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I Will Kill The Authorchapter 241: fading

"Sooo, is she your Phoenix? She has grown quite a lot from the last time I saw her."

"Crieek~"

As we walked, Amelia gently patted Sera and ruffled her soft, silky feathers under her neck.

"Wait, how do you know she's a she?!" I couldn't help but exclaim in surprise.

It took me weeks to understand that Sera was a girl. How did she know it in one meeting?!

Amelia gave me a worried look, concern clearly visible in her eyes. As my frown deepened, she waited for a few seconds before hesitantly speaking:

"Lucas, is your memory getting worse, or is it mere exhaustion?"

".....?" I raised an eyebrow, a confused look forming on my face. "What do you mean?"

"...Lucas, you were the one who told me about her gender, remember?" Amelia said, her tone tinged with concern.

"I… I did?"

I don't remember…

Conversations aren't something I forget easily. After all, it's very essential to keep track of what I say and what others say to me.

Not only does it give me insight into their character, but it also helps me gauge how much I can reveal about myself in front of someone.

No matter how minor the detail, I remember absolutely everything I reveal to others and what they reveal to me.

So then… How did I forget about this?

"Are you sure you aren't gaslighting me like Kent?" I narrowed my eyes at her, but Amelia wasn't in the mood to amuse my humor.

"Lucas, you know you will have to get to the bottom of this, right?" she said, giving me a concerned look.

I guess she won't drop this topic, huh?

The thing is, talking about my memory – or Lucas' memories, actually – is a little unnerving to me for some reason. That had especially been the case after reading those journals.

And now, after going through all those prophecies and whatnot, I'm not sure what to make of Lucas.

There was definitely more to him than meets the eye. Everything is a mess. I think I've said this before, but I'll say it again– I hate mysteries.

Letting out a soft sigh, I glanced at Amelia and said, "I guess you are right. I have been having trouble remembering things recently."

I keep forgetting mundane tasks like whether I had eaten breakfast, taken a bath, answered texts, and other such things.

Remembering complex things like what I said to people, the face of the person who bumped into me earlier, or even a simple math equation has become a challenge.

I can still recall events from Lucas' memories, but it feels like the cracks that were there before are getting bigger and bigger by the day.

Even memories from my previous life are fading. My parents' faces have blurred in my head, and I can't even recall how many siblings I had.

I didn't want to admit it until now, foolishly believing that if I didn't say it out loud, it wouldn't become real.

But it is already the reality.

I began to confess with shaky breaths, "I–It's worsening. I keep forgetting things. I fear soon I'll forget everything and just be a shadow–"

Before I could continue, Amelia interjected, "It won't happen. Return to Wolfshire as soon as your semester break starts and investigate there. I'm sure you'll find some clues."

"That's the plan," I shrugged and replied with a somber expression.

In the next second, Amelia spoke up again, "Besides, I would be damned if something happens to you before you give me an apology gift."

"...Sorry, what?"

"Hmm?"

"You want an apology gift?"

"Yes, at least a Legendary or Divine rank relic would suffice."

After blankly staring at her for a couple of seconds as she put forward her shameless demand, I burst out.

"You do know there's a chance that I was mind-controlled, right?!" I retorted. "So why would I give an apology gift when I was also the victim?"

"Haaah!"

Amelia dramatically gasped, as if I had asked her for her kidneys, and widened her eyes.

She then proceeded to wipe non-existent tears off her face and said:

"Wow, you not only hurt me, but you refuse to compensate for hurting my feelings? Do they teach these ethics in the Morningstar household?"

"..."

Faking snobs and sniffs, she put on a show that would put even the greatest actors to shame.

Before I could speak up, however, bright lights suddenly flashed on us. Squinting my eyes, I looked around and saw crowds of media reporters swarming towards us.

Ahh, fuck.

Today's match was a significant event, attracting not only cadets of our academy but also many people who were permitted to attend this event from outside the City.

Among the attendees were top media associates, including influencers and reporters from all over the world.

They were granted complete access to roam freely within the Academy grounds, given the magnitude of today's event.

As we continued chatting and walking, we failed to notice that some reporters had started following us.

To make matters worse, Amelia was crying, albeit only in acting.

And on top of that, the cadets were explicitly asked to avoid any controversies.

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that we had messed up, right?

Given our history, we shouldn't even be seen a meter close to each other!

As I gave a sidelong glance to the girl walking beside me, she returned the look and muttered, "...Well, damn."

After choosing to remain silent in the face of a flood of questions thrown at us and not escalate any controversies that we might have given birth to any further, we decided to quickly part ways with each other.

Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would soon be receiving an earful from a certain someone again.

Haaaa.

Anyway, right now I was casually strolling through the Academy, taking in the festive decorations in the stadium as if it were a grand festival day.

The stadium was adorned with vibrant banners and colorful streamers.

Flags of all four Ruling Houses fluttered in the breeze, and the air was filled with the buzz of chatter and laughter.

I could even see the Morningstar family flag. It had a sigil of a wolf howling with the backdrop of the rising sun at dawn.

The podium at the far end was decked with dazzling lights, making it a focal point of attention.

Meanwhile, tall spotlights stood around the circular, concrete ground at the center of the stadium, where our matches would take place.

Reporters were already present, busy capturing the moment, as influencers took selfies or made videos, and the audience in the stands grew increasingly impatient.

They wanted to start the match as soon as possible.

As I casually walked through the crowd of cadets rushing to the pavilion building where I myself was headed, a strange feeling settled in my heart.

It reminded me of the same sensation I experienced in Silveserine.

These people… will die.

It felt like I was in a graveyard, surrounded by the graves of the people walking beside me.

So many lives will be lost today and so much blood will be spilled, despite my efforts to prevent it.

Dammit, Lucas, focus!

Slapping my cheeks, I shook my head and dismissed such dark thoughts. I had already done what I could.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted someone I instantly recognized without even turning my head.

It was Nero Dekrauf.

Yes, whatever will happen today, he is to blame for all of it.

Today is the day he'll realize he's not as unstoppable as he thinks he is. I'll make sure of that.