Ever since I was young, I excelled academically.
People around me called me a genius, and I even won various competitions.
However, this was only true during my childhood.
As I entered middle school and high school, I realized I was nothing more than ordinary.
Yet, I couldn't just stand still and accept it.
I believed that even without innate talent, through sheer effort, I could surpass those who had it.
If I put in multiple times the effort as someone talented, surely I could outshine them.
Otherwise, wouldn't it be too unfair?
However, contrary to my naive expectations, the world proved to be unfair.
Despite my efforts, I failed.
No matter how painfully hard I tried, I couldn't achieve my goals.
I was broken.
"Hey! You made it to Korean University Law School! Congratulations!”
"...Huh?"
I snapped back to reality.
Where am I?
Just moments ago, I was with Luna, facing off against Jefrin.
I looked around.
The bustling environment, several tables, and a glass with a green bottle of alcohol in front of me.
A familiar sight.
It's been a while...
This was a Korean bar.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
I looked up.
Sitting across from me was a friend I'd hung out with often.
Although I was busy studying every day, whenever he called, I'd come out for a drink.
This very pub...
It was where we met after I received my LEET* scores.
I had bombed the test and drowned my sorrows in alcohol, weeping bitterly.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
But now...
"…You're saying my scores qualify for Korea University's Law School?"
I was bewildered.
Korea University is the top institution in our country.
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64ce79d606107d003c23ea27", id: "pf-5140-1"})Just moments ago, I was focused on my life at the academy...
Noticing my confusion, my friend frowned.
"Are you drunk?"
Was everything I experienced just a dream?
Am I drunk?
I glanced at the bottle in front of me.
It was freshly opened, with only a small amount consumed.
The glass in front of me was filled with soju.
I hesitantly took a sip.
If this is a dream, it wouldn't have a taste, but...
"Ugh..."
"What's wrong?"
As always, the taste of soju was repulsive.
Its distinctive alcohol scent lingered around my lips.
Was this not a dream?
I hastily grabbed a spoon and dove into the side dish, shoveling it into my mouth.
The pot in front of me.
Its spicy, tangy red broth.
The taste tingled on my lips.
"Pork kimchi stew?"
"Oh... oh, oh, oh..."
Regardless of my current situation, one thing was clear.
This spicy, savory sensation...
Ah, this is definitely pork kimchi stew.
"Ma'am! One bowl of rice, please!"
"Alright~!"
As I frantically started eating, the friend sitting opposite me looked at me in disbelief.
"Have you lost your mind...?"
Whether this current situation was a dream or everything before it was, it didn't matter.
All I was grateful for was the white rice and pork kimchi stew in front of me.
The next day.
"Ah... my head..."
I groggily sat up.
My head ached, a clear sign of a hangover.
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "64cc9e79c7059f003e4ad4b0", id: "pf-5109-1"})Yesterday, after having kimchi stew, I ordered various other dishes like spicy pork stir-fry, boneless chicken feet, and fried chicken gizzards.
It was inevitable that alcohol accompanied the meal.
The first sip of soju was harsh, but as I drank more, its taste became unnoticeable.
It reached a point where I couldn't tell whether the alcohol was consuming me or I was consuming it.
Sitting up, I blankly stared ahead, mulling over the memories still sharp in my mind.
"What was all that about?"
I recalled my poor performance on the exam and how, despite applying to several places, I faced rejection at every turn.
And so, to escape, I immersed myself in a game.
Sure, there are games where talent matters, but I never played those.
I preferred games where consistent effort, rather than innate skill, determined the outcome.
One such game was 'The Academy's Top Wizard', which I played obsessively, especially after my exam results.
Playing it allowed me to forget the real world.
Lost in the game one moment, the next, I found myself inside it, with no warning whatsoever.
From then on, I encountered various characters and experienced countless events.
"I remember everything that followed, but why can't I remember what happened before?"
And which reality was true?
Was I Rudy Astria or was the person here, now, the real me?
These thoughts swirled in my mind, reminiscent of the philosophical musings of Zhuangzi’s butterfly dream*.
Just then, a vibration interrupted my thoughts.
My phone was ringing.
I reached for it.
Despite it being familiar, it felt oddly alien in my hand.
The caller ID displayed 'Elder Uncle'.
"...Hello?"
"...Yes?"
"Yes?"
"Oh... I'll, I'll be right there!"
I dashed to the bathroom.
Today was my cousin's wedding.
Having lost my parents at age seven, I was raised by my uncle.
While all my other relatives turned their backs on me, my uncle had always been there.
His daughter, who was like a real sister to me, was getting married, and I was running late.
