***Arc 10 One Who Doesn't Acknowledge, Chapter 238 The Equinox of Good and Evil***
――What defines a person?
Where does personality reside――it was a single contemplation.
After several trials, the idea of transferring the brain and creating a new body in complete form seemed like a solution.
However, the body created by magic self-destructed despite its perfection.
Krische never doubted her own abilities.
As long as there was time and materials, she believed she could create anything within her understanding and imagination.
If there were mistakes, they were only in her knowledge, and failure was simply a manifestation of her ignorance.
To her, the 'perfection' she created had no mistakes.
There were only 'gaps' that she didn't know.
For her, it was a logical conclusion that should be considered natural.
She is convinced that it exists without knowing what that ‘gaps' is.
For many, such thinking might be called arrogance, but not for her.
She was, at least, far removed from the feeling arrogance than anyone.
Unforgiving of her own ignorance and immaturity, she possessed a self-deprecating and self-harming objectivity.
It's only natural that she could do everything――only when that was fulfilled, will she met bare minimum for she set herself.
What existed within her was that kind of distorted aesthetic.
She was, more than anyone, a creature of humility and cowardly.
She would never be satisfied, and she would never be able to affirm her own existence.
That was why she showed such dependence on someone who accepted her.
――Analyze, grasp, and calculate all observable laws and principles.
For her, that was one of the few bare minimum that she set.
There was no such thing as ‘something that cannot be done’, and the ‘minimum’ was precisely because it was ‘possible’.
It was not arrogance within her, but an unquestionable fact.
――There were still laws in this world that she didn't know about.
With that conviction, she thought only about that.
She immersed herself in re-examining all uncertainties, exploring parts that differed from the laws of the world she envisioned, lining up various phenomena in parallel, experimenting, and calculating.
At the end of it all, the question arose: Why could her brain think so much?
It was the brain that organizes thoughts, and all calculations and commands were issued by the brain.
She thought so without any doubt, but the more she thought about it, the more questions arose.
The brain emits signals. Nerves transmit them.
However, this system naturally had its limits.
At least it was impossible for the brain to process things faster than that signal.
It was impossible to think about something in a time shorter than the speed of the signal, and considering the capacity of the brain, there was naturally a limit to how much thought can be processed.
It goes without saying that she had performed a numerous calculation processing.
First and foremost, it was outside the laws of physics that she knew.
Stopping time, cutting space――numerous elaborate and intricate formula carved.
The enormity was too much for her own brain to process, and the intricacy was far too advanced.
Then, the word "soul" suddenly comes to mind.
Krische had never seen it.
Rather than being skeptical, she didn't believe in its existence. After all, Krische, who had killed more people than anyone, had never seen such a thing.
But regardless of the truth, Berry and Gala had said that belief was important.
If the two she trusted believed in it, it might not be bad to believe it too. For Krische, the soul was just that, and now its existence shone brightly.
The name 'soul' didn't matter.
Was something in this world that generates consciousness and thought, but not brain exist,
At least that hypothesis fit neatly into the gap she had.
It had been handed down in many parts of the world since the time when people were still living primitive lives, and even today, various religions still believe in something similar to it.
Many religions have different names and definitions and the categories of creatures that hold them were also different.
However what they talked about was essentially the same.
It is a word that indicates the essence of a creature that transcends its physical body.
And that essence was will, consciousness――and because of that, humans could be humans.
――Was it perhaps that the human body cannot exist without the soul.
Bery's body was perfect without a doubt, but what was missing was something called a soul.
Magical power was influenced by consciousness and manipulated by will.
What was will? What as consciousness?
For Krische, it was not brain confined within a small skull.
At least for Krische, her body was like a puppet.
Instead of manipulating everything with signals, nerves, flesh, and reactions, she manipulated everything with magic.
And what manipulated that magic was not her thinking brain.
At least, even when she was asleep, magical power was always surrounding her body and maintaining it.
Or perhaps, it was like a container for the soul to spend time in this world.
