 425mL, they only needed about 0.2mL now. Despite the small amounts, they still needed each of every ingredient so BM had to go out of his way to find them again.
“Would I pull a trick? I’m trying to save my son here.”
“…”
“Kuhum… but the mana density around this place is really high.”
Changing the topic, BM looked around. By the time he realised it, mysteriously dense clusters of mana were flooding in from the sides.
“Have you cleaned the inner room?” Yu Jitae asked.
“I got rid of everything. Baby stuff and pictures. Please apologise in my stead to Yeorum. I also got rid of everything she gave as a present.”
“Good. Because those books were second-hand anyway.”
Dumbfoundedly BM smiled.
“She gave a second-hand item as a gift to a kid?”
“The plushie you threw away was also second-hand. That was Kaeul’s.”
“Kaeul, is that blondie right? The one those agents were revering as a goddess or something?”
“She’s Yeorum’s sister.”
“…No wonder it was filthy. Huh, at this point it’s as if the gummies Yeorum brought for Taebaek were also second-hand.”
Yu Jitae remained silent as BM brought his palm over his face.
“My word.”
“She’s just like that.”
“You must have it rough…”
Yu Jitae gave a faint smile.
After that, the two of them quietly walked on. The sun at the centre of the sky warmly embraced the cold autumn breezes. The refreshing air that could only be felt at the upper mountains made BM more excited today.
BM was slender and was taller than Yu Jitae, but his long legs were probably not the only reason why he was covering more distance at a faster rate. Thinking along the lines of that, Yu Jitae opened his mouth.
“It’s what you’ve been wishing for for a long time.”
“Well, yes it is.”
“Don’t people usually call that a dream.”
“Right. A dream.”
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64cc9e79c7059f003e4ad4b0", id: "pf-5109-1"})“How does it feel to achieve your dream.”
“You’re asking the weirdest of questions.”
BM said with a laugh.
“After getting rid of everything, I bought new baby stuff and replaced it.”
“How fast.”
“Actually, I wanted to do that the very night after cleaning it but I couldn’t. Even though I removed everything, it still felt as if the child was with me.”
“…”
“I don’t understand how that small guy roamed all across my workshop. His hair was all over the ground and it just happened to be red. I could see it everywhere. Actually it seems he even went into the storage I told him not to. His hair was in there as well.”
“Was it painful?”
“Painful, huh?… Sometimes you ask things that girls would.”
“What do you mean.”
“I mean that’s what the focus of your questions are sometimes. They sound like questions young girls would ask.”
With a hazy face as if he had just murdered a person or two, Yu Jitae pondered and realised that BM might be right. After all, who were the people he had shared the most conversation with till now?
“Ah well. Kind of embarrassing to say this, but it honestly was quite painful. I hoped it would be fine if I got rid of the items and later even cleaned the whole place. But then I found pictures we took together on my watch. I deleted them but then, far out, they were still there inside the stupid cloud system.”
BM chuckled.
“That stupid cloud. It freaking recognised the face and enlarged it, and the kid was smiling. Like, why are you smiling…”
Seemingly in deep thought, BM hesitantly opened his mouth.
“That child, he was doing all that to survive right. Pretending to be a human, pretending to be the son of my friend so that it could devour my heart.”
“If you think about it that way, yes.”
“Right. It was just a child desperately trying to survive. He was smart in his own way to survive in this cruel world but who was the one that made him like that? It was me.”
BM heaved out a deep sigh.
“So after removing the child’s items, I cried a lot.”
His feet started to slow down.
“I cried a lot like a baby. Sobbing out loud and I just couldn’t hold myself in. But if I was sad for too long, I thought it would be rude to the new Taebaek I would be seeing. So, I pledged to myself that I would only cry for one day – just cry for today and forget it all from tomorrow.
“But you see, after crying my heart out that day, I came to myself at night and went to the bathroom to wash my face.”
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "663633fa8ebf7442f0652b33", id: "pf-8817-1"})His breath started to quiver, seemingly remembering the exact situation of the past.
“And, do you know what I found there?”
After he thought he had removed everything and had emptied everything,
The moment he pledged to himself to focus on the new child he would be seeing.
It appeared right in front of him.
“There was a toothbrush. Two of them…”
That day, BM couldn’t follow through with his vow.
“There were fucking two toothbrushes there…”
And he still couldn’t.
*
After that, BM stayed quiet for a long time with only the rustling sound of the grass reaching their ears. The perpetual snow that appeared far-off was already right in front of them and they soon had to step through the snow to climb the mountain.
