After Yeorum walked outside, Yu Jitae turned towards Bom. When their eyes met, the thought that her slanted eyes looked pretty abruptly appeared in his mind so he shook that thought away before asking.
“What do you think.”
“Hmm…”
She thought for a bit and replied.
“I think it’s about time now.”
“Is it.”
“Yes. Did you know that Yeorum was constantly avoiding Kaeul quite a bit these days?”
Was she? Looking back at it now, that did seem to be the case.
These days, Kaeul had been learning how to control her power during the day from Bom and she had finally gotten a chance to rest today.
In any case although it wasn’t that obvious, he could still remember how Yeorum had been slightly avoiding Kaeul.
Soon, the kids walked into the kitchen.
“Good mornningg~ Ahjussi. Unni.”
“…Hello.”
“Nn. Hello Gyeoul? What’s for breakfast today?”
While the kids chattered and ate their breakfast, Yu Jitae thought about the state Yeorum was in. Reflecting on the slightly hazy memories of the past, he could understand a little bit of how Yeorum would be feeling right now.
The Regressor was not talented.
Despite repeating his life several times, he had been weak.
“…”
He did not pity or empathise with her but he still wanted Yeorum to be happy.
She would probably be feeling slightly confused right now since her eyes had only been looking forward till now. Just like how he had been, her vision was probably narrowed, her mind rash and easily shaken by tiny things.
Most importantly, her vision narrowing down had to be avoided since her mind would ultimately break down, like himself of the past.
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64ce79d606107d003c23ea27", id: "pf-5140-1"})Thus, it was time for her to take a slight breather.
***
Yeorum thought to herself.
Wherever she went these days, she would hear stories about Kaeul.
During lesson, restaurant, training centre… wherever it may be, people were always talking about Kaeul.
After the number of views of her video exceeded her own, there were more and more people who would sneakily try to hear her opinion about the matter.
She felt very complicated.
Drenched in sweat after finishing her early morning training, Yeorum smoked a cigarette in the back alley by herself and turned on her watch.
[1. Dick Jitae]
On the messaging app at the very top of the contacts, she wrote Yu Jitae’s number in and started writing the message.
[Me: It’s me. I have something to say after school if you have time—]
[Me: I have something to say. If you have time today—]
[Me: Do you have time—]
Yeorum wrote several words down before deleting them. Repeating that several times, she realised that she didn’t know what to say.
To be frank, what exactly could she do after sending him a message?
Be mad at him? No. There was no reason for her to be mad.
Then do I tell him I’m feeling complicated? That would hurt her pride too much. It’s not like she was a kid so how would she even say that?
Then? Should I ask him if we could start training again? The memories of how she had been acting disrespectfully to him these days held her back from saying that.
Why did I do that… I must have empathised too much with Yu Bom after seeing her tragically cry. Maybe because her future was also destined like myself…
But I do also know that Yu Jitae is not the type of person to swing his lower part left and right. I do but…
“Fu*k…”
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64cc9e79c7059f003e4ad4b0", id: "pf-5109-1"})Due to all those thoughts, she couldn’t send him the message. Only the smoke continued leaving her mouth.
She was confused and the emotions that sometimes reared their heads were mostly negative.
Yeorum was a relatively weak hatchling. She was the slowest to leave her egg, with an almost 100 year difference between herself and her oldest unni.
She knew it herself that she had no talent.
She would die after going back home and in order to live, she had to try harder.
Fortunately, she had the best teacher. A human that could use the martial arts of the red race.
Learning how to fight from him was an extremely daunting task. Everyday her body had to live through muscle pain while her heart cried out from pain due to being squeezed dry. Covered in bruises, her body had unsightly dots and she wanted to run away from pain whenever Yu Jitae gave her a massage.
The hardest one among them was the training with the chains attached. It was hard to breathe and her heart was squeezed until she was ready to embrace death. It felt as if her body was squeezed into an extremely small room and squashed. Maybe this is actually how I die? Yeorum had to endure through the chained training with such thoughts in mind.
Taking another cigarette out, she placed it in her mouth. She ignited it and breathed out a mouthful of smoke.
She looked at her hands filled with blood clots and calluses.
“I had to go through all that and yet…”
Yu Kaeul. She was fairly strong.
