Lee Hyung-Jin's songs had a lonely autumn scent to them.
People expected the sadness in his voice to have decreased, but the atmosphere he exuded was the same as before. He was still drenched in sorrow and was struggling like a bird on a lake, unable to fly because of an oil spill.
When he sang, people could understand the meaning behind the lyrics and naturally mirrored the emotions the singer expressed in rhythm. Lee Hyung-Jin had written and composed the songs himself, so his sentiments were infused into every aspect of the music, which in consequence, shook the listeners’ hearts profoundly.
And now, nobody jeered or threw trash at him anymore. People also stopped whispering to each other and gossiping while Lee Hyung-Jin performed. Instead, everyone quietly listened to the melody he cried.
Lee Hyung-Jin hadn’t changed at all; the people who attended his gigs had a change of heart. Each of his little actions resounded in their souls. Some people even tried to help Lee Hyung-Jin pack up when his gig ended.
However, Lee Hyung-Jin refused their help with a smile. It was an uncomfortable smile drawn with confusion and awkwardness.
Woo-Jin was standing at the very back of the crowded audience for the sake of the performer, and only now did he start advancing towards Lee Hyung-Jin.
That was when people noticed him and realized that Chae Woo-Jin had come to the gig today. Many hadn’t thought of keeping an eye on their surroundings since the actor hadn’t visited in a long while. But that only showed how captivated they were by Lee Hyung-Jin’s singing with no leeway to pay attention to the people around them.
“I’ll help you.”
Since he had helped out before, Woo-Jin started packing up the sound equipment without hesitation.
“It’s been a while.”
Lee Hyung-Jin glanced at Woo-Jin and didn’t refuse his help. Instead, he actively greeted him in a friendly manner. His smile was much more relaxed, unlike his previous awkward expression around others.
“I’ve been very busy recently. By the way, I came here with a camera filming me, but is that okay with you?” Woo-Jin asked.
Lee Hyung-Jin flinched at the word ‘camera.’ Even though he was always confident in himself and enjoyed standing before cameras more than anyone else, he now couldn’t hide how his fingers trembled in the presence of one.
Seeing Lee Hyung-Jin’s trembling eyes and how he was unable to respond, Woo-Jin casually told him.
“They’re here to film me and not you, hyung.”
“I know. I watched the show,” Lee Hyung-Jin answered.
It wasn’t as though he didn’t watch any TV at all. However, he rarely watched the news or entertainment-related broadcasts. As he was so disconnected from the world and didn’t have access to public information, Lee Hyung-Jin was unaware of how the public’s opinion of him had changed for a long while.
But one day, far more people than usual suddenly attended his gig, and reporters came looking for him. Lee Hyung-Jin was wary of them and had his guard up, wondering how they were planning on ruining his life this time. But the words that left their mouths shocked him.
So for the first time in forever, he watched the news and looked for articles online and finally learned what had happened in the outside world that he had been neglecting.
The suspicions that began with Chae Woo-Jin’s actions, the allegations of a corrupt prosecutor, and the stories of TM’s CEO Kim Seok-Hyung with the reporters who were working with him.
Lee Hyung-Jin had known the source of the lies surrounding him, but only now did he realize that he knew only half of the true story all this time.
CEO Kim Seok-Hyung’s story was something he couldn’t have imagined even in his wildest dreams. Thus, it was that much more shocking and terrified Lee Hyung-Jin even further.
But it was true that he now had more courage to face the world he had been neglecting so far. Despite his struggles and fears, Lee Hyung-Jin hadn’t completely despaired yet.
As he gradually became more interested in the entertainment world, he started watching Life Depicted, which starred Woo-Jin.
No matter how the broadcasting company portrayed the show, it was still a show about successful people. They must’ve had their fair share of hardships and struggles, but the lives of successful actors were the target of envy of the general public and those who dreamed of going down the same path.
In fact, Lee Hyung-Jin also got extremely jealous of the cast members. However, he could only hold his breath and stare in awe as he watched those actors’ daily lives.
It would be a lie to say that he didn’t project himself onto the actors on the small screen, who were constantly and fiercely chasing their dreams with enthusiasm, living life dynamically.
It was nothing to be ashamed of or to reflect on. Lee Hyung-Jin was simply envious of their lives and wanted the same for himself.
He had the same 24 hours in a day just like them. However, he didn’t treat those 24 hours as preciously as them since it would simply repeat itself every day, forever.
