Pay attention to the people around you.
It's easier said than done.
How can one possibly know every thought between individuals?
One person might hide their feelings, while the other might not be perceptive.
So no matter how much you pay attention, the information you can grasp is limited.
"Rudy?"
But when someone says this to me, especially those I've been with for a long time, it means they've seen something I haven't.
Paying attention means noticing things.
Things I never considered before.
What could that be?
I always thought I was quite observant.
But were there things I missed?
"Rudy!"
"Huh?"
Suddenly, I saw Luna standing before me.
"Rudy, are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah..."
I nodded in response to Luna's question.
"If you're not feeling well, should we continue this later? You seem distracted."
"No, let's keep going. I'll focus. Sorry."
Luna looked intently at me, then turned her gaze to Ena and Yuni sitting in front of us.
"Let's stop here for today. Just check the parts I mentioned. Let me know if you need anything else."
"Huh? Now...Wait!"
As Yuni tried to argue with Luna's statement, Ena covered her mouth.
"Alright! We can do it later. We should get going."
"Uh...?"
I stared at Ena as she abruptly left the room.
Watching her leave, I shifted my gaze to Luna.
"Uh, yes?"
When I stared intently at Luna, she looked away, seemingly flustered.
I broke the silence.
"Luna, shall we go for a walk?"
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64ce79d606107d003c23ea27", id: "pf-5140-1"})Luna said, slightly pushing her hair behind her ear.
While listening to her, my mind wandered to another thought.
People around me.
The ones I consider close are only people like Luna, Rie, and Astina, who have been with me from the beginning.
Of course, there were a few people I got to know recently through student council activities, but Astina knows nothing about them.
Also, the ones Robert recognizes as my acquaintances are limited to just a few.
I recalled the situation earlier.
The moment when Robert spoke to me while looking at Luna.
Did his gaze on Luna mean something?
I turned my head and looked at Luna.
Luna, holding a book delicately in her hands, looked back as if asking what was on my mind.
I saw Luna in detail.
The timid Luna, always giving her best in everything she did.
Beyond that image of Luna, I saw her - just as she is.
Brown hair, flawless skin.
A naive face with a gentle smile.
Her feminine grace was evident.
Details I noticed when we first met, but overlooked as we grew close, were now clear to me.
"Luna."
I spoke softly.
"What's your ideal type of person?"
"...Huh?"
My question was filled with more than just pure curiosity.
The conclusion I'd reached.
This conclusion might just be my misunderstanding.
I might have jumped to a bizarre deduction.
But I was merely entertaining the thought.
Remarks from Astina and Robert.
The peculiar behavior of Ena and Riku.
I considered it just an ordinary speculation any man might have.
'Could she like me?'
Isn't such a thought normal?
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64cc9e79c7059f003e4ad4b0", id: "pf-5109-1"})It might have been an excuse or truly my genuine feelings.
Confronted by my sudden question, Luna pondered deeply.
"Um, ideal type is..."
Seeing her think so earnestly, I began to feel a bit embarrassed.
Was I too arrogant?
Hadn't Robert just pointed out my arrogant behavior earlier?
I wondered if my question was too presumptuous.
Then Luna softly spoke,
"Someone kind... who only looks at me... and is admirable when it matters?"
I let out an awkward laugh at her words.
"Is that so... Pretty ordinary, huh?"
While responding, I wondered if I fit her description.
If asked if I've lived kindly, I'd say I was average.
Currently, I was plotting against Professor Gracie and scheming to use others, hardly the deeds of a kind person.
However, I always tried to save people, so maybe I was a bit kind.
Next, someone who looks only at her.
I never lived life fixated on someone else.
If I were to focus on just one person, it would be myself.
After all, every incident I've caused was an act to ensure my own survival.
Moreover, being kind and loyal is a universally desired trait.
But 'someone who is admirable when it matters' isn't that common.
I had something to say about that.
Nevertheless, didn't I show up when it mattered?
But... that very assertion had its issues.
To get a clearer picture, I posed another question.
"Then, at the academy... who comes closest to your ideal?"
"Huh?"
I barely held back an embarrassed grin.
It was an odd question, the type you'd ask just before confessing feelings.
Luna's face began to turn red, seemingly understanding the implication of my question.
Luna and I turned our heads away from each other.
Why did I say that?
