Due to Kate’s confession that she didn’t give a damn about setbacks, we felt more bewildered than angry. No one else dared to speak up, and a deep silence settled in the room.
While Kate was known for her impulsive nature, this was beyond accelerating with the pedal to the floor. I wonder what kind of thought process she had.
As the heavy silence hung in the air, Rina, who had managed to maintain her composure, finally spoke up quietly.
“Cardinal Kate.”
“Yes, please speak.”
“I hesitate to say this, but…”
Rina paused briefly, her face showing signs of deep contemplation before she blurted out.
“Do you have any friends?”
“What?”
Initially, Kate looked puzzled, raising her eyebrows. Rina clarified her question.
“I asked if you have anyone you’d consider friends.”
“Everyone under the protection of the Luminous is both my friend and sibling.”
“… …”
In response to Kate’s devoted answer, Rina nodded and looked at her with a mixture of compassion and pity in her azure eyes.
According to Marie’s words, Rina had exceptional observational skills. Could it be that he was trying to analyze Kate’s psychology by asking her if she had any friends?
Rina almost emptied her teacup, then, after taking a deep breath, she spoke in her characteristic gentle tone.
“My question isn’t about that. When I mentioned a friend, I meant someone who can be treated without prejudice regardless of their profession, gender, or status. It’s about distinguishing between work and personal life, someone with whom you can be yourself on an equal footing in private spaces. Lastly, I meant someone of a similar age to Isaac, Marie, and Cecily, like Cardinal Kate.”
“… …”
“Are there such friends in Cardinal’s life?”
“Um…”
Kate, upon hearing Rina’s explanation, lowered her head with a flicker of emerald in her eyes. She seemed to be contemplating for a moment, then raised her head to look at me.
I was slightly apprehensive about what might come out of her mouth next, but fortunately, her next words were surprisingly normal.
“… There is someone I confide in.”
“Who is it?”
“His Holiness.”
His Holiness is a title used to address the Pope. It seems that even the people Kate interacts with are exceptional.
Upon hearing this answer, Rina immediately asked her next question.
“May I ask how old His Holiness is?”
“He is currently eighty years old.”
“Then what about Cardinal Kate?”
“I have lived 20 years.”
At that age, they were not friends, but rather a grandfather and granddaughter. In other words, it meant that there was no one else besides the Pope with whom she could confide her inner worries.
No one else but Luminous personally granted her his grace, so there must have been a great deal of attention directed towards her within the church as well. Regardless of the direction of that attention, many aspects of her life would have been limited. Even fellow clergy would not have dared to approach her recklessly, so she probably had very few “friends” who got along with her without any issues.
Furthermore, she possessed such strong power that she rose to the position of Grand Inquisitor at a young age. She was a true powerhouse, so approaching her was out of the question. Her peculiar thought process, solely focused on God, could likely be attributed to this reason. Regardless of her education, she was bound to have significant shortcomings in human relationships.
“I’m not talking about the kind of friend Cardinal Kate has in mind. I can’t put it into words, but I mean it in a broader sense.”
“A broader sense… I don’t quite understand.”
“You’ll come to understand as time goes on. Perhaps the reason why she’s drawn to Isaac is because she may have met someone who could be her first real friend. Isaac is someone who receives favor from Luminous like Cardinal Kate.”
Rina offered a very plausible explanation befitting her position as a princess. Kate, on the other hand, listened to the story and looked at me with a pensive expression. She still didn’t seem to have a clear grasp of it, but this was a problem that time would resolve. I looked into Kate’s emerald eyes and began to speak.
“I also agree with Rina’s words. Currently, Kate is happy to find someone she can have a normal conversation with on an equal footing, so it can be concluded that it’s not love.”
“Friendship is a relationship that can’t be explained in words. You can play pranks on each other, but you shouldn’t be rude. It’s not something that happens all at once, but gradually seeps into that person’s life and can occupy a significant part of it.”
When it comes to important human relationships, you can list three: family, lover, and finally, friends. Family is undoubtedly a precious presence, a lover can fill in your missing parts, and they can also create another life. And friends, even though their bodies are apart, can be considered as one. That’s how important a friend’s presence is in a person’s life.
But Kate hasn’t had anyone she could call a friend until now. If you don’t have friends from the beginning, there’s a good chance you don’t even know what loneliness is.
“So, I’ll accept it if it’s just friendship, not love. By the way, I’m not giving my seed to friends.”
“Friends… I don’t really understand. With Luminous’s protection, aren’t we all friends and brothers?”
“That’s doctrine, it’s different when it comes to human relationships.”
I think I vaguely understand. Kate is in a situation akin to a frog in a well. I understand why Luminous scolded her and told her to find her own happiness. Even in Luminous’s eyes, Kate’s limited human relationships are heartbreaking to the point of tears.
In my past life, I lived as if I had disconnected from the world ever since I lost my parents in an accident, but Kate was in a completely wrong state right from the first button.
She faithfully follows the doctrine, but personally, she’s a woman who can’t even form any proper relationships. Perhaps even loneliness couldn’t comfort her.
As I thought of this, I felt a warm feeling and comforted her with a gentle voice.
“Miss Kate, God can play a significant role in a person’s life, but it cannot take over everything, can it? Luminous loves you, but he doesn’t envelop you entirely? He scolded you a bit this time too…”
“Yes.”
