The Shadow Self took a moment to study Mira. Its features, though mirroring Mira's, held an ethereal quality, its expressions almost dreamlike. "I can teach you about the parts of yourself that you've overlooked or suppressed, the facets you've chosen to cast away in pursuit of power. The lessons will be challenging, but they can be invaluable."
Mira shifted her stance, preparing for anything. "Show me."
The forest dimmed further, the darkness seeming to emanate from the Shadow Self. The trees around them became almost imperceptible, their forms melting into the blackness.
The Shadow Self began to circle Mira, its movements fluid and unhurried. "Every person, every cultivator, has a dark side. Not necessarily evil, but hidden. Thoughts and emotions that aren't acted upon or even acknowledged. Dreams discarded, fears unchallenged. That's where I come in."
With every word, Mira felt as though she was being drawn deeper into her psyche, facing memories and feelings she'd locked away. She saw herself as a child, her innocence juxtaposed with the hardened warrior she'd become. She relived moments of fear and doubt, moments when she questioned her path and the sacrifices she'd made.
"Enough," Mira snapped, breaking the vision's hold on her. "What is the point of all this?"
The Shadow Self paused its dance and looked deep into Mira's eyes. "The point is understanding. To truly master your powers, you must master yourself. And to do that, you must confront every part of you, even the ones hidden in the deepest shadows."
Mira clenched her fists. She wasn't afraid of her past, but she hated feeling vulnerable. Yet she also realized the wisdom in the Shadow Self's words. If she ignored or rejected parts of herself, how could she claim to be truly powerful?
Drawing on her recently strengthened Light affinity, Mira projected a radiant aura around her, pushing back against the oppressive darkness. "Alright. Let's do this. But I don't want just memories. Show me what I need to face."
The Shadow Self seemed to approve of her determination. "Very well. Prepare yourself."
The moment the Shadow Self spoke, the forest around Mira began to shift and distort. The darkness formed three distinct pathways, each one leading to a different aspect of her deepest fears.
The first pathway opened into a beautiful garden filled with blooming flowers and the distant sound of laughter. Mira felt a tug on her heart as she saw figures she recognized from her past reincarnations.
These were people she had loved and who had loved her in return. Their smiles and gestures beckoned her closer, evoking a warmth she had long tried to suppress.
Yet, as she approached, each figure began to crumble, turning into dust and carried away by the wind. The pain of their loss, magnified tenfold, pressed down on her, weighing on her very soul.
"Love is a powerful emotion," the Shadow Self whispered. "But it is also fragile. You fear the pain it brings, the possibility of loss, the vulnerability it demands."
Mira kept silent, but her lips trembled.
"And yet, love can also be a source of strength," the Shadow Self countered. "To overcome this trial, you must confront this fear head-on."
Mira took a deep breath, steeling herself. Each step felt like an eternity as she traversed the garden. The weight of countless lifetimes pressed upon her, each echoing with the agonies of love lost and bonds severed.
"Why? Why show me this?" Mira whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
The Shadow Self remained close, a mere shadow among the many that played upon the ground. "To deny this aspect of yourself is to reject a part of your very being. Embracing love is to embrace life itself, in all its beautiful, painful complexity."
A memory flashed before her. A young woman from her third reincarnation, her eyes filled with warmth and love. They had promised to face the world together, hand in hand. But fate was cruel, and she was taken from her in a tragic turn of events. The anguish of that loss had made her swear never to love so deeply again.
Another memory from her fifth life: a little girl with her eyes, calling her 'mother' with pure joy. A love so profound it had felt like her heart might burst. But that, too, had been ripped away, leaving a gaping void that never quite healed.
These memories, and countless more, painted a tapestry of both exquisite joy and soul-crushing sorrow. The highs of love were ethereal, but the lows were devastating.
The Shadow Self guided her to the center of the garden where a grand, aged tree stood. Its bark bore the marks of time, with deep scars and fresh wounds. Yet, amidst the scars, fresh green shoots emerged, symbols of new life and hope.
"This tree represents your heart," the Shadow Self intoned. "Each mark, each scar, tells a story. But so does each new sprout and leaf. Love has hurt you, yes, but it has also made you grow, evolve, and become stronger. You may never be the same again, but to bury it is to reject a part of yourself. Don't let the past shape your future; live in the present."