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "663633fa8ebf7442f0652b33", id: "pf-8817-1"})What if this makes things awkward between Luna and me?
Whether Luna liked me or not, it was a problem either way.
I tilted my head, feeling dejected.
Recently, my mind's been flooded with so many thoughts that I asked without thinking.
But after saying it, I immediately regretted it.
I sneakily glanced at Luna.
She turned away, her ears slightly red.
Seeing her ears, I could guess the shade of her face.
"Um... well..."
Luna hesitated, probably wondering how to respond.
It felt like a Pandora's box that shouldn't be opened.
Nevertheless, I stared intently at Luna.
Slowly, Luna began to lift her head and looked up at me.
Her cheeks were pleasantly flushed.
"In the academy... my ideal type is... probably... Rudy."
She said.
Silence.
The world seemed to stop.
No.
Everything around me seemed frozen, but my heart raced incredibly fast.
What just happened...
It was a feeling I'd never experienced before, a whirlwind of emotions.
"Ah... I see... uh..."
Dumbfounded, I just stared at Luna, unsure of what to say.
Seeing my silence, Luna, flustered, began to wave her hands.
"Rudy as my ideal... type? Uh... How should I put this... It's not that I dislike Rudy, but... um...?"
However, her reaction only confirmed my beliefs.
All the actions Luna had taken up till now started to make sense, fitting together like pieces of a puzzle.
I pondered.
What should I do now?
I questioned myself.
Do I like Luna?
I had never considered the idea of dating those around me.
I hadn’t even imagined it.
I was always preoccupied with the thought of survival.
A situation where one misstep could lead me off a cliff.
Of course, I sought fleeting pleasures, but I never aimed for true happiness.
If I could just survive, I thought that was enough...
"Luna."
At my words, Luna jolted, startled.
“Ah... um...”
Luna hid slightly behind her book, her face turning red.
To anyone's eyes, she was an adorable girl.
No man could possibly resist her.
But that very fact made it impossible for me to speak.
I couldn't tell her that I liked her.
So many events awaited me.
The risk of losing my life, of everything collapsing around me.
I couldn’t promise her everything.
Also, I needed time to think.
I couldn't answer Luna based on a fleeting emotion.
I couldn't pursue a relationship with her here.
Not just because of Luna as a woman, but because I valued Luna as a person too dearly.
I carefully began,
“Can we revisit this conversation later, much later?”
“Later?”
Luna looked straight at me, hiding her lips behind the book.
“Yes, later. Can you wait until then?”
For a moment, Luna stared blankly, then her face flushed deeply as she nodded.
“I’d, I’d like it if our talk then could be more... positive...”
“Oh, oh... Yes, yes...”
Her words took me by surprise.
It was surprising to hear Luna say something like that.
“Well, then... later!”
With that, Luna started to run off.
I watched her retreating figure.
Luna sprinted ahead.
She ran without a clear destination in mind.
"Ugh... ah..."
She'd said it.
Luna felt a mix of embarrassment and shame.
How could she have so openly implied that her ideal type was Rudy?
And then even mention Rudy’s name after that?
It wasn't the feminine charm that Ena had talked about that she had shown, but rather a foolishness that made her cheeks burn with embarrassment.
"Ah, but..."
Luna began to slow down until she eventually stopped.
She squatted down on the spot and covered her face.
"Ughh..."
Luna let out a strange sound, neither crying nor laughing.
Surely, surely, surely Rudy had recognized her feelings.
If he hadn't, he'd be a fool, an idiot, a total blockhead.
But Rudy wasn't at that level.
The fact he had suggested discussing it again later made it clear he had noticed.
But, more than that, Luna had a question.
How did he suddenly find out about her feelings?
However, what Luna had overlooked was:
The only one who hadn't noticed Luna's feelings was Rudy.
She had made it too obvious, anyone observing for a short while could tell.
Given that Rudy had received hints from others, it was only natural he'd figure it out.
Luna, of course, had no knowledge of this.
Most who knew the situation didn't tell Luna.
Only Ena had told Luna directly.
Ena claimed to be a love expert, so Luna assumed Ena was just perceptive enough to have caught on.
Pushing all these stray thoughts aside, Luna focused on one thing.
"When, when will it be..."
Could she expect a positive response?
Or, was it right to even have this conversation now?
These thoughts danced back and forth in Luna’s mind.
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