Last chapter of the mass release.
Please send some support this way boys, girls, trans, helicopters, magical beings!
Yomite knew he had to motivate her a little, "Come on...don't be a little kid, aren't you the mighty 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor? Show some of your skills so that I will take you a bit more seriously."
Hu Tao lifted her gaze and mischievously smiled, "My skills? Sure! I will show you...Just you wait...you will be blown away..." The twisted smile on Hu Tao's lips was plain for anyone to see.
Yomite had a bad premonition. He already dealt with a blonde-haired crying child that had a breakdown not too many minutes ago...he simply couldn't handle another one so he asked Hu Tao to take his place, but now he wasn't sure if it was the best idea as whenever he leaves something to her, it goes horribly wrong.
Hu Tao stood up just in front of the little boy and asked him, "What's your name?"
"Tim...mie..."
"Timmie? Alright, Timmie! Do you like jokes? Jokes are fun aren't they?" Hu Tao inquired with a bit of a creepy expression on her face.
"Yes..." Timmie nodded again, still kind of sad that the pigeons had disappeared.
"Good! Then do you know this one? Why can't Hilichurls climb their tower?"
Both Yomite and the child were interested. Yomite especially since it was about the Hilichurl monsters and he wanted to know their habits or how they looked like.
Timmie on the other hand looked troubled but still asked, "Umm...because the tower was too high?"
"—because they are dead. And you will be too someday, so go get your 30% family discount coffin coupons as you will never know when you will be in a dire need of an extra pair for you or your remaining family member!" She said while pulling out a few legit-looking yellow discount coupons that read "30%" from her robe.
Silence enveloped the beautiful scenery, the only thing that could be heard, was the movement of the flowing water under the bridge.
"..."
Yomite was simply speechless. 'She just said that...to a child...'
"Uweeeh..." The kid, of course, started crying again. Nothing has changed.
She glanced at Yomite and shook her head in confusion, "Whatever should I do...Assistant-kun...he is still crying...The joke was funny too..."
"..."
"Assistant-kun?"
"..."
Yomite was simply standing there as if he turned himself off. No movement or sound. Simply nothing...It was his fault after all. He knew how she acted yet he still asked her to be of help. What a moron he was.
"You are a terrible person, I hate you!" Timmie pointed his finger at her as he cried.
Hu Tao shrugged her shoulders and murmured, "Every joke will offend at least one person...Unfortunately, you were the one...It was pretty funny to me."
Yomite sighed.
Today was a tough day. The first day of his Isekai adventures was about to end...The sky was getting dark. A few minutes later, the others will show up and they will go on a quest.
'Yes, let's go with that. Let's focus on that and ignore everything else.'
"I...let's just...not talk about it and pretend this didn't happen...Hu Tao...apologize to the kid...please..." Yomite was spent. He gazed into the distance, his lips trembling. He had enough for today.
Hu Tao raised her hand and spoke in a half-jokingly matter, "Kay, Kay! You can count on me!"
She knelt down near the crying Timmie and said in an apologetic voice, "I am so sorry! I will tell you a really really funny joke if you stop crying!"
Timmie wiped his tears and snot away while gazing at her suspiciously, "A really really funny joke?"
Hu Tao nodded, "Yes, it's something related to you as well! I know you must have heard it at least once in your life! It's simply amazing!" she laughed just thinking about it.
Timmie thought for a second and nodded, "Umu..."
"Hehe..."
This time, Yomite was facing Hu Tao's back, so he couldn't see the deranged face she was currently making. A face that was unbefitting of her. She opened her mouth and spoke in a low tone, "Knock, knock."
"O-Oh...W-Who is there?" Timmie recognized this format of a joke. It was a classic. His mom told him this specific joke all the time and he never failed to laugh.
"'Definitely'!" *pfft*! *cough* *cough*
Hu Tao coughed as she couldn't hold it in and started giggling.
"D-Definitely who?" Timmie asked, noticing Hu Tao's expression.
"Definitely not your daddy!"
"..."
*Pfft*
"Bu-hahahah!" Hu Tao emptied her lungs and couldn't stop laughing. Laughing like mad for thirty straight seconds without stopping.
After she recovered, she glanced at the boy and noticed that he wasn't laughing for some reason. The joke was just so good, so why not laugh?
"Not funny?" she frowned.
Rather than happiness from the laugher he should be feeling, Timmie was currently feeling other kinds of emotions.
