Liiza faced her grief in a way that Khan could only describe as human. Her tears didn't stop flowing even after she fell asleep in his arms. Processing her feelings without relying on parties or intense sensations had exhausted her.
Khan didn't sleep. He lay Liiza down and let her use his lap as a pillow before facing everything he had experienced during the battle. A lot had happened in mere weeks, and he had never had the chance to process those events on his own.
Nitis had transformed Khan. The Niqols had given him so much, and part of that wasn't necessarily good. He had learnt the depths of his personality, which were incredible when they involved its bright shades. His love was powerful, intense, and profound. His affection toward his friends was pure and honest. His determination and resolve were immense.
However, the dark shades of his personality shared those intense and powerful features. His desperation was boundless, his coldness could make him see his acquaintances as sacrificial pawns, and his detachment was scary. Khan's kill count had skyrocketed, and he didn't even keep track of it anymore. He didn't like taking lives, but he wouldn't hesitate to wave his knife if the situation required it, and the event wouldn't affect him too much either.
Khan had learnt to feel with more intensity than aliens who basically worshipped emotions. The cracks in his personality had only widened because of that. His emotional spectrum had expanded on both good and bad sides, and he couldn't take any of that back. His mind forced him to experience everything, which wasn't ideal when his intense love for Liiza and his cold approach to battles coexisted.
The lack of regret for regret was the feature that scared Khan the most. He wasn't a murderer who justified his actions through delusional thoughts. He could inspect everything with impersonal eyes and understand when something was generally wrong. Yet, he had his reasons for everything that appeared bad or evil.
The killing of the mutated Niqols was an act of mercy. Khan had spared that species from a massive amount of pain. His betrayal of the Global Army was nothing important. Even Captain Erbair saw it as a regular occurrence when it came to ambassadors. The blood on his hands always had a reason. He wasn't a mindless killer. He was a soldier with orders who happened to be good at taking lives.
The world could be evil and cruel. Khan's nightmares were a constant reminder of how life could punish ordinary people for no reason at all. That alone made him accept that he wasn't turning into a monster. He was only joining the unavoidable system that ruled over the whole universe. Violence was a common theme that no species seemed able to escape.
Still, the nature of the world was only part of the reason behind his current acceptance. It would have taken Khan far longer to be at peace with his present self if it weren't for the girl sleeping on his lap. Liiza had taught him so much about feelings that he didn't even recall how he faced them before. Also, she had given him love so intense that all the ugly scenes seen during his life felt worth it since she could rest on him.
Khan knew that it was easier to be like that on Nitis. The humans on Earth would probably struggle to accept his new intensity, but it was too late now. He already felt like an alien among his species, so he didn't care about the possible problems that his changes could cause.
There was something else among that mess of emotions. Khan didn't forget about the mindless and almost instinctive mental state he had reached during the battle. Everything had felt simpler among the chaotic discharges of mana. He had flowed and fought like never before, and part of him desired to experience that again.
The long day ended as Khan remained immersed in his thought and made sure to cuddle Liiza whenever she went through bad dreams. Soon, only the worries about his friends stayed in his mind. He had yet to understand how many had died on the battlefield, and he hoped with everything he had that none of his close friends had fallen.
His worries didn't make him interrupt Liiza's sleep, but loud voices eventually reached his tent and woke her up. The couple exchanged a long and sweet kiss before standing up and leaving the habitation to check what was happening in the camp.
"I saw her in a daze!" Lieutenant Kintea's voice resounded throughout the camp and led the couple to a small gathering in a relatively empty spot among the tents.
Khan and Liiza could soon inspect the situation. Lieutenant Kintea and two soldiers stood in front of Zalpa, who limited herself to examine them with her cold eyes. A few familiar figures sat around them, and their faces appeared quite serious. They almost failed to notice the arrival of the couple due to their interest in the conversation.
Other Niqols and humans came out of the tents and reached that small gathering. Khan and Liiza could finally gain an idea of who had survived the battle in the valley, and the situation was grim for both species.
The human side had Lieutenant Kintea, the two soldiers, George, Paul, and Kelly. They all appeared in a decent state, but that felt almost normal after spending an entire day resting under Zalpa's care.
The Niqols' side had a few adult aliens, Ilman, Azni, Asyat, Doku, Havaa, and other students with whom Khan had never bonded too tightly. They were also relatively fine. Even Asyat's leg had grown back, but the girl didn't appear too excited about it, and Khan could understand why after witnessing the painful healing process.
"[Where is everyone else]?" Khan asked as he tried to inspect the insides of the tents nearby through his sensitivity to mana.
"[This is everyone]," Doku revealed before moving his gaze on the ground.
Khan's eyes widened in surprise. The group didn't even reach twenty-five members. It also lacked many faces that he had grown used to having around. Helen, Veronica, Brandon, Zeliha, and many who had traveled with him during the last period didn't make it out of the valley.
The army initially counted one hundred troops, but the battle and the sudden arrival of the two packs had killed more than three-quarters of them. The situation was so poor that Khan struggled to feel glad about the survival of his closest friends.