Yeorum thought to herself. Would I lose if I fought against Kaeul? No. I wouldn’t lose for now. Although blink was great, 60 metres could be immediately covered using the footwork of Karl-Gullakwa stand-up martial art. The [Magic Arrow] was also definitely quite powerful but the speed of the projectile wasn’t that great. It was for sure avoidable. And after closing the distance? Teleportation required a lot of casting time and there had to be no mana interference so Kaeul would be unable to escape. Then, then…
“…”
…Why the heck am I seriously thinking about this?
She felt confused.
It was the first time she was feeling this way ever since her birth.
Back in Askalifa, everything was taller than herself. She was at the lowest place in the world and there were only existences and targets that she had to overcome. Those targets that she had to overcome were great existences so she had to struggle desperately.
But what about now? Right now, next to her who was still diligently running forward, someone was about to overcome her. Extremely easily at that.
She wasn’t as desperate as herself. She didn’t try hard either. Until recently, she had been smiling like an idiot from sweet stuff and playing with a baby chicken in her room, and yet…
The world praised her in awe as if it was the most natural thing.
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "663633fa8ebf7442f0652b33", id: "pf-8817-1"})Her teacher, stingy with compliments, repeated his compliments all too easily.
– Kaeul is very good. Right, ahjussi?”
– Of course. She’s good.
Back then, Yu Jitae wasn’t hesitant at all.
“…”
Thinking back, she felt lethargic. Going through another cigarette, she started resenting Bom who asked a strange question like that as well as Yu Jitae who answered it.
How could you say she’s good so naturally? Have you ever said that to me even once?
Then what were all those things that I went through just for that one compliment?
Yeorum found it slightly unfair.
Only then did she notice a portion of the identity of the emotion that was harassing her right now. It was a sense of inferiority and a sense of deprivation.
Ever since she was born, Yeorum had never pitied herself because pitying herself was the same as acknowledging the fact that she was a pitiful child.
Even if everyone else in the world found her pitiful, she didn’t want to find herself pitiful. But when the thought that everything was all unfair started creeping in, Yeorum felt some emotions surging up within.
She was not pitiful – that had to be the case.
[Dick Jitae: Yeorum]
That was when a message was sent from Yu Jitae.
[Dick Jitae: What are you up to]
[Dick Jitae: Did you finish your morning training?]
Seeing his messages drove her heart into further confusion. With the current state of her emotions, she was not confident in writing a reply while hiding her weakness.
That wasn’t the end.
If he was so content from teaching Kaeul, how pathetic would she have been in his eyes? She felt pained from being made to face her weakness but if he found her pathetic on top of that, she might even want to kill herself.
She was scared.
Thus, Yeorum did not reply to his message.
*
All kinds of things popped up in her mind as her emotions surged up and down. By the time she came to herself, it was already past lesson time. Her phone had rung several times and she had gotten several messages. They were all from Yu Jitae but she didn’t reply to them.
In order to waste time and have dinner outside, she headed to a restaurant with Team Mochi. She didn’t feel like eating so she ordered some simple noodles.
But even there, it was the same.
“Wah, by the way. You guys saw that too right? Isn’t she like super insane?”
“What is?”
“Yu Kaeul video. That, ukk–”
Yeorum was on the way back carrying a tray of noodles when Soujiro, who was murmuring something, got hit by Kim Ji-in’s elbow and shut his mouth. Kim Ji-in glared sideways at Souijro before glancing at Yeorum but Yeorum pretended to have missed it and sat on her chair.
“…”
Her hair constantly dropped while she was having her noodles and it annoyed her. Yeorum tied her hair behind her head but perhaps because her ears were now revealed, she could hear voices whispering in the distance.
‘Isn’t she actually weak as fu*k?’
‘Right. I think Yu Kaeul was a lot more insane.’
‘You know, I didn’t even see Yu Kaeul take any magic studies classes.’
‘Apparently she did take it for a little bit.’
‘Then it’s not Yu Yeourm that’s amazing but just the Yu household that’s insane right? Do they have like a dope ass curriculum?’
‘People do say that they have the full support of the Association or something…’
‘Dude I don’t care about it. I just wanna see them two fight.’
‘Why?’
‘What do you mean why. It’s because I wanna see Yu Yeorum get smacked of course.’
‘Kik kik. I do wanna see that too.’
Yeorum placed her chopsticks down.
After the settling of her emotions, irritation surged up. There was blazing heat rising from the depths of her heart, making her feel like immediately pulling their eyeballs out. She stood up from her seat and carried the noodles which she wasn’t even eating.