“I kept the toothbrush.”
It was BM who broke the silence.
“Thought you were throwing everything away.”
“Right. You’re right, but I changed my mind after looking at the toothbrush. What happened then shouldn’t be buried and it’s not like it would disappear even if I did bury it. In the first place, I wasn’t supposed to empty that child away.”
“So what did you do.”
“I kept the toothbrush somewhere else as a tombstone. From time to time I’ll go there and after I meet Taebaek again, and when the child grows up a bit, I will have to talk about that to him as well.”
“…”
“After changing my mind, I was finally able to mentally prepare myself to welcome the new child.”
BM couldn’t empty out the remains of the dead child. But instead, because he decided to take everything in without emptying it away, he was at last able to empty his mind that had been intertwined with the past.
“Good on you.”
“By the way, how far do we have to go? We’ve been walking for a few hours now… and where even is that great being? I’m not really feeling anything.”
Looking at the pinnacle of the snowy mountain, BM opened his mouth. He had to frown for a bit due to the sharp storm.
“Have you prepared yourself?”
– And to get that, there is the need to go to a slightly dangerous place.
– Dangerous, is it? Even for you?
– No. Just you.
BM remembered the words Yu Jitae had told him in the past.
In order to revive Taebaek, he had to stand toe-to-toe against the dangerous being waiting before him. It was a place Yu Jitae himself had personally called ‘dangerous’.
Sincerely, BM said with a nod.
“I have no plans of relying on you for this.”
“Still stubborn I see.”
“Right. Sure I am. Whether it rips my arm out, or rips my legs out, I will take care of everything myself so just watch on from the side thanks.”
BM started raising his mana.
“You might die.”
Yu Jitae’s warning – the words of the absolute transcendent weighed BM’s heart down even more. However, he shook his head.
“If I had ever done something right, this wouldn’t have happened.”
In his mind, BM had never done anything right.
Like how in the distant past, when Arandot was covered in flames; like how on top of losing all his lifelong friends and comrades, he had even lost Taebaek near the end of the long war.
“I shouldn’t have taken my eyes off of the child just because there were a lot on my hands.”
In his despair after 20 years of futile research; like how he brought trash items despite the advice Yu Jitae gave him.
“I shouldn’t have tried to compromise just because I was tired.”
When he impulsively drove the heart in without even confirming its nature; and when he ignored it even after realising that it was wrong. Thus when he had to rip that beating heart out and hold it again with his own hands – those were all his mistakes.
“And I shouldn’t have dismissed something wrong just due to affection.”
At last, the final opportunity had come.
That was how BM approached this matter.
“Now I want to do something right for once, so please watch over me from the side.”
All the history he had built up in his body – the times he spent contemplating over things day and night, dreaming of the change in Arandot’s history – all of them, he was willing to give up for this one moment.
If needed, he was willing to give his whole body even.
It was then.
Yu Jitae said with a faint smile.
“Sorry.”
BM twitched his eyes.
What did he mean sorry?
Soon, a black fissure appeared with a crack behind Yu Jitae as white hands carried something out from within.
It was the dead body of Jung Taebaek.
“That was a grandiose pledge but I’ve actually done it all already.”
“What?”
What was this about?
What about the being they were to meet now? The dangerous place?
Even though BM was still confused beyond what his mind could handle, Yu Jitae flicked his fingers.
Click–
On top of a small hill among the snowy mountains surrounding them, snow suddenly exploded out like firecrackers and started fluttering into the air. When the snow covering the ground scattered on all sides and enshrouded the surroundings and the sky,
And when they started flickering under the late night sunlight,
Just like a dream,
Or perhaps a magic spell of a movie,
It filled BM’s perception of the world with fragments of light. Only then did the old returnee realise that the hill he was stepping on was a large living life of its own.
Was this the ‘seed that allows the dead to breathe’?
“You ready to meet Taebaek?”
BM felt goosebumps rising up his skin.
Was everything ready already?
“Wait, wait!”
“Why.”
“What is this on about? Meet him already? I haven’t mentally prepared myself yet.”
“What preparation. You’ve done that for 20 years already.”
“But still wait— I’m telling you to wait–!”
BM touched his sunglasses. Unable to stand still, he walked all around the seed with anxious hands and an even more anxious pair of legs. He looked down at the seed, before glancing through the snow that had risen to the air and the fragments of light.