Just as eyes allowed seeing things, tongues allowed tasting flavors――the brain processed all of these to sense and perceive the material world.
And the semi-material existence, magic, connected it to the complete spiritual existence called the soul.
This world was not only based on physical laws, but also on another laws.
As long as one relies on the physical body, one would not be able to see or feel this overlapping world because the body was a receptor for sensing matter.
If that was the case, the death of the body might not be death.
As long as the soul does not die――if the soul can be maintained, it would be enough to simply reconstruct the body with magic.
Everything scattered and vaguely floating seemed to come together.
This hypothesis was halfway to a conclusion.
To confirm it, one verification was needed.
To completely stop thinking as a body and shift one's existence to the state of the soul.
At least with her physical body, she couldn't even observe it.
Without observation, there could be no analysis.
Without analysis, there could be no understanding.
To manipulate something called a soul, observation was the first step.
She soaked her naked body in liquefied magic, put it inside her lungs, permeated it, and carved out a formula to maintain the body.
――Was this really okay?
For a moment, fear sprouted.
Shouldn't she made more meticulous preparations?
For dealing with any situation that might arise, it would be better to take every possible measure.
However, the image of Berry, contorting her face in pain, flashed in her mind.
There was no time.
Tomorrow she might be dead, the next moment she might be dead.
There was no time to hesitate.
"ah……"
“......Onee-sama”
When she woke up, she was in bed.
Sitting on the bed was Kreschenta wearing a white one-piece dress.
She gently caressed Krische’s forehead as she slept in a pale pink nightgown.
Selene's room, not Krische’s room with Bery.
Krische was a little confused, but she quickly peeked into her memories and understood the situation.
"Kreschenta. Krische, how much..."
"It's been three days. How are you feeling?"
"Uhh……"
Krische used magic to lift her arm, forming a fist and opening and closing it.
She lifted both hands and feet in this way, raised herself, and smiled, saying ‘There’s no problem’.
"Ehehe, thank you Kreschenta. Krische won't fail this time. Krische finally――"
"Onee-sama, we'll talk about that later. Things are a little bad right now."
"...bad, huh――”
Kreschenta held down Krische who was about to stand up and shouted ‘Bery’, saying "That's not it."
"It’s Selene-sama."
"...Selene?"
"Yes, the forces that rose up in Elderant have invaded us. With the entire western region under their control, General Carnarius could not hold out and barely withdrew successfully. It was said that former General Keithriton served as the rear, but he was probably killed in battle.''
Krische frowned.
“Why is Elderant?”
“I also would like to ask the same thing. Just when negotiations for the last war have just begun. ...Anyway, the insurgent army occupied each city, and the main army was around 60,000. The Western Front Army was destroyed. Lady Selene will lead Onee-sama army to the west.''
"Selene is..."
Kreschenta nodded and continued.
“...As the queen, I would like Onee-sama to go. Even I don't have a clear grasp of the situation, and Selene-sama hasn't had time to prepare. Onee-sama army is excellent, but she was only able to bring in a little over 20,000 troops. If 60,000 enemies rush into the center all at once, we can't say for sure that everything will be okay.''
Krische’s eyes wandered as she contemplated.
The Alberinea army was strong—that was certain.
However, facing double the enemy didn’t mean an easy victory.
The reason why Krische was able to win against twice as many enemies was because she uses herself ‘who will never lose' piece to hunt the enemy’s head.
However, at least in battles between armies, the number of soldiers in an army was essentially an absolute indicator.
A strong soldier was just that, a strong soldier.
10,000 strong soldiers might have an advantage over the same number of soldiers, and might be equal to 10,000 or more normal soldiers, but that didn’t mean they could take on twice or three times as many enemies.
If they could do that, there would be no need for a plan in the battle between Bogan and Aleha.
Selene was quite talented as a commander, and Kolkis and the others had more than enough abilities.
If the opponent was incompetent, they might be able to overwhelm them, but if the opponent was a decent general, that wouldn't be an absolute advantage.
“…Who is the enemy general?”