Success wasn’t why these people shone so brightly every second, every minute, every hour of their lives. He could tell by watching the show. Woo-Jin and the cast members weren’t headed towards success but were walking down the path to happiness.
They knew what they wanted and how to become happy. Their earnestness and fierceness as they faced the world made the viewers’ hearts pound.
That was what Lee Hyung-Jin was most jealous about. He felt nervous as the backs of the people running towards their happiness seemed so out of reach and only seemed to get further and further away from him.
“But who’s that person acting all silly and taking pictures of… Oh, I see.”
Lee Hyung-Jin discovered Hyun-Min in the distance, making all kinds of poses and standing in weird positions to take photos of Woo-Jin. The singer then nodded as he recognized the face of Woo-Jin’s friend from the show.
“He’s your friend.”
Friends… Lee Hyung-Jin had no one left to call that. Well, to be more precise, he had started receiving messages and calls from those he had considered his friends long ago, but Lee Hyung-Jin was ignoring them all.
“A lot’s been going on in my life today,” Woo-Jin said with a sigh.
Woo-Jin was dragged outside by Hyun-Min early in the morning to take photos. Then, he had to wear a bear mask and sell soap bars in the afternoon. When he finally had some room to breathe and wondered where they should go, this was where they ended up coming.
Hyun-Min was the first one to bring up the topic.
‘You haven’t been going to Lee Hyung-Jin’s gigs recently, right?’
‘More like I couldn’t go.’
As he had mentioned in the past, Woo-Jin didn’t want to overshadow Lee Hyung-Jin when the latter was trying to make his way back into the entertainment world. He wanted Lee Hyung-Jin to shine on his own as a singer with his own identity.
‘I get you, but if I were Lee Hyung-Jin, I’d be feeling really lonely these days,’ Hyun-Min said.
Woo-Jin raised his eyebrows with a puzzled look. Now that the truth was revealed, Lee Hyung-Jin’s fans were slowly returning, and the people in Lee Hyung-Jin’s life who had misunderstood him were now reaching out to him again. Although it could be tiresome, Woo-Jin didn’t think he’d be lonely.
‘You know what they say. It’s easy to cry with someone during sad times, but a true friend will laugh by your side when you’re happy. However, from a different perspective, many friends will stand by your side when you’re successful, but when you fail and hit rock bottom, how many people will stay with you until the end?’
Feeling sad or happy for someone else was simply an emotional exchange.
Thus, it didn’t harm or benefit the friends who were reacting to someone’s emotional state, though it might drain them emotionally or mentally. So there was no reason for one’s friends to change just because of their emotional state. All it did was bring each other closer or push each other apart through emotional connection and communication.
However, when it came to successes or failures in life, friends often approached the successful person and disappeared from the lives of a ‘failure.’ Being next to someone who had hit rock bottom was much harder to do than sincerely congratulating someone for their happiness.
‘Personally, I wouldn’t be happy even if someone who had abandoned me returned now. I’d just be afraid and find it pointless,’ Hyun-Min said.
‘Sure, that makes sense. So why would I be any different for Hyung-Jin hyung?’
‘Of course, you’re different. You’re his fan. A true fan who set an example and gave him strength during his darkest days. Nothing is more empowering and encouraging to a celebrity than a fan who doesn’t forget and comes to visit him. Shouldn’t you know this better than anyone else?’
Woo-Jin could only nod at Hyun-Min’s question. Fans were existences that gave him strength in a different manner from family and friends.
Fans were people who could constantly love him and trust him, but they could also turn their backs on him at any time. So he was grateful towards them and cared about them, but was also afraid.
‘Do you think he’ll be okay with me?’
‘Why wouldn’t he be? You never left him in the first place.’ Hyung-Min answered.
There was no reason for Lee Hyung-Jin to feel betrayed by Woo-Jin or feel empty about the latter’s advances. In fact, it was more likely that he’d feel closer and more comfortable with Woo-Jin than any other friend who suddenly contacted him again just because his circumstances had changed.
‘Do you know how many reporters and broadcasters are trying to interview and cover Lee Hyung-Jin these days? Apparently, he refused them all. He has suffered so much from them that he’s more afraid than happy to be the center of attention again. But at some point, Lee Hyung-Jin will have to show his face to the media once more. Only then will it truly be a new beginning for him.’
Thus, Hyun-Min advised Woo-Jin to bring along the Life Depicted crew and have Lee Hyung-Jin get used to them and gradually appear on TV again.