The event had been rather lucky. Ilman, Doku, and George had relied on their experience and abilities to survive the battle and help those around them. Azni had accompanied Asyat back to the camp, so she could avoid facing the two packs. Also, the monsters had focused on the stronger troops during the sudden attack, so those students had managed to avoid ending up in a deadly situation.
That lucky turn of events didn't change the nature of the situation. Too few had survived, and the battlefield had even broken the spirits of many of them. The army was no more. Their group was no more than a team full of people who didn't want to fight anymore.
"Khan, this isn't the time for that," Lieutenant Kintea scolded before pointing at Zalpa. "I saw Captain Erbair falling into a daze after Ambassador Yeza's ability. She must have done it on purpose to weaken our side!"
"Yeza just saved our lives," Khan commented. "Are you sure you want to bring this up now?"
"I can't remain alongside aliens ready to sacrifice our leader for petty political strategies," Lieutenant Kintea snorted. "How do you expect us to follow orders now?"
"Do you think I care about how you feel?" Zalpa asked in her bad accent.
"Your leader killed Captain Erbair on purpose!" The woman next to Lieutenant Kintea shouted. "This betrays everything we have built in the past years!"
"Politics," Zalpa snorted. "You don't know if you'll survive the light, but you worry about politics."
The survivors had been too focused on their escape to inspect their surroundings. Only Lieutenant Kintea had seen that Captain Erbair had become unresponsive after Yeza unleashed her ability. He knew that his words had little value since he lacked proof. Yet, he wanted to gain something out of what he had witnessed, but Zalpa was a wall that his threats couldn't pierce.
"This is useless," Khan sighed while bringing Liiza closer to his chest. "[Zalpa, what do we do now]?"
"I'm still your superior!" Lieutenant Kintea complained, but Khan ignored him as he approached his friends and sat among them.
"[We can't do much]," Zalpa revealed. "[Returning to the castle might be our best option]."
"[Won't that make all of this pointless]?" Azni asked while sitting closer to Liiza to envelop her in a hug.
"[It's better than trying to seize an area filled with monsters with nothing but kids and idiots]," Zalpa declared, but she soon voiced a weak "[sorry]" when she understood that she had gone too far.
"You even plan to retreat now," Lieutenant Kintea exclaimed in disbelief. "You didn't join the battle, so why would you be in charge now?"
"You should consider shutting your mouth," Zalpa threatened.
"Why is that?" Lieutenant Kintea asked. "Will you kill me too?"
"You have insulted Yeza in front of her daughter," Zalpa explained.
Lieutenant Kintea wanted to say something, but he couldn't find good words when everyone glared at him. Even the humans around him didn't seem to agree with his approach. Only the female soldier next to him appeared willing to support his argument, but that felt pointless right now.
Khan honestly didn't care whether Lieutenant Kintea was telling the truth. He only wanted the shouts to end. The situation was too grim, and that behavior worsened it.
"[What happens after we return to the castle]?" Khan questioned.
"[We wait to receive further orders]," Zalpa replied.
"That's it?" Lieutenant Kintea scoffed. "Your plan is to wait for everything to end?"
Zalpa was about to lose her cool, but a peculiar sight suddenly filled her vision. The event was impossible to miss and soon made everyone gaze at the sky.
A wave of darkness moved through the sky and left behind dark shades that the Niqols knew far too well. The sunlight seemed to retreat in front of the shadows that took control of the world. It didn't take much before Nitis' iconic night swept away the day.
The darkness finally returned. Tears fell from the Niqols' eyes as they stared at the familiar black sky. Only Liiza remained almost expressionless since she had cried too much the previous day. Also, an idea was taking form in her mind as Nitis regained its natural colors.
Khan couldn't help but smile at that nostalgic sight, but pure happiness soon diverted his attention elsewhere. Foreign emotions spread inside his mind when the sunlight disappeared. He sensed Snow calling for him, and he didn't hesitate to summon it in the area.
The other Niqols experienced the same happiness when they reestablished the connection with their Aduns. Those creatures were a big part of the aliens' lives, so regaining access to their minds brought some consolation to their poor mental state.
Only Liiza couldn't experience that feeling, but her idea allowed her to avoid thinking about Zama. She even voiced her plan while her companions remained astonished. "[We should fly to the elders]."
The sudden announcement made everyone divert their attention from the sky. Both Niqols and humans turned toward Liiza in a desperate attempt to add more details to her proposal.
"[That makes sense]," Zalpa announced, "[But I can't leave you alone in the wild. You might face a flock of monsters, and moving as a group will only make you flashier]."
"[I can go]," Liiza explained. "[That's my tribe's role in the end]."
"[How do you plan on reaching them without Zama]?" Zalpa asked, but she regretted voicing that question when Liiza laid her head on Khan's shoulder.
****
Author's notes: This chapter fills yesterday's release, but I'll take a break today since I don't have time to write everything I failed to complete. I'd rather rest than force myself back into the cycle of sleeping every two days. I don't want to burn myself, and I need to preserve the story's quality, so I will slow down today to restore my schedule. Chapters will go back to normal in 26 hours.
