Khan's mood made a hundred and eighty degrees turn at that realization. Suddenly, the battlefield and the meeting disappeared from his thoughts, and his mind played a scene that replaced his current urges with far different ones.
Love was one of Khan's strongest emotions, and experiencing it with his new mindset revealed how deeply it went. The promise with Monica popped into his mind, and realizing that he had broken it completely distracted him from his immediate problems.
'Dammit,' Khan cursed, storing his phone in his underwear. He initially wanted to go directly into his room, but the sight of the empty container reminded him of his injuries.
Luckily for Khan, finding a doctor was easy due to the almost empty state of the building. He only had to return to the main hall to get his second dose of the slimy medicine. The Thilku rechecked him with scanners but quickly let him go.
Khan hurried back to his room, throwing his knife on the bed before jumping next to it and drawing his phone. He had already forgotten about his deal with Onp. Only Monica existed for him now.
'Fuck,' Khan cursed again as soon as a picture of Monica filled the screen. He brought the device to his forehead while squeezing his eyes closed to endure his new urges. An unreasonable desire was flowing through him, and there was no suppressing it.
'Dammit,' Khan cursed for the third time, opening his eyes and slamming his back on the mattress. His body complained when his head hit the pillow, but he didn't mind it. His focus remained on the phone, and his fingers started a video before putting it beside his ear.
Khan had picked a random video but still lost himself in it. A voice he had learned to love invaded his ears, partially appeasing his new urge. Some satisfaction arrived, but his greed knew no end.
'I guess I asked for this,' Khan sighed. He knew exactly what was happening to him. Living with the chaos element had prepared him for that moment.
Khan's mana took different shapes once his emotions came into play, but the results were by no means complicated to understand. The unreasonable nature of his element led to a simple mindset. Khan wanted everything, and he wanted it now.
Retaining calm with Onp had been easier. After all, the Thilku's capes were nothing but a whim. Khan needed them to establish an undeniable alliance with the Empire and increase his political relevance, but they were nothing compared to his love.
'Why aren't you here?' Khan wondered, angry at the emptiness of his bed. He opened his eyes, ready to punch the wall, but the sight of the cracks stopped him. Still, the symphony had different plans.
The weight of Khan's presence depended on his will. The stronger his desire, the bigger the effects he could apply to the symphony. His love was speaking now, so the synthetic mana became an extension of his mind, and his glare at the wall turned into an attack.
The metal screeched as the synthetic mana tried to bend the many cracks' edges. Khan didn't add his energy to the environment, so the attack didn't move anything. Yet, it tried, which proved the power of his new state.
Khan promptly distracted himself, bringing his focus to the phone. Seeing Monica appeased him again, but he still groaned to express annoyance.
The unreasonable urge didn't make Khan go mental. That intense reaction had been a combination of a few events. His promise to Monica, the novelty of his state, and the current privacy had allowed him to let loose a bit, creating a nigh-childish attitude.
The violence of the urge quickly waned, but Khan's thoughts didn't move from the topic. He leaned on the damaged wall, holding the phone with both hands. He longed for Monica's touch, but the path back to her was long, and only one achievement could shorten it.
Coldness joined Khan's scorching feelings, creating a mixture that couldn't theoretically exist. He still wanted to get to Monica but wasn't crazy enough to forsake the mission, especially since Cegnore had something linked to the only feeling stronger than his love.
'The Thilku are too slow,' Khan thought, his eyes fixed on his phone. 'As soon as I get the chance, I must leave.'
The deal about the Thilku's capes would vanish if Khan went MIA to investigate on his own, but he didn't care. A single person was faster than an army, and he had his mana core. He had a better chance of finding Cegnore's secrets on his own.
The plan formed quickly. Khan wanted to perform more tests to see if his voice could attract different opponents. However, after that, he would have to look for an opportunity, which his deal with Onp would eventually provide.
'The scanners can't be easy to move,' Khan considered, 'Especially the long-range ones. If I push the frontlines forward too quickly, the building won't be able to keep up.'
Resolve shone in Khan's eyes as that decision solidified. He knew what he had to do and found no reason to hesitate. His mana didn't like cheap imitations anyway, so he looked forward to letting loose on the battlefield again.
That deadly coldness slightly stepped aside when Khan brought his phone to his forehead. The video was still going, but he stopped looking at it to rub his face on the screen.
'I told you I would have never made it back so soon,' Khan sighed. 'Such a silly girl.'
Khan temporarily closed the video and put the phone away to straighten his back. He grabbed the container to drink the medicine before leaving it on the mattress. He knew he had to meditate, but something else took priority.
The meeting with Onp had proven what Khan had already understood on the battlefield. He couldn't return to who he was, and that transformation was bound to affect all aspects of his life.
'I can't hold back anymore,' Khan thought before a reaction in his mana reminded him of the actual truth. 'I won't hold back anymore.'
The change wasn't an obligation or an unstoppable instinct. Khan had merely decided to show his true colors all the time, and they couldn't go back into hiding anymore. He was finally whole.
That decision was good for Khan's battle prowess since it unlocked an immense field of abilities. However, his political flexibility was bound to suffer from his uncompromising stances. Cegnore wasn't a problem since it was a battlefield at its core, but the inevitable return to the Harbor could be troublesome.
'I'd be surprised if someone dared to go against me,' Khan snorted. 'Well, if they try anything funny, I'll just make a mess.'
That partial lack of worries felt liberating. Khan didn't ignore the dangers of the political world, but his approach to them would be different. He was ready to turn his performance during Francis' arrival into his starting point and go far beyond that.
That new approach might have been problematic in the past, but Khan's status granted him far more freedom now. He had the public support of many influential parties, so showing his unreasonable sides wouldn't hurt him. Chances were that the Harbor wouldn't even give him the opportunity to go crazy.
'That leaves the aliens,' Khan thought, instinctively glancing at the room's entrance.
The Ambassador's job required flexibility. Khan wouldn't always be on battlefields, so many parties might see rudeness in his firm stances, especially during political meetings. He needed to appear kinder in certain situations, and more than a few species might not deserve it.
Khan tilted his head in confusion. He lightly bumped it on the wall behind him while doubts invaded his mind. He knew he wouldn't rely on pretenses from now on, but the matter didn't even bother him too much.
'I just don't care, do I?' Khan wondered. 'I guess it depends on the species.'
Khan had no biases, but some traditions were hard to ignore. He had learned to respect Lord Exr's perspective after their talk, but things would be different from now on. He would have probably snapped at him for killing the prisoners in his current state.
'Though,' Khan realized, 'I would have also faced him differently. I probably wouldn't have left the station.'
Khan wasn't looking for actual answers. He was merely running simulations to prepare for the problems his new mindset could cause. He wasn't too worried about what he liked since his positive sides didn't disappear, but what he disliked would have to face his darkness now.
'It always comes down to power,' Khan sighed. 'I'm covered politically, and third-level warriors stronger than me can't exist, but that might not be enough.'
As Khan climbed the political ladder, he began to interact with stronger and more influential soldiers. Politics wouldn't always protect him, especially when he was in the wrong, so his personal power needed to be his first shield.
Khan opened his hands and looked at them. He saw the power running through them and the changed synthetic mana in their surroundings. There was nothing human about that scene, but Khan didn't worry. His thoughts were on far more exciting topics.
'Can I beat a fourth-level warrior now?' Khan wondered as another urge flared inside him. He knew how stupid the idea was, but part of him wanted to test it. After all, power was meant to be unleashed, and the chaos element didn't know how to stay put.