Mira approached and touched the bark of the tree, feeling its ancient energy pulse beneath her fingers.
Then, as if she had reached a trance-like state, she opened her mouth. "I am afraid," she admitted unconsciously. "Afraid of the pain, of the loss. But also... afraid of the joy. Because joy makes the pain even more unbearable."
The Shadow Self nodded. "And that's valid. But by closing yourself off from these feelings, you also close yourself off from its healing power. The love you've felt in your past lives and the love you will feel in the future are all part of your journey. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it guide you."
Closing her eyes, Mira leaned against the tree, allowing its strength to envelop her. Memories of love, both bitter and sweet, washed over her. She saw the faces of those she had loved and lost, their smiles, their tears. And with each memory, she felt a piece of her heart mend.
After what felt like hours, Mira stood tall, her face serene. The weight on her chest felt lighter. It wasn't that she was miraculously healed, but taking this journey down memory lane had allowed her to put a pause on all the craziness going on around her and do a bit of introspection.
There was much more to do and see, as she had lived for many years, but it was a step in the right direction. She walked past the tree, wanting to continue this 'trial' and see where it leads.
Eventually, all of this faded into dust, and a new scene appeared before her.
Mira's steps took her to a bustling marketplace.
As she wandered through, every individual she encountered showed her acts of kindness: a merchant gifting her fresh fruit, children running up to give her flowers, and elderly folks blessing her.
Each act made her more uncomfortable than the last, reminding her of the people she cared about and those who had cared for her, only for their lives to be snuffed out before her very eyes. All because that demon who calls himself 'god' wanted to break her. To make her go through hardship.
Suddenly, a shadowy hand would reach out and drag these people into the darkness, their screams echoing in her ears. The guilt, the responsibility for their demise, consumed her.
"Care brings attachment and, with it, the possibility of pain," the Shadow Self murmured. "You've built walls around yourself, fearing the curse of your care."
Mira's heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. The bustling market around her continued, oblivious to her presence. The sights and sounds, once filled with warmth, now taunted her with each stolen life.
"Is it so wrong to not want to go through this shit and focus on getting stronger? Mira questioned above the cacophony of noises. "Every time I think of caring, they're always taken from me right as things are beginning to get good. It's as if the universe is punishing me for being human…"
The Shadow Self drifted closer, its form becoming more tangible amidst the chaos. "It's not about punishment, Mira. It's about understanding the impermanent nature of existence. Everyone and everything has its time. Your suffering arises from the expectation that things should remain static."
She scoffed. "Easy for you to say. You're just a figment of my psyche."
The Shadow Self's gaze remained unblinking, its features ever-morphing yet eerily familiar. "I am you, Mira. I know your pain because it's our pain. The universe isn't deliberately cruel, but it is indifferent. It's up to you to find meaning amidst its vastness. Apathy is not the answer."
The market began to dissolve, replaced by a vast, starlit expanse. The galaxies swirled around her, illuminating the sheer enormity of existence. Compared to the vastness of the universe, her problems seemed almost insignificant.
"You bear a heavy burden, one that few can truly understand," the Shadow Self whispered, its voice echoing in the void. "But you cannot shield yourself from the world forever. Care and attachment are part of the human experience. Embracing them fully, knowing that loss is inevitable, is where true strength lies."
Mira looked up at the stars, remembering all the lives she had lived and all the people she had known. The memories were bittersweet, but they were also a testament to her resilience. Despite the countless tragedies, she continued to persevere.
Everything the shadow said was true, but were things so easy to change? Right now, the only thing she CARED about was strength. Sure, she liked Dominique, and Maria's company was refreshing, but if they weren't strong or at least didn't have the potential to be strong, that wouldn't matter.
She would never accept someone she couldn't hold onto for eternity. Someone who couldn't take care of themselves.
That's why she was secretly glad Maria went out to find herself. She didn't want to have to keep spoonfeeding Maria with opportunities. The woman needed to obtain her own.
…However, since her life and death her unknown at the moment, these feelings may have been wasted.
But she held hope–Hope that she didn't actually kill her lover!
After allowing Mira time to ponder over some of her deepest worries and insecurities, the shadow snapped its finger, and the scene changed.
Now, she was trapped in a jail cell, her arms, legs, and neck bound by chains.
