Mira's vision was a void of utter blackness. The pressing obscurity around her seemed as if it had absorbed her, making every step feel like wading through thick molasses.
Each step she took felt like it lasted an eternity. It was to the point where Mira didn't even know if she was moving. She kept using her Soul Sense to find the way, but even that was blurry at best.
'It almost feels like I died and am stuck in that lantern, waiting to be reincarnated again.' Mira thought, feeling a shiver run down her spine. She swept her consciousness through her soul just to make sure she hadn't sporadically died.
Thankfully, everything was still there, proving that she hadn't died yet.
'But what is this place? What am I supposed to do? That voice said I had to lose myself to find what I wanted, but what does that even mean?' She had too many questions, and nobody was around to answer them.
Now, she was starting to think that perhaps her decision to come to this island wasn't the correct one.
'I could've already been looting the hell out of that crystal one by now. But, instead, I'm here, wading through muddy darkness.' She grumbled but continued moving her feet forward.
Or, at least, what she believed to be forward.
The abyss Mira found herself in was eerily quiet, save for the soft sound of her breath and the distant, fading echoes of the mysterious voice.
Every step she took was absorbed by the darkness, giving her no indication of the ground she was supposedly walking on. It was disorienting, like trying to traverse a dreamscape where the rules of reality were warped and rendered moot.
It wasn't long before the silence grew louder in her ears, like the roar of a distant storm. The absence of landmarks or any point of reference began to play tricks on her mind. Mira couldn't tell if she was retracing her steps, spiraling aimlessly, or if she had walked for miles.
Then, the voices started to talk.
"You're nothing."
"You think you can escape your fate? Naive. Nobody can fight against a god."
"When you're at your weakest, He'll swoop in and capture your mind, body, and soul."
"All this fighting, and for what? To still end up as someone's puppet? What a foolish woman. So old, yet so stupid."
"You could have saved yourself countless years of pain if you accepted His offer."
"If you don't like your fate, you should've shattered your soul. That's the only way to prevent your inevitable future."
'These fucking voices…' Mira's eyes glowed blood-red, even in the impenetrable darkness, as she searched for the source of these annoyances.
She'd been living her life just fine these past few months. Aelina severely injured Sue Ming, sending her to who knows where. The god hadn't made any moves directly either, and she's made great strides in her strength.
But this place…
'How the fuck did they even know about him?' Mira became skeptical, as this place was clearly incredibly old, existing before she was even born in her first life.
There were only three possibilities. Either this Realm was more special than she gave it credit for, the god was weaker than she thought, or this darkness was able to read her thoughts to try and target her insecurities.
She doubted the god was weaker than she thought, considering his powers and treasures. And though this Realm was special, she didn't think it was something that could so easily talk about the peak powers of the Immortal Realm.
That left only one option.
It was a psychological battle, an examination of her deepest fears and vulnerabilities. This place was not only challenging her physically but also her mind and spirit. It was attempting to exploit her most profound uncertainties, hoping to break her will.
'So, you want to play with my mind?' Mira sneered in the darkness. She focused inwardly, trying to establish a barrier between her consciousness and the oppressive environment.
"Think about Maria…"
The voices continued, but this time, they weren't nearly as loud. Mira scoffed at its words. So, now it was trying to scare her through Maria, huh? Nice try!
"Do you really want her to end up like Aurora?"
…
Mira stopped. The little barrier she had put up in her mind collapsed as killing intent burst forth, only to be blocked by the 'walls' surrounding her. She attempted to take out her scythe and start slashing, but it was to no avail as she couldn't even feel her hands.
However, the voices didn't stop.
"Think about what happened to Kevin and Alyssa too. How many loved ones have to die in order for you to live? An honorable woman would've sacrificed herself so her family could live."
"Even Maria's parents suffered because of you."
"This is just the beginning. You're destined to live a lonely, painful life where everyone and everything around you dies."
"Disgusting."
"How can you even live with yourself?"
"You should just kill yourself. Maybe then, Maria and Dominique will be able to live joyful lives."
'Shut the fuck up!' Mira screamed out despite no sound coming out of her mouth. How dare this shitty place bring up her first life! When she's done here, she'll definitely cleave this island in half!
"Those are just to name a few. The truth is, in every life, you've found yourself caring about someone, only for them to end up dying a horrible death. All because of you."
"Your track record continuously proves that you're unable to protect them even at your best. Yet, you keep on living. What a masochistic monster."
"Is it really worth it?"
…
Mira fell silent. She took a few deep breaths, trying to settle the simmering rage welling up in her chest. She wouldn't let this realm, or whatever manipulative force that powered it, witness her weaknesses.
'Yeah. I'm a fucking monster.' Mira muttered emotionlessly. 'I'm the worst of the worst. I'm willing to put those who care about me through the worst kind of pain and, inevitably, death just for a chance at revenge.'
Mira's inner turmoil had become her reality. The darkness was no longer just a physical representation; it was now the mirror of her soul's abyss, reflecting back her most profound insecurities and darkest memories.
Each word the voices spewed became like sharp daggers piercing through her heart.
'But you know what I realized?' Mira asked as if the darkness was a real person.
'It's that even if I was as pure as an angel, the world is not so kind. People change. People die. And shit happens. Just because some asshole with a little power interferes and fucks things up doesn't change this fact. The least I can do is persevere and ensure that they didn't die for nothing by killing the bastard who did it to them.'
It was a sound argument, but it didn't seem to convince the voice.
"Lies. You claim to be an honest person, yet, here you are lying straight to your own face."
"You don't care about giving meaning to the lives of the dead. Maybe you were like that, but not anymore. After watching so many people die, you became numb to it. At a certain point, people just became bags of flesh with useless opinions."
'....Perhaps, but I'm trying to get better.'
"By doing what? Having sex with someone who cares about you? Getting angry whenever they get hurt? It seems like you're just going through the motions to satisfy your vanity."
Mira didn't have anything to say against that. She really had no idea what it was like to love someone. Maybe it's because she's killed too many people or died too many times, but life and death didn't mean much to her anymore.
Whether someone died at the hands of someone else or because of old age, it was all the same to her.
She had become something akin to a robot whose sole purpose was to destroy its oppressor. The rest of her emotions were just her trying to maintain a semblance of humanity.
Still, that didn't mean she faked her care for Maria and Dominique. It's just she couldn't tell whether it was something like "love" or the care someone would feel toward their pet or possession.
Although one might feel angry if someone killed their goldfish and would likely enact vengeance against the perpetrator, they would still throw it in the toilet and get a new one.
Was what she went through not similar? Every new life was akin to buying different goldfish to care for, only for them to be killed by the same person.
Who wouldn't be pissed?!
But, perhaps, she lost something precious to her after going through all this, and these voices were merely magnifying her concerns. Whether it was even worth it to get revenge.
Suddenly, a thin beam of light shone in her eyes.