He was wallowing disgracefully, practically drowning in tears. Liquid was pouring from every cavity in his face. Whether it was tears or snot. The child has simply lost it.
"I-I...Hate you!"
He ran away, screaming and crying back into the city of Mondstadt. The two guarding Knights heard the commotion and arrived, but once they found out who was behind it, they quickly retreated back into the city.
Who knows what that crazy person might do to them after all. Curse them? Bury them? Sell their organs? Burn them alive?
There were all kinds of rumors regarding this person, but one particular rumor was simply the extreme and stood out from the rest.
Hu Tao, the Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, kidnapped children and buried them alive in her backyard while saying she was freeing them out of their misery, laughing maniacally.
Even the Millelith of Liyue were investigating this matter and found out that it was partially true, but also a bit of a misconception.
They didn't explain it to the masses in detail, but people only cared about the fact that it was confirmed.
One of the worst rumors about Hu Tao was confirmed to be true. Wouldn't that make the other less extreme rumors about her also true then?
Even the retainers of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor were frightened about the news.
Information spread quickly and all around the world, people knew that in Liyue, there was a certain psychopath who was doing whatever she wanted and was getting away with it, without any kind of punishment. That's why people avoided her at any cost.
Currently, there was even a book, or rather, a series of tips circulating on the market of Liyue, about things people should always follow when they are in Liyue.
A few of the tips were also related to her.
No matter what you do.
Don't make contact with Hu Tao. Don't look at her, don't communicate, just ignore her and pray that you won't meet her at night, sitting on some rooftop, gazing at the moon.
"So silly...The jokes were funny too. Why the tears?" Hu Tao was indifferent.
Having lost count of how many sighs he'd made today, Yomite made one more as he decided that Hu Tao was simply going too far. He didn't know what was bothering her to pick on the kid, but she clearly went too far.
He grabbed her by the back of her neck and lifted her up. She was much lighter than he expected, or maybe his body was simply too strong and he had yet to grasp how to use a certain percentage of his strength.
She hung, her feet dangling in the air, she felt like a kitten grabbed by her mother, being moved somewhere.
"Yaaay, what kind of game are we playing~?" She asked while happily swinging her legs back and forth.
"You went too far," Yomite spoke calmly.
"Eh~? I fail to see how that's my problem though~?" Hu Tao replied bluntly, her gaze unwavering, "People don't care about me, why should I care about others?"
"Hu Tao...The kid ran away crying..." Yomite murmured.
"We all cry at some point, I did too~ But after a while, you ignore, forget and forgive. That's just how mortals are~."
And that was when Yomite realized that the person in front of him, the person in his party was a complete sociopath.
After a short period of nerve-racking silence between the two of them, Yomite heard a familiar voice calling his name, "Yo, brother, I see you are getting quite intimate there! I am jealous!" It was Kaeya and the rest of the group.
"Ah~ I am envious~ holding her by the neck like that seems thrilling~." Lisa groaned with her mature, enchanting voice.
"Let's go on an adventure~!" Amber announced cheerfully while stuffing some kind of plushie into her backpack.
"Ah! It's the Bad Tattoo and the Food Thief!" A flying fairy announced, she still held a grudge for the last time.
And the last member of the group, Lumine, just simply nodded at them in greeting.
Everyone has gathered. Everyone was here. Everyone was ready.
It was time to go.
The teams were as followed.
Yomite, Hu Tao, and the leading Captain of the first excursion, Kaeya.
Lumine, Paimon, Lisa, and the leading Captain of the second excursion, Amber.
Both teams had one goal in mind, to stop the flow of the magical power within the temples, and then meet up at the last location and finish the last temple together.
"Alright, let's get going!" Paimon cheered as others nodded their heads with determined looks on their faces.
Yomite took one last glance at Hu Tao and had to admit he was wrong about her.
He said he could picture her personality within a few minutes of meeting with her, yet he was completely wrong. She was warped, in a different world than others.
Sometimes cheerful, sometimes weird, sometimes she had this gaze of indifference. Especially at the moment where she should have felt some kind of emotion, she didn't.
He just didn't understand her at all. He didn't know her well enough to judge her yet.
'Jeez... I found myself quite a prick of a companion, huh.'
***
Jean watched them leave from within the window in her office as she gazed at them with concern placed all over her face.
She let out a small sigh and got back to work.
"Good luck to all of you."
Yomite's adventure was officially beginning.