Quickly, I washed my hair, threw on the suit I wore for interviews, hastily tied a necktie, and bolted out the door.
"Damn fool..."
window.pubfuturetag = window.pubfuturetag || [];window.pubfuturetag.push({unit: "663633fa8ebf7442f0652b33", id: "pf-8817-1"})A resurfacing memory reminded me how, after failing the exam and drowning my sorrows in alcohol, I had once missed my close cousin's wedding due to a hangover.
I was such an idiot then.
But now, there was no reason.
At least back then, there was the sorrow of failure.
Now, I had just carelessly drunk and passed out.
I hurriedly ran out.
I had no time to discern whether this was reality or a dream.
“Which bus should I take…?”
Rapidly, I searched for the route on my phone's map app as I ran.
While I was doing so...
“Huh...?”
Suddenly, a light descended from the sky.
It resembled the light that would emanate when UFOs abducted people, or when angels descended from heaven.
Amidst that light, a figure began to descend.
A figure plummeting while lying down.
With red hair…
“Astina...?”
Even as Astina descended from the sky, the people around seemed oblivious.
Once Astina touched the ground, the light vanished.
“Oh, who's that?”
Only after the light disappeared did the crowd start noticing Astina.
I stood still, staring blankly at Astina.
“Uh…”
Slowly, Astina tried to stand, clutching her head as if experiencing a headache.
She then glanced around.
Her eyes widened in shock.
She looked like someone who had just arrived from another world.
“Where... am I?”
Seeing the usually composed Astina looking so bewildered made me chuckle.
And then, realization dawned upon me.
This is a dream.
It's not where I was before.
All the muddled thoughts started to clear up.
Smiling, I called out to her.
"Astina?"
Astina turned to look at me.
Recognizing my voice, Astina's face lit up momentarily, but her expression soon stiffened.
“Who are you?”
I reached out my hand.
“Get up, senior.”
“Rudy...?”
"That's right."
Astina took my hand and stood up.
“What's going on? And why do you look...?”
I gave her a wry smile, wondering how to explain the situation.
Should I fabricate a story? Or tell the truth?
All these thoughts raced through my mind.
Then, my phone rang.
It was my granddad.
“Hello?”
“Ah, yes. I’ll be there soon.”
“Yes, yes. I’ll take a taxi.”
After responding, I hung up.
Seeing this, Astina's eyes sparkled.
“Rudy, I might not fully understand where this is, but everything here is an illusion. We need to escape from this place...”
I laughed as she rambled on.
"Yes, seeing your face, I think I understand."
Suddenly, a past memory flashed before my eyes.
It was of a wizard named Jefrin striking my head.
And the memory of being told to have a pleasant dream.
Piecing those memories together...
“Am I... dreaming?”
Hearing my words, Astina confirmed with enthusiasm.
"Yes! We need to escape from here."
"How do we get out?"
"If you genuinely want to leave, I've heard you can do so instantly. Just think about wanting to go back!"
"You mean...want to escape?"
I rubbed my chin thoughtfully.
Then, I focused.
I want to escape.
I want to get out...
I must leave...
“…”
"Why... are you hesitating?"
Astina looked at me with growing concern.
That same anxiety started creeping into me.
"I... can't?"
“Please, try more desperately!”
Astina and I stood in the street, trying everything we could think of.
We shouted for someone to send us back and even clasped our hands in desperate prayer.
Yet, there was no change.
I came to a realization.
Was I not feeling desperate enough?
I gazed intently at Astina.
Perhaps she felt uneasy in this unfamiliar world as she tapped her foot nervously.
Outside, she gave off the aura of a dependable senior, but here she looked just like any other girl.
In the outside world, Astina and I were about the same height.
Of course, I was still growing, so over time I would surpass her, but for now, we were similar.
Yet here, as she tapped her foot with an anxious look, she just seemed like an ordinary girl.
“Why are you staring like that…”
Astina's voice wavered as she noticed my gaze.
“It's nothing. I’m just trying to think of a way out.”
“Right…”
Astina and I began brainstorming together.
But answers didn't come easily.
“Hmm…”
I realized this was all a dream.
I had a reason to escape from here.
But I didn't feel that urgency.
Why was that?
After some reflection, I made up my mind.
"Astina, can we go somewhere for a moment?"
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*from the author: The term 'LEET' refers to the aptitude test one takes to enter a specialized law school.
By joining the said school, one can acquire qualifications to become a lawyer, prosecutor, or judge.
*'Zhuangzi's butterfly dream is one of the most famous anecdotes from Daoist philosophy, and it originates from the writings of Zhuangzi (or Chuang Tzu), an influential Chinese philosopher.'