“Yeorum?”
“Hey. Where are you going.”
Kim Ji-in and Sophia talked to her but Yeorum ignored the two of them and walked towards the babbling cadets.
She wanted to pour the soup over their heads. And the moment they turn around, she wanted to smack them on their mouths and crush all their teeth.
However, Yeorum endured it. She held in the emotions that threatened to burst forth. Maybe the anger management training she had been doing with Gyeoul was proving to be effective.
Yeorum pulled the chair and sat next to the cadets who had been bad-mouthing her. Once they saw her, they rolled their eyes in a fluster as silence covered the table.
“Wasn’t there someone calling me?”
“…Uh, huh?”
“Since I’m here anyways, should we eat together?”
In fact, Yeorum didn’t hit people or sabotage the place that much, but her public image was a lot worse than the reality because of various rumours.
They had been bad-mouthing her till now. If she didn’t hear them, then there would be no reason for this red-haired girl to come sit next to them.
It was hard for them to even breathe properly and each second felt like a minute. “We are done eating…”, “Uh, nn.” Saying that, the cadets nervously stood up carrying their plates.
Only then did Yeorum reveal her irritation.
“Oi.”
The cadets who had been awkwardly trying to stand up turned stiff.
“Do I have to spell it out for you? Are you that stupid?”
“Nn…?”
“Are you gonna apologise or what.”
Finally, the cadets awkwardly smiled and apologised to Yeorum. Sorry. That wasn’t what I was trying to say. It was a mistake… One of them even showed an unsightly behaviour by saying that he was sorry despite not personally saying that much. However, they still weren’t foolish enough to mention Kaeul again.
When the cadets acted serviently, Yeorum felt her irritation dissipate albeit by a little. However, confusion retook its place once her irritation disappeared.
What am I even doing…
*
It was when Yeorum was smoking alone in a corner. A shadow appeared in front of her.
It was unknown when he even came here but Yu Jitae was in front of her.
Crouching on the ground, she looked up into his eyes. However, she wasn’t confident in staring into his eyes for too long so she looked away before indifferently opening her mouth.
“What’s up.”
“Why didn’t you pick up the call.”
“It’s nothing…”
Dense smoke from the cigarette left her mouth along with a sigh. She turned silent again so Yu Jitae opened his mouth.
“Skip the training today and skip the lessons tomorrow. Let’s go somewhere for a little bit.”
“Why.”
“Just do as I tell you to.”
It was his normal voice but it sounded more pressuring than usual.
She did not want to show him her weak sides.
She did not want to be dependent on him.
She did not want to be compared.
Whatever the case, Yeorum did not feel like talking to anyone right now.
“…Don’t want to. I want to stay alone for a bit. Leave me alone here.”
“Yu Yeorum.”
“Ah what! I get depressed as well sometimes. Just leave me alone.”
“No.”
“Why? I’m not doing anything. I’m just gonna stay here okay? I won’t leave the house or anything and I won’t cause any problems. Fu*k, I just need some time to think–”
It was when she was refusing him with an irritated voice. Yu Jitae suddenly walked up to her and pulled her by the wrist to make her stand on her feet.
There was nothing she could do in terms of power. While she was surprised, Yu Jitae pulled her wrist and walked somewhere. Like a young kid being pulled by an adult, she could only look at his back as he took her somewhere else.
At the end of the alleyway was a car.
“Ah, what are you doing? What is this! Let go!”
“Go in.”
Opening the door, Yu Jitae shoved her inside. Due to the difference in power, she could not escape at all and she was inside the car by the time she realised it.
“Like what are you trying to do right now! Are you ignoring me?”
“I told you. We’re going somewhere to play.”
“Like I said, I don’t feel like playing right now!”
Without saying anything else, he stepped on the accelerator. As the car suddenly started moving forward, Yeorum gave a frown.
“I heard from your friends on the way. I heard you were about to get mad but you held it back.”
“What?”
“Well done.”
A compliment she wasn’t expecting in the slightest came flying in from him. Her mouth that had previously been showing its fangs slowly came to a close and with a slightly softer voice, she asked.
“Where are we going?”
“Seat belt.”
“Fu*k. Telling a dragon to wear seat belts…”
Despite saying that, she was slowly putting the seat belt on when a surprising word left Yu Jitae’s mouth.
“Las Vegas.”
Yeorum widened her eyes.
