When I walked back home, I found my daughter already at home, miraculously without Anna or Elisa, who are always sticking to her a lot. She was boiling water to make tea while I had yet to get home. Her spring break also began today so she came back home earlier than usual. She seemed slightly annoyed as well despite her being quite calm… I felt a bit afraid to ask, but I mustered the courage.
"Hello dear, is there something troubling you?" I wondered, as I was multi-tasking by taking out ingredients from the fridge to make something for dinner.
"W-Well, I don't think you'll understand…" She sighed.
"Huh? Come on, I am your mother, tell me." I said.
"Hmm… I just don't want to go to the countryside…" She sighed.
"Eh?! B-But we have to! They're your grandparents, Elena…" I sighed. "Don't you remember them? It has been a year and a half since we went there, they miss you."
"Ugh, but there's barely any good internet all the way there!" She sighed.
"Eh? No way, the countryside has fine internet, I remember that I had it when I was a kid and watched Youtube videos." I said pridefully.
"They have but its garbage compared to the one in the big city… Brand New Life Online needs a lot of internet connection to get inside the servers… A bit won't do." She said. "If I go, I'll have to not play the game, which seems hellish."
"T-There's also a lot of offline games that you can play using the VR headset, dear…" I sighed.
"But that's boring, they're all lame… Also I am already getting closer to the area I wanted to visit in the game…" She sighed. "I might get there in a couple of days, at least can we wait for later?"
"Sorry but it's already decided… We are going Sunday in the morning, you got the entire end of the week to do what you want to do. We'll come back home in Thursday in the morning." I said to my daughter, her face was getting grimmer.
"U-ugh… the entire week wasted." She sighed.
"Elena, are you telling me you prefer to play the game than to go meet your family? Your grandma and grandfather loves you very much, you know? They're family and are important, more than a game… If you want, you can even bring Anna and Elisa, I'll bring Mark…"
"Eh?! You're bringing Mark?! He doesn't have anything to do here!" My daughter angrily said.
Yes, I expected her to respond in this way… But she's often very silent, so it surprised me she screamed a lot… I am a bit afraid to provoke her further, but… as a mother, I cannot let my daughter raise her voice against me like this. Maybe I have never earned respect from my daughter but… not even strangers treat me like this.
"Sorry dear but don't raise your voice against me…" I sighed. "Mark has been a good friend of mine ever since I've started working… He's always there for me helping me recover. He's a nice and decent man, and he's very gentle as well… He's genuinely a good person, and that's a very rare thing to find nowadays…"
"You love him?" Wondered my daughter.
"L-Love?!" I asked in shock. "T-That's not it…! He's my friend, only my friend! I don't… I don't love him. I don't know if I can even love anybody. Even less be loved either."
"…" My daughter looked at me as she was making a rather bitter expression in her face. But then, she calmed down, and sighed.
"Okay…" She sighed. "I can understand it now. If you're even talking about him in such a way, it is quite obvious he's good… I… Well, you can do whatever you want."
"Elena… Thanks… And… sorry. I realized too late what I did. I knew you would get angry. I am the one to blame here… I never think things through. I never… plan things well. I am… I am so useless… I always ruin everything and make you feel angered and sad… Sorry… Please forgive me…"
Without even realizing it, I started to cry like a little girl. I felt embarrassed and stupid, but I felt very bad for having my daughter go through such embarrassment for my own stupidity. I've always been such a useless person… I've always been a good for nothing… I am garbage.
"W-Wait, don't cry now…!" My daughter ran to my side and hugged me. "Please… stop. I-I am sorry as well… I shouldn't had screamed to you…"
"Eh?"
"Y-You're not useless, mom… Without you I don't even know what I would do, or where I would even be…" My daughter said. "S-So don't cry, alright? It makes me feel so bad… I… I have my own personal problems as well. I am bad at communicating and… sometimes I cannot express myself… well."
"Elena…"
"With Anna and Elisa I've… been learning slowly about myself too… They're… great friends that have helped me… realize what I do wrong or not. Sorry… I should be the one… that should say that." She said.
"M-My little baby!"
I ended crying even more loudly as I hugged my daughter with all my strength, kissing her face and rubbing my face over her own.
"Of course, it is all right! Mommy loves you a lot, you know? You don't have to feel sad… I'm alright… S-Sorry for being so depressive…"
"I-It's okay… I… Ugh, this is embarrassing now… But I'll bring Anna and Elisa with me… Is it okay?"
"Yes, it is alright… But still, I am sorry for being such a crybaby… I've never truly stopped being how I used to be… Maybe that's why I am such a terrible mother."
"You're not terrible… You've done… what you could. Nobody's perfect."
"Elena… you've matured so much… I wouldn't had believed you saying that some year ago…"
"Well, I've grown on my own as well, mom… But I also am… at fault of a lot of things."
"I see… Well, let's have fun in the countryside, okay? For now you can relax, I'll make you something yummy for dinner!"
"Hah… Okay."
Elena smiled sweetly back at me, as she gave me a little kiss in my cheek, my heart instantly melted…