"Ledo Rani. It seems that he was the subordinate of Shelna Veeze, the enemy general that Onee-sama killed last time. After the war, he switched to Arkaz and fought in the civil war as a confidant of the current King of Elderant, so I thought he was quite ambitious but..."
Kreschenta asked with a glance and Krische shook her head.
She had never heard his name before.
They had killed the escorts, but he might one of those who slipped out.
``During the last war, Duke Remin's headquarters were raided by a man who called himself that. From what the information gathered, he served as the king's right-hand man during the civil war and had great success. ...He’s not an opponent to be underestimated, including his ability to gather that many troops through a simple uprising. I don't think I can feel safe with Selene-sama and Onee-sama’s army alone.''
‘So, Onee-sama’.
“Of course, the north and south have already moved, and Duke Remin will lead his army as reinforcement in a little while...but if Onee-sama can go, then I can rest assured.”
Krische hugged her pillow and lowered her eyes.
Indeed, from the information, it was quite a problem.
If there were nothing else, she would be heading there right now.
But――
“…Umm, Bery is”
"Nothing changed. It's not going in a good direction, though."
Kreschenta narrowed her eyes and caressed her sister's cheek.
"I understand that Onee-sama is saving time for Argan-sama. But right now, time is scarce for us too. If, by any chance, something goes wrong and there are complications, the situation in Elsren, that is calm right now, might change. The same goes for Elderant."
To soothe, to calm her down.
"...The reason why Onee-sama and I are able to take time for Argan-sama is because we want peace to exist around the kingdom. I'm sure Onee-sama understand that as well."
Krische nodded silently and then said.
‘This time it's true.’
"Really, if Krische just have a little more time, Bery――"
"Onee-sama. I don't doubt Onee-sama’s abilities. ...If it were really a little later and Onee-sama could do it even today, I wouldn't say anything either. But, that isn't the case right?"
“That’s...”
Kreschenta kissed her sister's lips and whispered.
"I'll do what I have to do...for Onee-sama and Argan-sama."
Krische’s long silver eyelashes quivered, her violet eyes flickered and moisten.
She then silently nodded again.
"...Krische will say goodbye Bery."
“Yes, I have already informed Argan-sama briefly. I have some paperwork to do here.”
Krische get up and went straight out the door.
Kreschenta saw her off, lowered her eyes, and lie down on the bed.
“…For Onee-sama and Argan-sama.”
She smiled bitterly and grabber her pillow, pulling it close.
‘...Even if it can hold out, how many years are you planning on holding out?’
‘Of course, for as many decades as Krische-sama wishes.’
‘Even if life continues to be worse than it is now?’
‘There's no need to think about it...I've made an oath.’
Despite not even able to conceal the pain, Bery spoke those words without hesitation, smiling.
It was as if she had forgotten how much she had suffered over the past year.
However, Kreschenta never forgot what she saw or the words that she heard.
Kreschenta, like Krische, did not have the ability to forget something.
"...Argan-sama."
——Are you still happy right now?
If she had asked that, she would probably answered with a smile.
As if she didn't know any misfortunate, with her usual expression, she would say, ‘Yes, very much’.
“——That is why I have decided to at least die to atone for Kreschenta-sama’s sins. From now on, Kreschenta-sama will be able to find happiness. Kreschenta-sama can finally sleep peacefully. If that happens, there will be no need for Kreschenta-sama to commit any more sin in the future.’
Nora's words, from the a certain day, come to her mind.
‘——I believe that Kreschenta-sama will be able to live a happy life without committing more sins. That's why I would like to settle Kreschenta-sama’s past sins here and let Kreschenta-sama find happiness without sin.''
Saying that, she took her own life.
‘Stupid’, Kreschenta thought.
She must be hopelessly stupid.
She couldn’t even calculate the obvious profit-loss that even a child would understand.
There was no guarantee that her wish would be fulfilled, yet she took her own life.
"Nora"
Alone in the room.
"...You're an idiot."
The girl whispered quietly.
