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[? Round] You Can’t!
“Present…? Wow! That’s a pretty bracelet, but I think it’s too wide to be called feminine. Ah! Does it have a control function?”
“No.”
Why would I use such a troublesome thing?
“…Mr. Kang Han-soo…thanks for the present, but take a look at my wrist. I don’t like to be called vulnerable, but I have to say it in front of you. How could such a large bracelet fit on this slender wrist?!”
“This is an anklet.”
I immediately corrected her misunderstanding. When I robbed the treasure trove of the bird-brain, I picked one that was easy to carry from among the ornaments I found. That was this anklet. Socks and stockings were more familiar on Earth, but the angels, the majority of exhibitionists, wore these ornaments.
“Okay, turn around.”
“Why?”
“Are you asking because you don’t know?”
“I’m asking because I know. You’re going to ambush me when I turn around, right?”
“That’s completely wrong! I mean, you should turn around while I get dressed. Think of it as common sense. Do I have any grudge against you? How could you imagine an ambush in this situation….”
“Hey, Factoria. What’s wrong with my common sense?”
I am perfectly normal. I snuck into the women’s dormitory and ran into a naked woman. If this were the Earth, she would have screamed and called the police as soon as she found me here. But this fantasy bedroom was perfectly soundproofed. There were also no cell phones, so she couldn’t call for help.
What was this woman’s reaction in this case? First, attacking the intruder after reducing his vigilance. Because when the man who saw her naked body died, it was as if no one had seen it. Certainly, there wasn’t a potbelly cleverly hidden under her clothing.
“I don’t have a potbelly!”
“It’s just an example. So why are you upset?”
“Ugh…”
“You don’t have to worry about getting dressed. You just have to answer what I’m asking while you’re covered in that blanket.”
“Information about Earth?”
“Yeah.”
She seems to have woken up a bit now. Factoria, who gave up on her clothes and stuck her face out of the blanket, began to speak calmly.
“Your parents are doing fine.”
“…”
I was relieved to hear that. However, I hadn’t even started asking any specific questions yet, so I couldn’t laugh at Factoria’s ability to anticipate my thoughts.
“You’re not trying to do anything, right?”
“I didn’t! I don’t want you to have a grudge against me, after all! I was just curious about what kind of people your parents were, so I did a little research. Ah! Don’t worry about it. I researched on my own without hiring anyone.”
“Right…”
“You should thank me.”
“…Thank you for informing me that my parents are safe.”
I frankly bowed my head and expressed my gratitude. How surprised was I to hear that the city was destroyed by an alien invasion in the 9th playthrough? I’m relieved now.
“What do you mean thank you…?”
“What? Why are you making a face like you’ve witnessed a miracle.”
“It’s indeed a miracle. I didn’t expect you to say thank you.”
“I am a hero.”
I’m not an asshole who bites the hand that feeds him.
“In that sense, I’m a hero, too. I’m not shameless enough to just tell you about your parents and be thanked. Instead, I told them that you’ve been working for my company since you went missing about five years ago.”
“…I’m screwed.”
You said that I hadn’t shown my nose in five years because I was too busy with work? My mother’s tennis racket won’t forgive me. It didn’t help me; it just made things more complicated.
“Don’t worry too much. I convinced them well.”
“You?”
“Yes, there’s a saying. If you’re going to lie, mix in the truth a little. Kang Han-soo, you may not know, but the social structure and people’s consciousness have changed as more people have been to the Fantasy Continent.”
People who treated the supernatural as fake now began to admit it. This is what she was saying.
“Do my parents believe that?”
“As I said, they didn’t believe it at first, but they agreed when I showed them some simple magic.”
“Hmm…”
“Is there anything else you want to know?”
“No.”
I had a rough idea of the situation on Earth. It was because I had heard everything from the most recently captured Old Angel. The first hero who ran away and established a country wanted to prevent more victims like him from appearing to prevent the Fantasy God’s power from growing stronger.
So, the invasion of Earth started, but it wasn’t aggressive. This was because the Earth is strongly stimulated, the hostility of the natives (Earthlings) increased, and the number of applicants for the fantasy elementary education curriculum increased as well.
It was still increasing even now. So I heard they were looking for other measures.
“I also got quite a bit of information about Prince Boris’s beloved wife, the Mermaid Lady. Fufufu! To brag a little, my position as the only foreign prisoner of war is very high.
“I suppose so.”
For me, it was nothing but annoying. The only prisoner? At that time, I could have captured more members of Boris’s harem if I wanted to. I just didn’t do it because I was lazy. Factoria began to unravel other small stories. She researched the Golem D that was handed over to her and made a mass-produced android, and through it, gained enormous wealth and fame…
“I don’t know if I can tell you a complicated story. The society and economy classes I know stopped in middle school.”
“It looks like you’re more of a natural science and engineering person.”
“You are?”
“I learned evenly without distinction. But if I had to judge which one was more helpful, I would say that it was humanities. The natives of the Fantasy Continent were pure, and I could convince them with just a little bit of the truth.”
Our conversation continued. Then it came back to the first subject.
“This is no ordinary anklet. Instead, it looks like a great treasure with an angel’s blessing on it. Is there any hidden feature that I am not aware of?”
“Yes.”
“Really?!”
“But it is currently inactive. So if you defeat a human with a Transcendental Realm Skill, you can turn him into a spirit. Just like this.”