‘I totally agree with Mr. Hyun-Min’s opinion.’
The director of the show—who had been quietly listening to them—raised a hand and supported Hyun-Min’s argument.
When Woo-Jin gave a sidelong scowl, the director felt awkward but still shamelessly stated that they could edit Lee Hyung-Jin out of the show if the latter wished for it.
The director also defended that it wouldn’t be a bad plan for Lee Hyung-Jin to slowly get used to being on TV as a cameo appearance rather than as the main character.
That was how Woo-Jin ended up boldly visiting Lee Hyung-Jin with a bunch of staff and crew members hanging out behind him.
“Buy me dinner. I’m feeling hungry.”
After they finished putting away the equipment, Lee Hyung-Jin spoke to Woo-Jin after glancing at the cameras around them. He was a bit afraid of being filmed for the first time in a while, but fortunately, Hyung-Jin quite liked the Life Depicted show.
The show was edited simply and plainly without any manipulations that could cause misunderstandings. Thus, he could accept their presence with no skepticism. He also didn’t mind Woo-Jin’s friend taking pictures on the side while striking various poses, trying to look cool.
Most of all, Lee Hyung-Jin missed talking to people and desperately wanted to chat with someone.
***
“You should’ve chosen something more expensive to eat if you were going to ask him to pay. Are you really fine with ox bone soup[1]?” Hyun-Min asked.
Lee Hyung-Jin had chosen to have ox bone soup for dinner. Hyun-Min grumbled and complained that Woo-Jin’s wallet would’ve been fine with buying much more expensive meals instead.
Hyun-Min quieted down only after Woo-Jin ordered extra beef slices after flipping through the menu.
“It’s getting colder these days, so I wanted to eat some warm soup.”
The weather in early November was still warm, and the wind blew gently. But for some reason, Lee Hyung-Jin felt cold, and his body shivered in the piercing winds.
The moment he took a sip of the warm broth, the gentle heat that spread throughout his body could not have felt any better.
“It’s only going to get colder from now on. Will you keep doing outdoor performances?”
“I’m not sure. I do want to play on a small stage indoors, but….”
Lee Hyung-Jin had started his outdoor gigs because he wanted to make someone listen to his songs.
With the rate he was going, he thought he would die alone in his small room, drunk on alcohol. So his first thought was to get outside and communicate with people. But every step he took outside was so painful and straining to the extent that he started sympathizing with the Little Mermaid.
Even if the misunderstandings and accusations that caged him were now destroyed, Lee Hyung-Jin was still terrified and anxious. Although he wanted to take on new challenges, the pressure was holding him back.
“I don’t even have the money to rent an indoor hall, and even if I did manage to find one, I wonder who’d actually buy the tickets. That’s why I’ve been hesitating.”
These days, Lee Hyung-Jin was having a hard time paying his rent in the first place. He had been active and popular as a celebrity for barely a few months back in the day.
He was somehow able to get by with the money he had made back then, but nowadays, his bank account was hitting rock bottom, and he was about to go in the red.
He was too ashamed to ask his parents for money, so Lee Hyung-Jin was troubled about how he should make money from here on out.
Therefore, he didn’t even dare attempt to rent a music hall. Not only was the money a problem, but he also had low self-confidence and worried too much about how he’d sell tickets.
Moreover, he could somehow bring and organize the sound equipment by himself for street performances, but the same couldn’t be said for paid concerts. With no staff members or practice sessions, he couldn’t even think of renting a place.
“I don’t think you’d need to worry about the ticket sales. It was my first time listening to hyungnim’s performance today, and I immediately became your fan.”
The cheeky Hyun-Min boldly called Lee Hyung-Jin ‘hyungnim.’
“When Woo-Jin said he was your fan, I didn’t really care much about it back then. To be honest, even though we’re very good friends, we have very different tastes in music. But now I see what he meant.”
Woo-Jin wasn’t particularly offended by Hyun-Min’s confession as he already knew about it. But somehow, both Woo-Jin and Hyun-Min were completely engrossed in Lee Hyung-Jin’s voice and songs. It seemed that they did share the same music tastes sometimes.
Since there was no reason for him to complain and bicker, Woo-Jin simply nodded at Hyun-Min’s words.
1. Ox bone soup (설렁탕-Seolleongtang) is a Korean soup that uses a broth made from ox bones with some slices of beef and spring onions, and garlic generally. ☜