When the encounter was suddenly right in front of him at an unexpected timing, this superhuman in his 60s was as scared as a young child.
“Look at me please.”
“Huh?”
“H, how do I look.”
“What?”
“I’m asking you how these insignificant casual clothes look! I didn’t even do my hair. If I knew this would be the case, I would do the hair and yeah? Wear some better clothes too.”
“…”
“So how do I look. Wouldn’t a child seeing me for the first time be frightened?”
He asked Yu Jitae, who replied after some thought.
“How about you get rid of those sunglasses first.”
“Huhh?”
“It’s your first meeting so you should show your eyes at least.”
“N, no but. But the thing is…!”
BM took off his sunglasses and put them into his pocket. There, Yu Jitae could see the bare eyes of BM which he was seeing for the first time including all the previous iterations.
The bird monster of the other world, Arandot.
The eyes of Abraxas were making his eyes shine in bright blue.
“Aren’t they a little strange? Wouldn’t the child be scared.”
Yu Jitae thought back on Gyeoul and shook his head.
“If that’s the first thing he sees, he will get used to it very soon.”
“I, is that so?”
“Then you’re all done with the preparation right?”
“Ah, r, right! Yes…”
Would a young child meeting their first love be like this?
Or perhaps would it resemble the heart of an old man who miraculously reunited with his family after a long separation in a divided country?
When his lifelong aspiration was right before him, the old man felt extremely burdened.
Prepare myself, prepare myself, prepare myself… Murmured BM, while trying to come back to his senses.
“Get on your knees, and move your mana. Think about letting him live again, so that your will may be conveyed to the seed.”
The life he had lost back then,
The world so distant that it was now faint,
The child of his two friends, more precious than anyone else in existence –
Now that he was about to meet him again, BM kneeled with a trembling body. His quivering hands didn’t know where to go, so he grasped them together as if in a prayer.
[Ignite]
The ‘seed that allows the dead to breathe’ – that special artifact started dissolving its own seal on its own accord. When the intense mana of the returnee carried his powerful will into the ground beneath his feet,
Soon the body of child being carried by the white hands floated in mid-air.
The empty heart borrowed the power of the seed and started being filled.
The child was enveloped in light.
His heart beat once.
The blood that had stagnated in one place started to flow again.
His heart beat again.
Life was given to the dead tissues.
His heart beat thrice.
The organs, muscles, brain, veins and everything forming a human body started being supplied with both blood and air.
At last, a small life twitched its fingers.
His eyes opened faintly, revealing red irises within.
Yu Jitae walked away so that he wouldn’t interrupt them and watched the child and BM.
How would one feel after achieving their dream? In order to get a glimpse of it beforehand, he was standing here alone.
BM carefully carried the boy that was lying down. His chin turned rigid.
All the times and hard work he went through to meet this small existence again flashed past his memories.
– Do you know? How it feels to be the only one running away when all my friends are dying next to me?”
– But, hundreds of times a day – I just couldn’t forgive myself.
From the time he lost his precious ones.
– The baby, he died. It wasn’t due to something grandiose either. Some random monster shot its sting while it was on the way and it hit the baby. He died because of my stupidity.
To when his own fault made the child die.
– I was lazy. I could come up with excuses, saying that I’ve repeated countless failures upon failures.
– But I shouldn’t have done that.
– Other people might, and maybe for other things, but I, shouldn’t have done that for that one thing…
And the countless times he had failed throughout his long life.
– My neck suddenly hurts… It hurts
– Daddy… it hurts… it hurts… my neck…
– Don’t kill meeee—-!
The child born from his own faults who had to take the blame and die.
It all flashed past his mind.
As if being rewarded by all those times,
Or perhaps being punished for all those times.
Now, everything that he had gone through resulted in those red eyes looking up at his face.
Suppressing the tears that threatened to burst through his lips, the man looked at his son and opened his mouth.
“Hello…”
The child was still weak. Only his lips faintly moved and BM was crazy curious about what the child was trying to say.
The child didn’t look away from him. His red eyes took in the entirety of BM. BM’s blue eyes and his face exhausted by everything life threw at him were all being stored within those young and innocent eyes.
A certain young existence, was starting to bloom to life again.
“I’m Jung Bongman…”
BM made yet another pledge.
I will for sure make you happy,
I will help you defeat this cruel world,
And I shall create a shelter your exhausted body can come back to.
My whole life will be solely for you.
“I’m your father…”
From the beginning of your life, I will be with you for the rest of my days.