I summoned the spirits. In the past, they only wore sesame leaf-shaped underwear, but after seeing the transformation during the day, I changed them into decent outfits. It was because when I saw the corpses dressed in strange outfits, I felt, “This guy is an irredeemable pervert!”
There was no way I could look at them.
“All of them are alien executives…?”
Factoria, who saw the abilities of my spirits, went speechless. She was so surprised that she threw the blanket back and lifted her upper body. She seemed to have forgotten that she was currently naked.
“Do you know the value of the anklet now?”
“Thank you very much!”
“I’m done with my business, so I’m leaving.”
“Ah! Wait! Since you’ve helped me before, could you help me one more time? I’ll make sure to pay the price on Earth.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
“It’s not that difficult. And it’s not a bad suggestion for you either. Wouldn’t it be nice if the son who returned home after five years gave his parents a 3,558 square feet house and a luxury foreign car as a gift?”
“Huh! I can do that for myself.”
I snorted. If I sell just one piece of the angel’s equipment in my warehouse right now, I could make as much money as I want.
“Isn’t that bothersome?”
“Do you think helping you isn’t bothersome?”
“Is it bothersome to hold hands with a pretty girl and stare at her breasts and ass with wolf-like eyes?”
“That’s instinct.”
I didn’t know why she was talking about this all of a sudden. Factoria continued, however.
“Please be my boyfriend.”
*
As I heard from a B-Class ‘star’ friend I saved from a dieting evil dragon, the female dormitory was divided into three factions: straight, lesbian, and misfit. I was at the scene of that strange faction’s fight.
Why do sexual preferences need factions? I wish someone could explain it a bit more scientifically.
“Oh, my! Victoria. I was wondering why the female fox hiding in the burrow came out. It turned out that you brought a dirty male into the dormitory, huh?”
“Catherine, listen. My friend’s gender doesn’t matter. It’s all about how strong he is on the hunt.”
“The only S-Class…”
“Fufu! How does it feel to be weaker than the males you hate?”
After separating with Factoria after receiving her bizarre request, I received an invitation in the morning and came back under the formal procedures. Now I was on the third floor of the women’s dormitory, watching two women growling at each other.
Of course, they weren’t alone. There were many women behind the beauties representing the two factions. But the scale was tilted to one side. I was a little surprised. I didn’t know there were so many lesbians on Earth.
“Huh! Would you even give your ass to a good-looking male?”
“As expected, you’re crooked. He’s not a man; he’s a friend.”
“That is sophistry! A male is still a male.”
“It doesn’t make sense. Do you guys have the same thoughts as Catherine?”
…Why did I come here? There was no one to answer that question, not even Factoria. If the great Master Mollan had been by my side, he would have given me a simple and clear answer while taunting me. His absence couldn’t be helped, though. So this was a question I had to figure out on my own.
“Hey, ladies. There is no point in such empty talk. How can we conclude by fighting all day with our tongues?”
I jumped into the conversation with such banter, and I was startled.
“Oh, my God!”
It’s because the Holy Sword Nucleon, which I just summoned to intimidate them, slipped out of my hand. Last night my Grade S maid, Elise, must have put on too much oil while massaging my body. So this wasn’t my fault.
Bwoong- Slaaaash!
The Holy Sword that flew horizontally as a boomerang swept away all obstacles in front of it.
“Kyaaaaaah?!”
“W-what the hell-?”
“Heck?!”
Half of the corridor on the third floor of the women’s dormitory, beautifully decorated with art, was instantly dyed with red. It would take a long time to clean, but at least the noise pollution had disappeared.
Zhiiiiing-
“Factoria. I haven’t heard it yet, but what can I do to help?”
“…I don’t think you have to help.”
“Really? But don’t forget. Even if I didn’t do anything, my travel expenses are high.”
Even if you use public transportation because you change your mind after calling a chauffeur service, you have to pay for his trip. The same went for me.
“Yeah! I will never forget it!”
Factoria nodded eagerly.
“And please recommend someone from the A-Class. I only want to get a fifth place at the Festival. I originally planned to hire four people from the male dormitory, but I changed my mind a while ago. Because I’m a fair hero.”
“Four people…? Ah!”
Two men, two women. I decided to share equally. It was also very stupid that the ranking was divided by gender rather than abilities.
For example, four female students scored 100, 99, 98, and 97 points. And let’s say four boys got 70, 69, 68, and 67 points. But let’s be fair…
The 1st place: 100 points
The 2nd place: 70 points
The 3rd place: 99 points
The 4th place: 69 points
Should I do it this way? It was still a similar situation to this ridiculous example. The girls who couldn’t stop the Holy Sword that slipped from my hands wore A-Class name tags. This may be a serious issue of fairness.
“Please recommend only two decent girls other than you. I’ll push them hard.”
“Why can’t I?”
“For the sake of fairness.”
That’s never going to happen! So I gave Factoria an anklet to naturally send the medium imbued with my unique abilities to Earth. But what if she attended the secondary education center? She would go through secondary education regardless of her rank.
“I didn’t offer because it felt like teaching a fish how to swim. But I’m currently the first place among the girls and second place overall.”
“Then give me the anklet!”
“I don’t want to! I’d rather kill- no, I won’t give it anyway! What in the hell is a man who steals the thing that he had given away?!”
“Here he is! If you want the anklet, you can’t. Got it?”
