Huo Changyuan walked alone in the roofed corridor, feeling the cold, bitter wind whistling through the night sky. Rationally, he knew that he shouldn’t have this kind of thought, but he couldn’t help thinking — if Cheng Yujin was in Cheng Yumo’s position today, how would she handle the situation?
If it was Cheng Yujin, she definitely wouldn’t bring up words like ‘separation’ or ‘divorce.’1 Once she brought it up, it meant that she had prepared everything and was fully determined to go through with the separation. She wouldn’t attack her husband with the loss of her child, wouldn’t curse her mother-in-law in front of her husband, and wouldn’t let her husband return to a cold, dark room after a day of tiring work, not even preparing a pot of hot tea…
No, if it was Cheng Yujin, none of these would even happen in the first place. Cheng Yujin wouldn’t fight endlessly with her mother-in-law, wouldn’t cause a rift with his husband for the matter of taking concubines, and they wouldn’t lose their first child…
A sharp pain suddenly jolted Huo Changyuan awake. No, in fact, they lost their first child. The first and only son between him and Cheng Yujin in his previous life died in that icy lake. Alone, with no one by his side…
Was this his retribution? In two lifetimes, the first child he most anticipated — and actually loved the most — died so tragically.
The Crown Princess, now admired by everyone, should actually be his wife.
Who in the capital did not envy the deep love between the Crown Prince and Crown Princess? Every single clothing article worn by the Crown Prince was prepared personally by the Crown Princess. Wherever the Crown Princess went, the Crown Prince would send and pick her up in person. The two were well-matched in appearance and equally graceful in bearings. They played chess, drew pictures together, chatted freely about the past and present, and told jokes that only the two understood. Being well-matched in ability and were each other’s closest person — it was no exaggeration to say that the Eastern Palace couple demonstrated the so-called ‘Harmony’ and ‘Intimacy’ between a husband and wife to the extreme. They were indeed the most perfect model of a married couple that everyone envied.
However, these beautiful marriages should originally belong to him, Huo Changyuan.
Huo Changyuan closed his eyes in pain, forcefully shutting the surging emotions in his heart. Why did he lose his mind and break the engagement with Cheng Yujin? In his previous life, why didn’t he cherish Cheng Yujin, but cause her to die so young?
The perfect couple everyone envies should be about them.
These thoughts were like dormant beasts — once freed from the cage, they could no longer be suppressed. Many memories flashed through Huo Changyuan’s mind. He had been struggling to suppress them, but at this moment, all his effort was in vain.
In his previous life, he should not have been soft and indulged Cheng Yumo during Cheng Yujin’s pregnancy. He should not be shaken when he learns the truth and chooses to escape to the military barrack. He should stay in the manor on the day of Cheng Yujin’s delivery instead of staying in the barrack and letting her die in childbirth.
Huo Changyuan finally realized his feeling. The moment he regained consciousness in that icy cave, the beautiful and radiant girl he saw for the first time had become the goddess in his heart.
The girl was bright and beautiful, and she nodded with a brilliant smile at him.
At that moment, something in Huo Changyuan’s heart seemed to shatter. He thought he was falling in love with the girl who saved him, but in fact, the one who stole his heart was the girl he saw the morning after.
All of Huo Changyuan’s liking, obsession, and even yearning towards Cheng Yumo actually came from this. What he felt towards the girl who saved his life was not love, just gratitude. What really drove him crazy was that glimpse of a dazzling figure that he saw when he first opened his eyes.
From then on, Huo Changyuan’s memory of his savior overlapped with the goddess in his heart — so much that he was unable to extricate himself unless he married her. Later, Huo Changyuan transplanted this feeling to Cheng Yumo and mistakenly thought she was the one he loved.
That’s why Huo Changyuan was so painfully torn apart when Cheng Yumo told him the truth in his previous life. His feelings for the goddess in his heart were so sincere that he was in agony. Unable to face his wife, Huo Changyuan chose to run away. It took him a long time to sort out his feelings. Huo Changyuan finally separated himself from the past, realizing that infatuation at first sight was no match for the responsibility he shouldered. Once he realized this, Huo Changyuan made up his mind to take responsibility for his wife and their child, but it was at this time that a messenger came from the manor, informing him that his wife had passed away.
She was dead.
The pain was so much that Huo Changyuan suddenly couldn’t breathe. After questioning the messenger several times, he discovered in despair that it was true. Later, Huo Changyuan didn’t dare to face his eldest son. As long as he saw the child’s face that resembled Cheng Yujin, Huo Changyuan seemed to return to the morning when he received the news of her death, so painful that he couldn’t breathe.
The heartache that was about to tear him apart finally made Huo Changyuan understand who the person he truly loved was. The one with whom he fell in love at first sight and desperately wanted to marry was…
Unfortunately, it was too late.
The pain from the previous life seemed to be carried over to this life, and now Huo Changyuan’s chest began to palpitate. Huo Changyuan seemed to be plunged into a sea of suffering and regret. The thing he regretted the most was being absent during Cheng Yujin’s delivery, allowing his mother to make the decision to save the child instead of Cheng Yujin.
Suddenly, an intuition flicked Huo Changyuan. He raised his head and looked in the direction of the north, toward the imperial palace.
“Has her labor… begun?”
< Advanced TOC >
T/N:
Missing last week’s update due to sudden emergency, so here they are.