“So, it’s not too late even now. Slowly turn your gaze to other places. You’re still worshiping Luminous, but it’s your life, Miss Kate. Oh, by the way, you mentioned you lived in the countryside, right? When did you receive Luminous’s grace?”
“I was five years old. The village was in chaos because it was attacked by bandits. That’s when Luminous bestowed his light upon me.”
“… …”
I must have stepped on a mine. She was speaking with a calm tone, but there was clearly sadness in her words. I had originally planned to continue the conversation as if recalling a friend from the countryside, but I couldn’t have imagined such a hidden past.
In my confusion about what to say next, I managed to open my mouth and apologize.
“… I’m sorry. I had no idea such an event had occurred.”
“It’s okay. If you feel really sorry, you can give me your seed.”
“… …”
Is that a joke? It must be a joke. It has to be a joke.
When she made a silly joke (?), I couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly.
“… Anyway, Kate. I can say that the feeling you have for me is not love. It’s the joy of meeting someone who could become a friend. It’s probably a feeling you’re experiencing for the first time, so it might be confusing.”
“I see. So what does it mean that my heart races when I see Mr. Isaac’s face?”
“Arrhy… Well, it’s anticipation.”
I almost called it arrhythmia. Kate nodded as she listened to my answer and then looked alternately at Marie and Cecily on either side of me. Then, she put her hand on her chest and tilted her head as if something was strange.
“Unlike with Mr. Isaac, my heart isn’t racing. Does that mean we’re not friends yet?”
“You’ll know when you keep looking at their faces. It’s a bit strange to become friends in just one day.”
It’s not really feasible to become close to people who just insulted me moments ago, especially since the first impression was still fresh in their mind. Besides, their gaze towards Kate wasn’t too favorable.
Kate blinked her eyes a couple of times and then nodded her head. She seemed to have convinced herself of something.
“I understand. This unfamiliar feeling I’m experiencing… it’s not love, but friendship, right?”
“Rather than friendship, it’s more like anticipation. It’s the anticipation that you can have a friend as a person, not as someone united by the doctrine.”
“I see. I’ll understand. What about the seed…”
“That’s when you truly feel love, not right now.”
It somehow felt like brainwashing ,implanting knowledge one by one. However, Kate’s mind was already filled with what she learned in the church, so I feel I had to do it this way. If Luminous were to check Kate’s condition, they might be astonished. While God can provide guidance, they cannot offer education, which led to this outcome.
Tomorrow, I want to go to the temple and ask how they educated the child, but the issue seems to lie within the church rather than with Luminous.
“Anyway, let’s end this conversation here. Do you have anything else you’d like to discuss?”
“I don’t have anything specific.”
“I do have a question I’d like to ask if that’s okay?”
Cecily, who had been silently listening to the conversation, asked her question. Kate’s gaze turned towards her.
Cecily brought up the questions she had been curious about while looking directly at Kate.
“As I was listening to Lady Kate’s words, it seemed a bit strange. Does the Luminous Church refer to a man’s… semen as ‘seed’?”
“A man’s… semen?”
“Yes.”
“Do they describe it as something other than a seed?”
But the reaction was strange. Normally, one would understand, but Kate had a perplexed expression as if she didn’t understand what Cecily was saying.
At this, not only Cecily but also others made subtle expressions, indicating that they felt uncomfortable. Then, Cecily asked in a hesitant voice.
“…Cardinal Kate.”
“Yes, please go ahead.”
“Do you know how children are born?”
“Of course. I learned that when a man’s seed enters a woman, a child is conceived.”
“No, I mean in more detail. Please explain in detail.”
Kate made a face as if to ask why she was asking such a question and then explained as if she were teaching from the pulpit. It seemed like some awkward words might come out, but it was not at all.
“I heard that white seeds grow in a man’s body and can be artificially expelled. If a woman consumes that seed, does a child not develop?”
“…She consumes it? Where?”
“Naturally, through the mouth. Where else would she consume it?”
What did I just hear? While I couldn’t even open my mouth, Marie asked urgently this time.
“Um, then what about men and women sleeping in the same bed? You haven’t heard of that kind of story?”
“Oh. I heard about that too. But I heard that it doesn’t result in a child. The most important thing is the seed.”
This was beyond absurd. Even Rina, who was sitting across from me, had her mouth wide open in shock.
If even Rina makes that kind of expression, we can guess how serious Kate’s sexual knowledge is. Originally, Rina used to blush in such conversations.
I gazed at Kate, who was making an innocent expression, and recalled something that had happened in the dormitory before.
“Wait a moment, Miss Kate. Didn’t you say something like this to me before? That you have confidence in your face and figure.”
“Yes.”
“Why did you say that?”
“I learned that if a woman has a beautiful face and body, it means a man’s seed will come out better, especially if they are naked. It enhances the effect.”
“Then, what about rape? Do you know what that means?”
“Of course. It’s a criminal act where a man forcibly feeds his seed to a woman.”
“… …”
She left out the most important part. But is it even possible? People naturally go through puberty, and especially for women, they also experience menstruation. It’s natural to develop an interest in these things, so why would they leave out the most crucial part?
As I sighed with both hands on my face, Cecily, who seemed to have similar thoughts, asked quietly.
“Well then… Do you know where a man’s seed comes from?”
“No, I learned that when a man gives his seed to a woman, I would naturally find out.”
“… …”
This is so frustrating.
Translators note:
